I have so many mixed emotions right now. I feel the pain of friends whose
worlds have been turned upside down and are wrestling with hard things that
will inevitably unearth more hard things. I mourn the loss of what was good at
Mars Hill and the lost aspirations to address a gaping hole in American
Christianity—to get back to Jesus, the Bible, and the Gospel through music,
art, discourse, and ordinary life in the pursuit of Meaning, Beauty,
Authenticity, Truth, and Community. I grieve with the wounded—in the end
everyone was run over by the bus. My heart aches with those who feel lost,
alone, confused, uprooted, broken, and hurt from every angle of this. I feel
guarded. I am watchful over my heart that is very prone to wonder. I am
watchful over my engagements and processing, conscious of the need to be as
wise as a serpent and as innocent as a dove. I am grieved and angry at what I
did to feed the machine, at how I was deceived, and at the effects, both then
and now. I am grieved and angry that Mark chose the path of Saul rather than
David and burned the house down rather than humble himself to walk in
repentance and light, and that he profited from the demise of others. I am
grieved and angry that leaders did not lead, shepherds did not stand guard,
friends were not willing to wound in love, to lay down their lives for their
brother. I am grieved and angry that truth was corrupted, and the opportunity,
platform, and resources were not stewarded in love, but rather were
squandered in greed, partiality, selfish ambition and pride. I mourn the loss
of what could have been. I am also deeply stirred with hope. I am hopeful that
in the dying, new life will steadily emerge. I have hope that God is not only
stripping away in our hearts, but building up. I have hope that God will
restore what the locusts have devoured, and not only that, will use the very
barrenness to craft His masterpiece. I have hope that what He has taken away
cannot even compare to what He is bringing. I have hope, that even in this
difficult time, God will not just show us, but unveil in us, His beauty and
glory, drawing us evermore to Himself in and for abundant joy. I am excited to
see how this will manifest in diverse forms and places. I also know that God
can still move hearts to repent—to come home to be welcomed with joyful tears.
I long for that, I pray that He would. I trust in His goodness. Praying for all
of us and resting in His perfect peace.
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