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Monday, January 4, 2010

Love that Lasts Marriage Quotes

I’ll admit it. I am a bit of a nerd. I love to read and discuss books. For my birthday present this year, I asked some family members to choose to read from a list of books I selected so that we could discuss. The books were “The Peacemaker” by Ken Sande; “Love that Lasts: When Marriage Meets Grace” by Gary and Betsy Riccuci; “A Praying Life” by Paul Miller; or “Relationships a Mess Worth Making” by Paul Trip and Tim Lane.
One family member chose “Love that Lasts: When Marriage Meets Grace”. He sent me a list of his favorite quotes from the book. It was so fun to see the book through his lens and also to review what I had read. I have to say, it was a great birthday present! Below are his favorite quotes from the book.  And since this is a post on marriage, I would like to dedicate it to my cousin Lisa and her fiancé Owen who got engaged this weekend!  Congratulations!

• "Briefly stated, Scripture teaches that marriage is a profound and marvelous relationship - a mystery, established by God for his glory." - pg. 20

• "The church is the place where men and women exchange worldly independence for biblical humility." - pg. 24

• "A couple who commits to a local church begins to put to death proud and dangerous independence." - pg. 24

• "Roles, it turns out, are a reflection of God's best, not a response to our worst! They display the wisdom of divine order and care and are designed to bring glory to God as they reflect his perfect plan for the greatest good of those he has created." - pg. 31

• "How remarkable and revealing that secular culture recognizes the wisdom of authority, leadership, and defined roles in almost every other area of life - business, sports, entertainment, government, the military, and education - but balks at the notion that men and women should have different roles in marriage." - pg. 34

• "We honor our wives by demonstrating our appreciation, courtesy, and respect: affirming the indications of God's active grace in their lives...Honor not expressed is not honor. Gratitude not expressed is not gratitude." - pg. 39

• "How marvelous that the God who created this tender, affectionate love is also the One who enables us to express it." - pg. 49

• "We may not realize it, but when we withhold respect, what we're really thinking is, When they're worthy, then I'll express respect. I'm so thankful God has never treated me this way! Psalm 103:10 reminds us, "He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities." - pg. 55

• "Yes, leadership and authority are obviously God-like qualities, but submission is every bit as God-like!" - pg. 58

• "If I posture myself to work on the beauty within, to fear the Lord, and rise to the example of this Proverbs 31 woman, at the very least I know I have sought to be God's girl and not a product of Woman's Day or Cosmopolitan. No longer is Proverbs 31 a list of impossible dreams, but instead it is now poetry, created to inspire me to be more than I am. - pg. 62

• "Married men and women - equal before God in dignity and value but different in function and role - have an inherent, God-given call and desire to regularly fit back into one another's lives, living in intimate companionship and fellowship with one another." - pg. 68

• "One way the foolishness of pride is displayed in our communication is in our love for our own voice and opinions. Consider this proverb, just one of many that ties our speech to wisdom and foolishness: "A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion" (Proverbs 18:2)." - pg. 70

• "Certainly one threat is the dulling effect of busyness and routine in marriage. We can end up, in effect, worshiping efficiency and productivity at the expense of regular conversation about God, his Word, and his ways." - pg. 75

• "In fact, the absence of a growing intimacy between husband and wife, although tragically accepted in many marriages as "just the way things are," is in fact evidence of a series of choices to deviate from God's will and his abundantly available grace." - pg. 77

• "Some spouses love to talk easily and casually but find it a challenge to express more complex thoughts and feelings. Others have little patience for small talk and find value only in deeper interactions. The reality is that a marriage needs every type of conversation." - pg. 85

• "Our words are to be intentional in these three ways: good for building up, befitting the occasion, and giving grace to those who hear." - pg. 85

• "None of us ever matures beyond the need for encouragement (because we are still becoming more holy) or correction (because we still sin)." - pg. 91

• "Correct one another out of a desire to serve. Just as correction ought to be given as part of fellowship, not conflict, it must be performed as an act of servanthood, not judgment....Here Jesus warns against judging another's heart, motive, or intentions when we bring correction. Instead, our posture is to be humble and loving, not assuming ill about our spouse. In this way, our spouse benfits from our words, example of humility, and expression of true love." - pg. 93

• "When one spouse was disappointed by the other, the response was anger and unkindness rather than love and self-control." - pg. 98

• "All conflicts in a marriage can be resolved. Yes, all. Our God is able to resolve them. Therefore, any resignation, despair, or hopelessness you may feel regarding your marriage stems far more from an inadequate view of God than it does from any view, accurate or inaccurate, of your spouse or yourself." - pg. 104

• "Committing yourself to serve in the sanctification process over time is not to ignore or excuse your spouse's sin. It is to recognize that the Spirit of God generally brings illumination, understanding, and conviction gradually. Humble patience in a conflict echoes the long-suffering nature of God's love for us." - pg. 108

• "How many confess pride and covetousness with their lips but roll them as honey under their tongue. Augustine said that before his conversion he confessed sin and begged power against it, but his heart whispered within him, "not yet, Lord." - pg. 109

• "If romance is a priority, we will make time for it. If it isn't, we won't. That's how you tell if something is truly a priority. What we deeply value, we will make happen." - pg. 121

• "Bitterness is so wicked because of the self-righetous judgment that sees the faults and failures of others as exceeding our own. And it results in a failure to forgive others as we have been forgiven." - pg. 122

• "We also need to plan for romance; its priority is reflected in our choices about how we structure our time." - pg. 126

• "Romance to us simply means communicating - in as many consistent and creative ways as we can - that our spouse is the most important, precious, desirable person we will ever know." - pg. 131

• "Sex within marriage, with all its unifiying pleasure and procreative power, was God's idea, not ours. He is the author of our sexuality. When we develop a satisfying sexual relationship with our spouse, we honor God as the Creator and designer of sex." - pg. 134

• "In order for romance to deepen, you must touch the heart and mind of your wife before you touch her body." - pg. 139

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