A Shout Out

I just wanted to say thanks for all your prayers and help during these several weeks where Kristian and I have been apart. The Lord has been so faithful to provide for us in every way in this challenging time! God willing, Kristian's project in Alaska will be complete tomorrow, so he is scheduled to fly out of Alaska tomorrow afternoon! Please pray that things would go smoothly with the project, that he would get the flight he is hoping to get, that the weather would cooperate and not cause any delays, and that he would be home safe and sound tomorrow night. I am very much looking forward to being reunited with my beloved!

I want to give a special thanks to Luke, Emmi, and Owen who have fed Slash the fish, mowed the lawn, taken out the trash, helped with my car and home repairs, etc. I want to thank Lisa for being a great roommate. I want to thank our family and friends who have prayed, called, e-mailed, written, and kept me company. I want to thank Grace Fellowship for the friendship, encouragement, and loving prayers.

Through all of you, we have been showered with tremendous love--the very love of Christ.

Dear Lord, Thank you for your faithfulness to us. It blows me away. I do not deserve your great kindness, and yet you make a point of showing it to me everyday! Thank you for teaching us more about yourself, even through difficulty. Thank you for creating in us more joy in you, even through pain. It is all worth it. Thank you for your love that surpasses my sin. Thank you for these dear ones that you have placed in our lives. Please bless them abundantly for their service to us, which is really service to you. I praise you and commit this next season of life and whatever it brings into your more than able hands--may it bring you much glory! In Jesus Name, Amen

Your Steadfast Love is Better than Life... and Motherhood, and.....

1 Samuel 1:19-27 and I Samuel 2:1-11
They rose early in the morning and worshiped before the Lord; then they went back to their house at Ramah. And Elkanah knew Hannah his wife, and the Lord remembered her. 20 And in due time Hannah conceived and bore a son, and she called his name Samuel, for she said, “I have asked for him from the Lord.”21 The man Elkanah and all his house went up to offer to the Lord the yearly sacrifice and to pay his vow. 22 But Hannah did not go up, for she said to her husband, “As soon as the child is weaned, I will bring him, so that he may appear in the presence of the Lord and dwell there forever.” 23 Elkanah her husband said to her, “Do what seems best to you; wait until you have weaned him; only, may the Lord establish his word.” So the woman remained and nursed her son until she weaned him. 24 And when she had weaned him, she took him up with her, along with a three-year-old bull, an ephah of flour, and a skin of wine, and she brought him to the house of the Lord at Shiloh. And the child was young. 25 Then they slaughtered the bull, and they brought the child to Eli. 26 And she said, “Oh, my lord! As you live, my lord, I am the woman who was standing here in your presence, praying to the Lord. 27 For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted me my petition that I made to him. 28 Therefore I have lent him to the Lord. As long as he lives, he is lent to the Lord.” And he worshiped the Lord there.2:1 And Hannah prayed and said,“My heart exults in the Lord;my strength is exalted in the Lord.My mouth derides my enemies,because I rejoice in your salvation.2 “There is none holy like the Lord;there is none besides you;there is no rock like our God.3 Talk no more so very proudly,let not arrogance come from your mouth;for the Lord is a God of knowledge,and by him actions are weighed.4 The bows of the mighty are broken,but the feeble bind on strength.5 Those who were full have hired themselves out for bread,but those who were hungry have ceased to hunger.The barren has borne seven,but she who has many children is forlorn.6 The Lord kills and brings to life;he brings down to Sheol and raises up.7 The Lord makes poor and makes rich;he brings low and he exalts.8 He raises up the poor from the dust;he lifts the needy from the ash heapto make them sit with princes and inherit a seat of honor.For the pillars of the earth are the Lord's,and on them he has set the world.9 “He will guard the feet of his faithful ones,but the wicked shall be cut off in darkness,for not by might shall a man prevail.10 The adversaries of the Lord shall be broken to pieces;against them he will thunder in heaven.The Lord will judge the ends of the earth;he will give strength to his king and exalt the power of his anointed.”11 Then Elkanah went home to Ramah. And the boy ministered to the Lord in the presence of Eli the priest.

Hebrews 11:6 says, “And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.”

I love what came out of Hannah earnestly seeking the Lord by pouring her heart out to Him sincerely in prayer in faith. He met her! He restored to her the joy of her salvation. He enabled her to trust Him and to see His character. He enabled her to worship Him. He enabled her to love Him and her husband. All of these things could not happen in Hannah’s own strength from her place of deep despair, but the Lord was faithful to do these things! Her heart was changed, not because she got what she wanted, but because the Lord changed her heart when she sought Him and He enabled Hannah to see His goodness and to experience His peace. Even more than the blessing of a child, this was the reward of earnestly seeking the Lord!

How do I know that seeing the Lord was her reward, independantly from acheiving motherhood? Hannah experienced joy and peace and reconciliation even before she received the blessing of a child! Before she knew that she would be a mother, she learned to trust God in the midst of her trial and she was enabled to worship God and love others (like her husband). The story of Hannah in the Bible ends with her beautiful song of praise, right after she gives up her only child for service to the Lord! Something in Hannah's heart must have changed! God revealed more and more of His character to Hannah through her trial, and seeing His character grew love in her heart for Him, producing great joy and peace for her!

How many times have we prayed for a child! What a day it would be if the Lord sees fit to bless us with a child too! Yet, if He never does, I want to still trust Him and His character—His Lovingkindness, His Mercy, His Righteousness, His Justice, His Perfect Goodness, His Faithfulness, His Sovereignty, His Might, etc. More than any other blessing, I want to know Him, I want to see His beauty in increasing measure, I want to love Him, I want to treasure Him above all else, I want to worship Him, and I want to love others because of Him. These are my primary desires. I want these primary desires to trump all of my other desires, and I want my desire for children to flow only from these primary desires. My only hope for this is to keep going back to Lord humbly and honestly, like Hannah did. I must earnestly seek Him like Hannah did. What does it mean to seek Him earnestly? http://www.dictionary.com/ defines earnest as: 1. serious in intention, purpose, or effort; sincerely zealous: an earnest worker; 2. showing depth and sincerity of feeling: earnest words; an earnest entreaty; 3. seriously important; demanding or receiving serious attention.–noun 4. full seriousness, as of intention or purpose: to speak in earnest.

This definition of "earnest" helped shed light on Psalm 63 for me as David earnestly sought the Lord in the wilderness and in the midst of his trials. In David’s earnest (serious, intentional, sincere, zealous, important) seeking, the Lord revealed His goodness and satisfied David’s soul, bringing him joy, peace, and trust in the middle of uncertain circumstances. Every time I have earnestly sought the Lord, He has been faithful to reveal Himself to me. The result is more joy, peace, and trust in Him! Oh, that I would more often and more naturally seek Him earnestly in all the circumstances of my life so that I might be satisfied with His steadfast love that truly is better than life!

Psalm 63
O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you;my soul thirsts for you;my flesh faints for you,as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.2 So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary,beholding your power and glory.3 Because your steadfast love is better than life,my lips will praise you.4 So I will bless you as long as I live;in your name I will lift up my hands.
5 My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food,and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips,6 when I remember you upon my bed,and meditate on you in the watches of the night;7 for you have been my help,and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy.8 My soul clings to you;your right hand upholds me.
9 But those who seek to destroy my lifeshall go down into the depths of the earth;10 they shall be given over to the power of the sword;they shall be a portion for jackals.11 But the king shall rejoice in God;all who swear by him shall exult,for the mouths of liars will be stopped.

Help in the Time of Need

9 After they had eaten and drunk in Shiloh, Hannah rose. Now Eli the priest was sitting on the seat beside the doorpost of the temple of the Lord. 10 She was deeply distressed and prayed to the Lord and wept bitterly. 11 And she vowed a vow and said, “O Lord of hosts, if you will indeed look on the affliction of your servant and remember me and not forget your servant, but will give to your servant a son, then I will give him to the Lord all the days of his life, and no razor shall touch his head.”

12 As she continued praying before the Lord, Eli observed her mouth. 13 Hannah was speaking in her heart; only her lips moved, and her voice was not heard. Therefore Eli took her to be a drunken woman. 14 And Eli said to her, “How long will you go on being drunk? Put your wine away from you.” 15 But Hannah answered, “No, my lord, I am a woman troubled in spirit. I have drunk neither wine nor strong drink, but I have been pouring out my soul before the Lord. 16 Do not regard your servant as a worthless woman, for all along I have been speaking out of my great anxiety and vexation.” 17 Then Eli answered, “Go in peace, and the God of Israel grant your petition that you have made to him.” 18 And she said, “Let your servant find favor in your eyes.” Then the woman went her way and ate, and her face was no longer sad.

We pick up Hannah’s story after her husband talked to her about her all consuming sorrow. Although we don’t know if it happened immediately or easily, Hannah eventually responds to her husband’s rebuke with action. Verse 9 suggests that perhaps she finally emerged to participate in the worshipful feast by eating and drinking. More importantly, we do know that she finally poured her sorrowful heart out to God. Rather than remaining introspective or merely walking through the outward motions of participating in the feast, Hannah sought her Loving Father with a sincere and honest heart. In doing so, Hannah was living out Philippians 4:4-7:

"Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. 5 Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; 6 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

Interestingly, this verse commands us to rejoice. Yet, we cannot muster up joy. This task seems particularly impossible sorrowful circumstances. We are simply powerless to obey this command to rejoice in ourselves! However, this section of Scripture does give us the solution to this dilemma. Firstly, we are called to rejoice in the Lord. Our joy is not tied to our circumstances. If we are believers in the good news of the gospel (that our Good and Gracious God loves us and paid the ultimate sacrifice for relationship with us despite our rebellion against Him and redeems us from our sin so that we can enjoy Him forever) there is always reason for thanksgiving and always reason for joy. Secondly, it tells us that the Lord is at hand. He is near to us always. Thirdly, it tells us that we have access to our Lord to receive help. Rather than being anxious, we can pray and present our requests with thanksgiving to God. Finally, this section of Scripture tells us that God is faithful to give us peace that rises above our understanding. This peace defies our circumstances! HE is the one to guard our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus! Although we cannot rationalize our way to joy, it is God Himself can supernaturally fill us with the fruit of His Spirit—love, JOY, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self control. He delights to answer our prayers for this.

Luke 11:9-13: 9"So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 10For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. 11"Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead? 12Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? 13If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!"

We should never underestimate the value of going to Him in our sorrow. I love this illustration from one of my favorite theologians, Dr. Bruce Ware. In a sermon I heard him preach (I couldn’t find the link online unfortunately), Dr. Ware told us to imagine if one of his young daughters was riding her bike in the street in front of his house while he was sitting on the porch watching. He told us to imagine that his daughter fell off of her bike, scraped her knee, and started crying. Seeking comfort from her pain, the daughter immediately runs past her loving, concerned, father who is right in front of her, and instead runs over to the neighbor mowing his lawn. This would grieve a father who wants to comfort and protect his daughter in a way that only a father can. In a similar way, God wants us to go to Him with our sorrows! Unlike an earthly father, our Heavenly Father created us, knows us completely, loves us perfectly, designed us to need Him and to be fulfilled in Him alone, has the answer to every problem we face, and can do all things. He is the only One who can help us in the way that we need!

Getting back to Hannah…. she doesn’t try to clean herself up before going to the Lord. She doesn’t pretend to have things “together”. Instead, she is honest before her Loving Father and she pours out her heart to Him. She respectfully and humbly presents her request before God with faith in God’s ability to do anything He pleases.

Additionally, Hannah makes herself vulnerable and receives help from God’s people. We are told that she was so focused on her conversation with God, that Eli the priest mistook her intensity for drunkenness. Rather than getting indignant, proud, or rude because Eli misunderstood her situation, Hannah responded graciously in humility. Rather than shrinking back from community when she was misunderstood and wrongly rebuked, Hannah patiently explained her situation to Eli, which enabled him to join her in her prayer for a child. This is not an easy response. How many times do I shrink back when I hear an insensitive or misunderstanding comment about my infertility! However, I can also testify to the great blessing it is to allow myself to be real and honest with Christian brothers and sisters who can in turn encourage and pray for me!

After pouring her heart out to the Lord and confiding in a Christian brother who joined her in prayer, Hannah experienced peace. She was able to eat and her face was no longer sad. She did not have the child for which her heart longed, but she did have peace that surpassed all understanding because she finally laid out her heart to the Lord and He was faithful to give her peace.

Isaiah 53 calls Jesus “a man of sorrows”. Jesus responded to sorrow perfectly, and His life serves as our perfect model. He suffered greatly, and His time in the Garden of Gethsemane tells us that He took His sorrows to the Father! We are told in Luke 22:44 that “being in an agony he prayed more earnestly”. He did not make demands of God to change His circumstances. He humbly asked for relief, but He sought, asked for, and ultimately desired that only the Father’s will to be done. Jesus loves the Father and therefore desired to obey the Father more than He desired relief from His circumstances. He was ready to accept what the Father would give, even if it would break His heart. He sought strength and power from the Father through the Spirit to endure the Father’s will. He had faith in His Father’s character and purposes. He anticipated the joy set before Him (Hebrews 12:2 says that Jesus “for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross”). He was not immobilized by His pain, but rather moved forward in loving sacrificial service to others in the ultimate form. Because of this heart, the Father “highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.” (Phil 2:10-11)

While I cannot do these things in my own strength, I can follow Jesus’ example in going to the throne of grace (through prayer and the Word) to receive the help I need! I can honestly say that every time I have earnestly poured my heart out to God, He has been faithful to meet me as I sought Him--through my study of His word, through the Body of Christ, through circumstances, or through a song, a sermon, a book, etc.

Hebrews 4:14-16 Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. 15For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. 16Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for your faithfulness! Thank you that we have access to you through Jesus! Thank you that you give us your Spirit to guide and empower and equip us to live as you would have us to live. Thank you, Jesus, for your perfect example to us! Help us to follow that example by your Spirit, as we are powerless to do so without you! Thank you that you do not leave us as slaves to our sin or even to our emotions or circumstances. We believe your promises and truth about this. We come to you with our sorrow. We cry out to you for help, comfort, and peace. Protect us from sinning against you and against others. Reveal our sin to us and grant us repentance. Fill us with the power to endure patiently and lovingly. Give us joy in you despite our circumstances! Remind us of your faithfulness always. We are so grateful to you for the gospel! Help us to come around each other as the Body of Christ to give and receive love in sorrow. We also pray that you would grant our requests for our deferred hopes—whether that would be children, a spouse, a job, the salvation of a loved one, or whatever godly longing is in our heart. You are the giver of all good gifts. You are our Great Provider. All things are possible for you. Yet, we pray that your will would be done because we love and trust you, our Great Father. Please meet us in our time of need. In Jesus Name, Amen

All Consuming Sorrow

Dear Heavenly Father, Please reveal yourself to us as we open up your Word. Holy Spirit, open our eyes to see and believe and live your truth. May your Word sink into our souls and change us. May you be glorified by in this study. In Jesus Mighty Name, Amen.

1 Samuel 1:1-8 There was a certain man of Ramathaim-zophim of the hill country of Ephraim whose name was Elkanah the son of Jeroham, son of Elihu, son of Tohu, son of Zuph, an Ephrathite. 2 He had two wives. The name of the one was Hannah, and the name of the other, Peninnah. And Peninnah had children, but Hannah had no children.3 Now this man used to go up year by year from his city to worship and to sacrifice to the Lord of hosts at Shiloh, where the two sons of Eli, Hophni and Phinehas, were priests of the Lord. 4 On the day when Elkanah sacrificed, he would give portions to Peninnah his wife and to all her sons and daughters. 5 But to Hannah he gave a double portion, because he loved her, though the Lord had closed her womb. 6 And her rival used to provoke her grievously to irritate her, because the Lord had closed her womb. 7 So it went on year by year. As often as she went up to the house of the Lord, she used to provoke her. Therefore Hannah wept and would not eat. 8 And Elkanah, her husband, said to her, “Hannah, why do you weep? And why do you not eat? And why is your heart sad? Am I not more to you than ten sons?”

Hannah had it rough. Not only did she ache to be a mother, but she had to share her husband with another wife, and the other wife had his children and taunted her for her inability to conceive. We are told that this was a pattern in Hannah’s life year after year. I can imagine that with each year, it just got harder and harder for Hannah. Moreover, as often as Hannah faithfully went up to the house of the Lord, her rival provoked her! I could just imagine how confusing that must have been—especially knowing it was the Lord who closed her womb. Perhaps she wondered, “Lord, I am trying to obey you and follow your ways, why would you withhold the blessing of a child from me while you bless Penninah who sinfully mocks me all the time?” Or maybe she asked, “Lord, isn’t it enough that I don’t have children and Peninnah does, why must I bear her provocations as well?”

Regardless of what she was thinking, we do know that Hannah’s pain overwhelmed her to the point of weeping and not eating. To further grasp the significance of this, it is helpful to have a little background here. Elkanah had gone to Shiloh to participate in one of three holy feasts to worship and offer joyful sacrifices to God. After the sacrifice was made, the offerer could eat of it and distribute it to those whom he chose. Theologian John Wesley's sermon notes on this passage tell us this: "Out of the sacrifice of his peace - offerings, the greatest part whereof fell to the offerer, and was eaten by him, and his friends or guests, before the Lord. And out of this he gave them all portions, as the master of the feast used to do to the guests. " Elkanah gave Hannah the gift of a double portion of this offering as a demonstration of love for her. It was to be eaten by her in joyful worship to God. Instead of accepting the loving gift from her husband and participating in this act of worship to God, Hannah was distracted by her sorrow. Her sorrow became all consuming. As Bible Commentator Matthew Henry describes, “It made her uneasy to herself and to all her relations. She did not eat of the feast; her trouble took away her appetite, made her unfit for any company, and a jar in the harmony of family-joy.”

Hannah’s husband tries to cheer her up. We don’t know what Hannah thought of her husband’s words initially. Maybe she thought, “Why can’t you just understand what I am going through?” Maybe she thought, “You are right, I should not allow myself to drown in my sorrow and introspection.” There does seem to be some rebuke in what Elkanah was saying to her about the way she was being consumed by this struggle. The Expositor’s Bible Commentary says:

Elkanah, mindful of Hannah's grief, asked her, "Why are you downhearted?" (v.8). More literally the question is, "Why is your heart bad?" The only other precise OT parallel for this phrase is Deuteronomy 15:10: "Do so without a grudging heart" (lit., "May your heart not be bad when you do so!" [i.e., when you give generously to the Lord]). To do something "with a bad heart" means to do it resentfully (or grudgingly; so NIV on Deut 15:10). Thus Elkanah is not so much asking Hannah why her heart is sad ("Why are you downhearted?") but why her heart is bad ("Why are you resentful?"). Are you angry or full of spite because you do not have children? "Don't I"—your husband, who loves you very much—"mean more to you than ten sons?"

While the passage does not explicitly say so, I am inclined to agree with these commentators that there was something sinful in Hannah’s all-consuming response to her situation and that her husband was gently calling her out on it. Like Hannah, I sometimes find myself drowning in my own pain to the exclusion of all others. I compare my situation with others, and I often find that I have been given the short end of the stick—minimizing the pain of others and amplifying my own. I get self-absorbed and self-consumed to the extent that it interferes with my ability to love others—to rejoice with those who rejoice, to mourn with those who mourn, and to humbly and sacrificially serve. I lose sight of my blessings and instead zoom in on the circumstances that cause me pain. I think this was Hannah’s sin too.

I love this observation by Matthew Henry about the state of Hannah’s mourning: “… it was her infirmity so far to give way to the sorrow of the world as to unfit herself for holy joy in God. Those that are of a fretful spirit, and are apt to lay provocations too much to heart, are enemies to themselves, and strip themselves very much of the comforts both of life and godliness.”

Our sorrows should not overshadow our joy in the Lord if we believe the good news of the Gospel and if we desire and worship the Lord above all things. Our desires for changed circumstances should not overshadow our desire for the God and for His good and perfect will. Our suffering should not distract us from loving those around us. Our feelings do not entitle us to “let go” and behave however we feel to the neglect of God and others.

I want to be clear about what I am not saying though--I am not saying that there is something wrong with grieving. We see this picture of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane. In the garden, Jesus anticipated: bearing the full weight of the sins of the world, absorbing the full wrath against those sins, being separated from the Father with whom He enjoyed perfect relationship, enduring the mocking scorn of the creation He rightfully ruled, being abandoned by His friends, and suffering the excruciating pain and brutality of it all. Matthew 26:37 tells us that Jesus was sorrowful “even to the point of death”. Luke 22:44 tells us that in His agony, Jesus’ sweat became like great drops of blood falling to the ground. Jesus did not sin in any of the emotions He experienced.

We have much to learn in what Jesus did do in His sorrow. We’ll talk more about that next time. In the meantime, I’ll close with this quote from John Piper:

If there were no afflictions and difficulties and troubles and pain, our fallen hearts would fall ever more deeply in love with the comforts and securities and pleasures of this world instead of falling more deeply in love with our inheritance beyond this world, namely, God himself. Suffering is appointed for us in this life as a great mercy to keep us from loving this world more than we should and to make us rely on God who raises the dead. "Through many tribulations we must enter the kingdom of God" (Acts 14:22).
There is no other way. Do not begrudge them. They are hard to bear. I know they are. But if you keep your inheritance before you, and if God gives you the grace to see what Paul calls "the riches of the glory of his inheritance" (Ephesians 1:18), then will you not say with the apostle, "I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us"? –John Piper, from his sermon, “Children, Heirs, and Fellow Sufferers,” available at: http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/Sermons/ByDate/2002/89_Children_Heirs_and_Fellow_Sufferers/

Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for your Word and the way it speaks to every circumstance in our lives. Thank you that there is purpose in suffering and that you do not leave us alone in it. Just as Jesus wept with Mary and Martha at the death of Lazarus, I know you weep with us in our pain as well. Please make us faithful in the way that we suffer. May we never desire anything or anyone more than we desire you! Please forgive us for our lack of desire for you and fill us with an all consuming hunger for you. Forgive us for being self-absorbed and demanding. Forgive us for excusing our sins on the basis of the emotions we feel. Sometimes it feels so overwhelming. Clearly we do not have the power to do this on our own. Please give us the strength and the power of your Spirit to resist our sinful inclinations. By your Spirit, may we keep our eyes on you rather than on ourselves or our circumstances. Please fill us with love for you to endure our circumstances with patience. Please fill us with love for others so that we can humbly and sincerely serve others out of love. I ask all of this in Jesus' name, Amen.

The God of Glory Thunders!

As I was driving over the floating bridge today, my cousin and I saw lightening strike about 50 feet away from us over the water. I have never seen lightening that close. It was amazing--awe inspiring, fear producing, and beautiful. The rain pelted our car window like daggers from the sky, and the black cloud above us roared in thunder. It reminded me of how powerful and mighty God is--awe inspiring, fear producing, and beautiful.

Psalm 29

Ascribe to the Lord, O heavenly beings, ascribe to the Lord glory and strength.2 Ascribe to the Lord the glory due his name; worship the Lord in the splendor of holiness.
3 The voice of the Lord is over the waters; the God of glory thunders,the Lord, over many waters.4 The voice of the Lord is powerful; the voice of the Lord is full of majesty.
5 The voice of the Lord breaks the cedars; the Lord breaks the cedars of Lebanon.6 He makes Lebanon to skip like a calf, and Sirion like a young wild ox.
7 The voice of the Lord flashes forth flames of fire.8 The voice of the Lord shakes the wilderness;the Lord shakes the wilderness of Kadesh.
9 The voice of the Lord makes the deer give birth and strips the forests bare,and in his temple all cry, “Glory!”
10 The Lord sits enthroned over the flood; the Lord sits enthroned as king forever.11 May the Lord give strength to his people! May the Lord bless his people with peace!

Hope Deferred

Psalm 127 calls children “a heritage from the Lord” and “the fruit of the womb a reward.”

Psalm 128:3 says of the man who fears the Lord, “Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your sons will be like olive shoots around your table.”

I want to be a fruitful vine. I want to know the blessing of children. I want to teach my children to love the Lord with all their heart, soul and might as Deuteronomy 6 instructs.

But for many of us--for reasons we cannot understand--our Gracious, Loving, and Mighty God has closed our wombs. Each month, our hopes of welcoming and nurturing a new life into this world are exchanged for cramps and bleeding. We do not know when or whether we will be given the gift of children. We experience the pain and sickness that comes with the “hope deferred” that is described in Proverbs 13:12. We fight against sins like bitterness, anger, jealousy, and discontentment that rise up within us. Yet in Christ and through the Holy Spirit, God promises us a deeper joy and a name that is better than sons and daughters. God calls us to be fruitful in every season of life, whether or not we have the blessing of motherhood. He even empowers us to resist the temptations of sin that comes along with each of our trials.

Last year, I led a ministry for infertile women at our church. As part of this ministry, I took a deeper look at the story of Hannah in the book of 1 Samuel. This passage of Scripture has so much encouragement for women undergoing infertility (and really for anyone with any kind of hope deferred). Hannah experienced the pain of infertility. While Hannah’s infertility eventually ended with pregnancy, her story tells us that there is an even greater blessing than motherhood. Her painful journey brought her to a place of much joy. In my next couple blog posts, I plan to discuss this in greater detail. I pray that the Lord would reveal Himself to us as we read this passage of Scripture:

1 Samuel 1:1-28 and 1 Samuel 2:1-11

There was a certain man of Ramathaim-zophim of the hill country of Ephraim whose name was Elkanah the son of Jeroham, son of Elihu, son of Tohu, son of Zuph, an Ephrathite. 2 He had two wives. The name of the one was Hannah, and the name of the other, Peninnah. And Peninnah had children, but Hannah had no children.

3 Now this man used to go up year by year from his city to worship and to sacrifice to the Lord of hosts at Shiloh, where the two sons of Eli, Hophni and Phinehas, were priests of the Lord. 4 On the day when Elkanah sacrificed, he would give portions to Peninnah his wife and to all her sons and daughters. 5 But to Hannah he gave a double portion, because he loved her, though the Lord had closed her womb. 6 And her rival used to provoke her grievously to irritate her, because the Lord had closed her womb. 7 So it went on year by year. As often as she went up to the house of the Lord, she used to provoke her. Therefore Hannah wept and would not eat. 8 And Elkanah, her husband, said to her, “Hannah, why do you weep? And why do you not eat? And why is your heart sad? Am I not more to you than ten sons?”

9 After they had eaten and drunk in Shiloh, Hannah rose. Now Eli the priest was sitting on the seat beside the doorpost of the temple of the Lord. 10 She was deeply distressed and prayed to the Lord and wept bitterly. 11 And she vowed a vow and said, “O Lord of hosts, if you will indeed look on the affliction of your servant and remember me and not forget your servant, but will give to your servant a son, then I will give him to the Lord all the days of his life, and no razor shall touch his head.”

12 As she continued praying before the Lord, Eli observed her mouth. 13 Hannah was speaking in her heart; only her lips moved, and her voice was not heard. Therefore Eli took her to be a drunken woman. 14 And Eli said to her, “How long will you go on being drunk? Put your wine away from you.” 15 But Hannah answered, “No, my lord, I am a woman troubled in spirit. I have drunk neither wine nor strong drink, but I have been pouring out my soul before the Lord. 16 Do not regard your servant as a worthless woman, for all along I have been speaking out of my great anxiety and vexation.” 17 Then Eli answered, “Go in peace, and the God of Israel grant your petition that you have made to him.” 18 And she said, “Let your servant find favor in your eyes.” Then the woman went her way and ate, and her face was no longer sad.

19 They rose early in the morning and worshiped before the Lord; then they went back to their house at Ramah. And Elkanah knew Hannah his wife, and the Lord remembered her. 20 And in due time Hannah conceived and bore a son, and she called his name Samuel, for she said, “I have asked for him from the Lord.”

21 The man Elkanah and all his house went up to offer to the Lord the yearly sacrifice and to pay his vow. 22 But Hannah did not go up, for she said to her husband, “As soon as the child is weaned, I will bring him, so that he may appear in the presence of the Lord and dwell there forever.” 23 Elkanah her husband said to her, “Do what seems best to you; wait until you have weaned him; only, may the Lord establish his word.” So the woman remained and nursed her son until she weaned him. 24 And when she had weaned him, she took him up with her, along with a three-year-old bull, an ephah of flour, and a skin of wine, and she brought him to the house of the Lord at Shiloh. And the child was young. 25 Then they slaughtered the bull, and they brought the child to Eli. 26 And she said, “Oh, my lord! As you live, my lord, I am the woman who was standing here in your presence, praying to the Lord. 27 For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted me my petition that I made to him. 28 Therefore I have lent him to the Lord. As long as he lives, he is lent to the Lord.” And he worshiped the Lord there.

2:1 And Hannah prayed and said,

“My heart exults in the Lord;
my strength is exalted in the Lord.
My mouth derides my enemies,
because I rejoice in your salvation.
2 “There is none holy like the Lord;
there is none besides you;
there is no rock like our God.
3 Talk no more so very proudly,
let not arrogance come from your mouth;
for the Lord is a God of knowledge,
and by him actions are weighed.
4 The bows of the mighty are broken,
but the feeble bind on strength.
5 Those who were full have hired themselves out for bread,
but those who were hungry have ceased to hunger.
The barren has borne seven,
but she who has many children is forlorn.
6 The Lord kills and brings to life;
he brings down to Sheol and raises up.
7 The Lord makes poor and makes rich;
he brings low and he exalts.
8 He raises up the poor from the dust;
he lifts the needy from the ash heap
to make them sit with princesand inherit a seat of honor.
For the pillars of the earth are the Lord's,
and on them he has set the world.
9 “He will guard the feet of his faithful ones,
but the wicked shall be cut off in darkness,
for not by might shall a man prevail.
10 The adversaries of the Lord shall be broken to pieces;
against them he will thunder in heaven.
The Lord will judge the ends of the earth;
he will give strength to his kingand exalt the power of his anointed.”

11 Then Elkanah went home to Ramah. And the boy ministered to the Lord in the presence of Eli the priest.

Shots and Scripture

When I was a kid, I hated getting shots. I don’t love getting shots now, but back then I was terrified of the needle. One time, I was in the doctor’s office with my dad and the doctor told me I needed to get a shot. I cried. From my view as a child, I could not grasp what good could come out of purposely poking me with a needle. My dad and doctor knew better. I needed the shot so that I would not get sick. It was in my best interest. The slight and momentary pain of the needle paled in comparison to the serious illness I could avoid by taking the shot. My dad knew this and he loved me, so he told the doctor I would take the shot. Empathizing with my fear, my dad asked the doctor to inject him with an empty syringe to show me that I would be okay. In my young mind, this was the ultimate sacrifice—my dad willingly underwent the pain of a needle piercing through his skin for the sole reason of helping me go through it. Seeing my dad do this encouraged and empowered me to sit still for the shot.

While I am no longer afraid of shots, this experience with my dad still comes to mind frequently as a way of understanding suffering in my life today. My Loving Heavenly Father, graciously brings suffering into my life for my good. Similar to my thoughts as a child, I often still have that feeling of only seeing the short-term pain in suffering and not understanding the long-term good that comes to me through suffering. Yet, my God promises in His Word that ALL THINGS work for my good, even suffering. Furthermore, just like my earthly father willingly subjected himself to a painful needle as an example to me, Jesus Christ willingly subjected Himself to a life of suffering, serving as an example to me! Unlike my earthly father, Jesus lived a sinless perfect life. My perfect God humbled Himself to not only save me from the death I deserved, but also to serve as my perfect example of how to live life in righteousness. What scandalous and empowering love is this! I love how the book of Hebrews puts this:

Hebrews 2

Now in putting everything in subjection to him, he left nothing outside his control. At present, we do not yet see everything in subjection to him. 9 But we see him who for a little while was made lower than the angels, namely Jesus, crowned with glory and honor because of the suffering of death, so that by the grace of God he might taste death for everyone. 10 For it was fitting that he, for whom and by whom all things exist, in bringing many sons to glory, should make the founder of their salvation perfect through suffering. 11 For he who sanctifies and those who are sanctified all have one source. That is why he is not ashamed to call them brothers, 12 saying,“I will tell of your name to my brothers;in the midst of the congregation I will sing your praise.”
13 And again, “I will put my trust in him.” And again, “Behold, I and the children God has given me.” 14 Since therefore the children share in flesh and blood, he himself likewise partook of the same things, that through death he might destroy the one who has the power of death, that is, the devil, 15 and deliver all those who through fear of death were subject to lifelong slavery. 16 For surely it is not angels that he helps, but he helps the offspring of Abraham. 17 Therefore he had to be made like his brothers in every respect, so that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in the service of God, to make propitiation for the sins of the people. 18 For because he himself has suffered when tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted.

Hebrews 4

14 Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. 15 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. 16 Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

A Rough Year, Praise Be to God!

It has been a rough year for many reasons—a deployed brother-in-law, health scare, loved ones in major crisis, abandoned and betrayed by friends, falsely accused, infertile, financial trouble, broken dreams, living one month apart from my husband while he labors 12-14 hour grueling days 7 days/week out of state, etc. I often hear people say “everything happens for a reason”. That in itself is not a comforting thought to me. Who cares if my suffering is for any old reason? What would make it all worth it? On the other hand, I find great comfort in this:

Romans 8:18-30 For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. 19 For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. 20 For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope 21 that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. 22 For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. 23 And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. 24 For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? 25 But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience. 26 Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. 27 And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. 28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. 29 For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. 30 And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified.

From this passage I get the following:

1) There is hope! This life is not all that there is. There is something worthwhile that cannot even compare to suffering in this life.

2) God is in control. God is the one who subjected creation to futility (and me to suffering), all with a plan! God’s plan is glorious redemption! Nothing in life is out of His control and none of it is a surprise to Him. All of it is part of His plan.

3) Just as the pain of childbirth produces the joy of a new priceless life, suffering produces something glorious—fullness of relationship with God and freedom and redemption from corruption and from our fallen bodies (the frailties of our bodies, our inclinations toward sin, the effects of being sinned against, and the effects of living in a fallen world). The pain now pales in comparison to the joy that is to come

4) God does not leave us to suffer alone. Through the Holy Spirit, He walks with us and equips us! We have the firstfruits of the Spirit. We have a shadow of what is to come through the Spirit’s work that bears fruit in our lives. We have supernatural power to endure and persevere in the meantime. Even in our weakness, even when we don’t even know what to say, God the Spirit Himself is our advocate—He speaks for us! The Word of God is our guide, and Jesus is our perfect example of how to endure suffering.

5) ALL THINGS work together for the good of those who love God!! This means there is not one thing in my life or in this world that I must endure that is not for my own good or that is outside the hand of God! My suffering is not just for some abstract, impersonal, vague, purpose; it is for my good! My suffering is God’s best for me.

6) My good is linked to being conformed to the image of Jesus. All things, even my suffering, are tools to conform me into the image of Jesus. Being conformed to Jesus is true freedom!

7) I get to belong to the family of God! God is my Father. Jesus is my brother, and He suffered more than I ever will. Although I am not fit to carry His sandal, He is working in me and on me to be like Him. He has made me part of His family.

8) God is in control from beginning to end. My suffering and circumstances are no surprise to God. He is the God who chose me, called me, justified me, and will bring me into glory with Him!

Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you that you are sovereign AND good. Thank you that those aren’t just spiritual sounding words, but they are true comfort in the midst of real suffering. You are our hope always, even when circumstances are bleak. Thank you for the portion you have chosen for me—even though that portion is painful and unbearable at times. Thank you that you do not leave me alone as an orphan, but you chose me to be part of your family despite my betrayal against you through my sin. Thank you that you redeem me from sin and cleanse me from unrighteousness. Thank you that Jesus death ransomed me from death to life. Thank you that you give me a perfect example in Jesus of how to live my life even as I walk through suffering, knowing I will never suffer as much as my Savior suffered in this lifetime and yet He did it perfectly. Thank you that I am not alone—you suffer with me and grieve with me. Thank you that the Holy Spirit gives me supernatural power to endure, persevere, and walk in righteousness! Thank you that you are completely in control as author and perfector. Thank you that you are in complete control from beginning to end. Nothing is too hard for you. Nothing happens apart from your will. Thank you that you are a Gracious Kind Loving God who works all things to my good. I don’t deserve it, but I praise you for your goodness. I praise you for hope! In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Getting Fed

This morning, I joined a discipleship class where we studied God’s Word—specifically the Great Commission. Though I have read it many times before, I learned so many new things (thanks to the Holy Spirit and the skilled teaching of our pastor, Scott Golike). The same was true as I listened to his Scripture-rich sermon today on Revelation 2:12-1. http://www.gracepugetsound.com/sermons (It is definitely worth a listen and re-listen) As I listened to these teachings today and pondered what Scripture revealed about God, His character, and what He has done for us, I tasted God’s glory! My heart was filled with overwhelming and indescribable joy. As we worshiped together by singing in church, I sang as an expression of my delight in God, and yet the more I sang, the more delight was produced in my heart. The more I tasted of God’s glory, the more empowered and energized I felt to do His work. It never gets old.

Is it just me, or isn’t this amazing? I have been a Christian for 20 years. That is not a long time to some people, but that is 2/3 of my life! No matter how much I read it, God’s Word never gets old. There is always something new and exciting to see. No matter how much God transforms me, there is always more to change in me. No matter how many songs I sing to Him, there are more reasons to sing and there is more joy in the singing. No matter how much I begin to comprehend, there is always so much I don’t know. I never come to a place where I have “arrived”. I never stop needing the Bible, prayer, faithful preaching, corporate worship, sincere and loving fellowship with brothers and sisters in Christ, the reminders that come to my heart as I partake in communion (of my depravity, Jesus’ goodness, my need for Jesus, my gratefulness for Jesus), etc. Most Christians would say we believe that we never grow beyond needing to be fed by Jesus, yet how does this get reflected in our lives?

No matter what ministry and service I may be called to do, I pray that I would never forget that I am needy. I need to go to the Lord to receive my manna for the day. I cannot rely on yesterday’s portion. I cannot neglect to take my portion from Him, not even in the interest of helping others to get fed. Don’t get me wrong--He certainly calls me to diligently and lovingly serve others. But He wants my heart first, and He wants my acts of service to flow from a sincere heart of worship (love for, adoration of, praise of, trust in, joy in, commitment to Him). A sincere heart of worship comes from being fed by God. It does not honor God when I neglect my need for Him in the interest of serving others. I am not indispensable to His mission. God does not need me to reach others—God does not need! Rather, God graciously gives me the privilege and joy of participating with Him in ministry. I miss the point if I neglect or minimize my need of Him. Moreover, I am ultimately ineffective and even harmful in serving others without first seeking to be filled with Him continually. (Maybe it is a little like how they always tell you in airplanes to put your oxygen mask on first before helping others--even your kids!)

I love this insight from page 9-10 of the book, Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World, by Joanne Weaver (Westbrook Press, 2000):

The Living Room Intimacy Mary enjoyed with Jesus will never come out of the busyness of Martha’s Kitchen. Busyness, by itself, breeds distraction. Luke 10:38 shows us a woman with the gift of hospitality. Martha opened her home to Jesus, but that does not automatically mean she opened her heart. In her eagerness to serve Jesus, she almost missed the opportunity to know Jesus.

Luke tells us that “Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made.” Key word: had. In Martha’s mind, nothing less than the very best would do. She had to go all out for Jesus.

We can get caught in the same performance trap, feeling as though we must prove our love for God by doing great things for him. So we rush past the intimacy of the Living Room to get busy for him in the Kitchen—implementing great ministries and wonderful projects, all in an effort to spread the good news. We do all our works in his name. We call him, “Lord, Lord.” But in the end, will he know us? Will we know him?

The kingdom of God, you see, is a paradox. While the world applauds achievement, God desires companionship. The world clamors, “Do more! Be all that you can be!” But our Father whispers, “Be still and know that I am God.” He isn’t looking as much for workers as he is looking for sons and daughters—a people to pour his life into.

Because we are his children, Kitchen Service will be the natural result of Living Room Intimacy with God. Like Jesus, we must be about our Father’s business. The closer we draw to the heart of the Father, the more we see his heart for the world. And so we serve, we minister, and we love, knowing that when we do it to “the least of these,” we have done it unto Christ.

Let us feast on the Bread of Life!

John 6:25-59 When they found him on the other side of the sea, they said to him, “Rabbi, when did you come here?” 26 Jesus answered them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, you are seeking me, not because you saw signs, but because you ate your fill of the loaves. 27 Do not labor for the food that perishes, but for the food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give to you. For on him God the Father has set his seal.” 28 Then they said to him, “What must we do, to be doing the works of God?” 29 Jesus answered them, “This is the work of God, that you believe in him whom he has sent.” 30 So they said to him, “Then what sign do you do, that we may see and believe you? What work do you perform? 31 Our fathers ate the manna in the wilderness; as it is written, ‘He gave them bread from heaven to eat.’” 32 Jesus then said to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, it was not Moses who gave you the bread from heaven, but my Father gives you the true bread from heaven. 33 For the bread of God is he who comes down from heaven and gives life to the world.” 34 They said to him, “Sir, give us this bread always.”

35 Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst. 36 But I said to you that you have seen me and yet do not believe. 37 All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never cast out. 38 For I have come down from heaven, not to do my own will but the will of him who sent me. 39 And this is the will of him who sent me, that I should lose nothing of all that he has given me, but raise it up on the last day. 40 For this is the will of my Father, that everyone who looks on the Son and believes in him should have eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day.”

41 So the Jews grumbled about him, because he said, “I am the bread that came down from heaven.” 42 They said, “Is not this Jesus, the son of Joseph, whose father and mother we know? How does he now say, ‘I have come down from heaven’?” 43 Jesus answered them, “Do not grumble among yourselves. 44 No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws him. And I will raise him up on the last day. 45 It is written in the Prophets, ‘And they will all be taught by God.’ Everyone who has heard and learned from the Father comes to me— 46 not that anyone has seen the Father except he who is from God; he has seen the Father. 47 Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever believes has eternal life. 48 I am the bread of life. 49 Your fathers ate the manna in the wilderness, and they died. 50 This is the bread that comes down from heaven, so that one may eat of it and not die. 51 I am the living bread that came down from heaven. If anyone eats of this bread, he will live forever. And the bread that I will give for the life of the world is my flesh.”

52 The Jews then disputed among themselves, saying, “How can this man give us his flesh to eat?” 53 So Jesus said to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you. 54 Whoever feeds on my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day. 55 For my flesh is true food, and my blood is true drink. 56 Whoever feeds on my flesh and drinks my blood abides in me, and I in him. 57 As the living Father sent me, and I live because of the Father, so whoever feeds on me, he also will live because of me. 58 This is the bread that came down from heaven, not like the bread the fathers ate and died. Whoever feeds on this bread will live forever.” 59 Jesus said these things in the synagogue, as he taught at Capernaum.

Body Life

Last night, I went to an Infertility Prayer group meeting put on by ladies at our church. There was a woman whose children are grown and whose daughter is experiencing infertility. There was a woman who has never experienced infertility and who has 3 kids of her own. There was a woman who had trouble conceiving before getting pregnant with her son who is now a toddler. There was a woman who is currently experiencing infertility of her own. My husband and I have been experiencing infertility for 3-4 years now.

Three of the five women were not going through infertility themselves. The woman who graciously organized and hosted this event is not currently going through infertility herself. I felt so loved, particularly because there were women who are not currently experiencing infertility who took the time to pray and weep with those of us who are going through it. It was healing and redemptive to be reached out to in this way. I felt like a part of the body of Christ. Romans 12:15 came to my mind: “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.”

How often do we do that? How often in our joy can we remember and participate with those who are weeping? How often in our weeping can we remember and participate with those who are rejoicing? Yet this is the way that Scripture calls us to view our brothers and sisters in Christ. We are invested in each other. We are individuals that collectively comprise the body of Christ!

1 Cor 12:12-27 For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ. 13 For in one Spirit we were all baptized into one body—Jews or Greeks, slaves or free—and all were made to drink of one Spirit. 14 For the body does not consist of one member but of many. 15 If the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” that would not make it any less a part of the body. 16 And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” that would not make it any less a part of the body. 17 If the whole body were an eye, where would be the sense of hearing? If the whole body were an ear, where would be the sense of smell? 18 But as it is, God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as he chose. 19 If all were a single member, where would the body be? 20 As it is, there are many parts, yet one body. 21 The eye cannot say to the hand, “I have no need of you,” nor again the head to the feet, “I have no need of you.” 22 On the contrary, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, 23 and on those parts of the body that we think less honorable we bestow the greater honor, and our unpresentable parts are treated with greater modesty, 24 which our more presentable parts do not require. But God has so composed the body, giving greater honor to the part that lacked it, 25 that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. 26 If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together. 27 Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it. As one body in Christ, my brothers and sisters and I are parts of each other.

If we really viewed one another as part of the same body, we would feel the joys and sorrows of other parts of our body. This perspective would cause us to rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn because in one body “if one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.”

This “one body” is not just any “body,” it is the body of our Beloved Lord...we are the body of our Beloved Lord! I can just imagine how much Jesus is glorified by the servant love of these women who took the time to look around in the body of Christ to which they belong to see where other members of that body might be hurting. I wonder if they realized that they were ministering to Christ Himself.

Matthew 25:31-40 “When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit on his glorious throne. 32 Before him will be gathered all the nations, and he will separate people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. 33 And he will place the sheep on his right, but the goats on the left. 34 Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. 35 For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, 36 I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’ 37 Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? 38 And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? 39 And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ 40 And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’

This passage tells us that when a member of the body of Christ is served, Christ Himself is served! One way I can see how this works is through marriage. My husband Kristian is away in Alaska for a month on business. Family and friends have reached out to me in this time—inviting me out, mowing our lawn, feeding the fish (because I don’t like touching the bloodworms that the fish likes to eat:)), taking out the trash, checking up on me, and doing all sorts of thoughtful and kind things for me. When I talk to Kristian on the phone, I tell him about these things. He feels loved. These acts of service are directed at me. Kristian is not here to get the direct benefit of these acts of service. However, I am his bride. We are one. Kristian is invested in my well-being. Kristian is honored, loved, and esteemed when our family and friends take care of me, his bride. While this is not a perfect analogy, in a similar way, I belong to Christ. I am His bride, and He is invested in my well being. When someone blesses me, Christ is being honored because I am His!

May I learn to love my brothers and sisters in Christ because I am one with them in Christ and because loving them is loving my Beloved Lord!

Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you that I am your bride and a part of your body. Wow, what a privilege! I know I don’t deserve this. Thank you that I get to be one with you because you gave your precious Son who to die for my sin. Thank you, Jesus for your willing sacrifice. Thank you that you love me as your own body! Thank you for these women who took the time to love me and other women in the body who are going through infertility. Please help me to look around at other parts of your body and to love them with sincere love. May I live as if we were all together one body in you! Help me to see the need around me and help me to serve in love. May their pain be mine and their joy be mine. Help me to love and serve them earnestly and wholeheartedly because in loving and serving them, I am loving and serving you! In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Heartbreak

I was 25 years old when I went on my first date ever… and the boy ended up being my first and last boyfriend, Kristian (who is my husband now). While I have experienced the loneliness of singleness, I have never experienced the heartache of breaking up. However, I am realizing that all love involves heartbreak. True love sacrifices self. It involves reaching out and facing rejection. It involves speaking the truth with the possibility of being shunned. It involves being vulnerable and exposed with the possibility of being ridiculed or just ignored. Just as all of us hurt and disappoint the people we love, we are also experience that hurt and disappointment. Anyone who loves knows heartbreak. Yet, this is exactly what God calls us to.

John 15:12 & 13
“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.”

Isaiah 53
Who has believed what he has heard from us? And to whom has the arm of the Lord been revealed?2 For he grew up before him like a young plant,and like a root out of dry ground; he had no form or majesty that we should look at him,and no beauty that we should desire him.

3 He was despised and rejected by men;a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief;and as one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

4 Surely he has borne our griefsand carried our sorrows;yet we esteemed him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted.5 But he was wounded for our transgressions;he was crushed for our iniquities;upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace,and with his stripes we are healed.6 All we like sheep have gone astray;we have turned—every one—to his own way;and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all.

7 He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth;like a lamb that is led to the slaughter, and like a sheep that before its shearers is silent,so he opened not his mouth.8 By oppression and judgment he was taken away; and as for his generation, who considered that he was cut off out of the land of the living, stricken for the transgression of my people?9 And they made his grave with the wicked and with a rich man in his death, although he had done no violence, and there was no deceit in his mouth.

10 Yet it was the will of the Lord to crush him; he has put him to grief; when his soul makes an offering for guilt, he shall see his offspring; he shall prolong his days;the will of the Lord shall prosper in his hand.11 Out of the anguish of his soul he shall see and be satisfied; by his knowledge shall the righteous one, my servant, make many to be accounted righteous, and he shall bear their iniquities.12 Therefore I will divide him a portion with the many, and he shall divide the spoil with the strong, because he poured out his soul to death and was numbered with the transgressors; yet he bore the sin of many, and makes intercession for the transgressors.

Christian Marriage

I’m feeling a little nostalgic as I am sitting at home on the couch with a fever (forgive me if there are many typos and weird sentences in this post). I just watched the movie, “the Notebook”. It is one of the only romantic dramas that Kristian likes. The reason he likes it is because of the loyalty and devotion that the main couple shares for each other (albeit imperfectly), and how that loyalty and devotion perserveres through difficulty and old age.

Kristian is the most loyal and devoted person I have ever met. I have always loved that about him. I know he will always love me, not perfectly, but he always will—through good and bad times—always. As Kristian grows in Christ daily, his love for me becomes more and more Christ-like in such beautiful ways. He loves me in ways that are sacrificial and cost him something. He loves me in ways that are for my good, even when I don't always enjoy what that entails. He loves me in ways that are extravagant so that I can see that he loves me and so that I can experience joy. He loves me as his chosen bride. He seeks relationship with me by getting to know me more and more and by opening up to me. He seeks relationship with me by being quick to reconcile when we are fighting. I am a very blessed woman. I love that he wants our marriage to reflect our first love--God Himself. We both want our marriage to reflect the gospel, so that we would know God more and more and so that we would reflect God’s image (to each other and to others). I desperately pray to God to grow me in Christ-like love for Kristian. I want my motive in that to be God’s glory, Kristian’s joy, and my joy in those things! I miss Kristian a lot right now since we are apart for several weeks due to his work. I pray that this would be a time to grow in Christ-like love. This is the verse that I want to characterize my love for Kristian:

Phil 2:1-11 If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 2then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. 3Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

5Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:

6Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
7but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
8And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death—
even death on a cross!

9Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, 10that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

Practicing for Heaven

What do reading my Bible, praying to God, and laughing/singing/dancing at a good party have in common? Give up? They all fill my heart with God! I know, you might think the party part to be strange, but it is true! Just this past weekend, I went to a wedding along with some of my closest friends—my sister, 3 cousins and their spouses/significant others. We had such a fun time. My voice has been kind of sore all week from laughing so hard and from singing over the lively music. Even though I have no rhythm at all, I so enjoyed dancing with these loved ones. Several times that night, I smiled as I thought of what heaven must be like as we will get to rejoice with the fullest of joy in the presence of our Almighty God! Surely, my heart will just burst then with song, dance, and every expression of joy before our Glorious God in the presence of the family of Christ. I praise God for giving me a taste of that joy in this life!

Psalm 149:2-4

2 Let Israel rejoice in their Maker;

let the people of Zion be glad in their King.
3 Let them praise his name with dancing

and make music to him with tambourine and harp.
4 For the LORD takes delight in his people;

he crowns the humble with salvation.

Nehemiah 8:5-10
5 Ezra opened the book. All the people could see him because he was standing above them; and as he opened it, the people all stood up. 6 Ezra praised the LORD, the great God; and all the people lifted their hands and responded, "Amen! Amen!" Then they bowed down and worshiped the LORD with their faces to the ground. 7 The Levites—Jeshua, Bani, Sherebiah, Jamin, Akkub, Shabbethai, Hodiah, Maaseiah, Kelita, Azariah, Jozabad, Hanan and Pelaiah—instructed the people in the Law while the people were standing there. 8 They read from the Book of the Law of God, making it clear and giving the meaning so that the people could understand what was being read. 9 Then Nehemiah the governor, Ezra the priest and scribe, and the Levites who were instructing the people said to them all, "This day is sacred to the LORD your God. Do not mourn or weep." For all the people had been weeping as they listened to the words of the Law. 10 Nehemiah said, "Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is sacred to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength."

Revelation 19:4-8

4The twenty-four elders and the four living creatures fell down and worshiped God, who was seated on the throne. And they cried: "Amen, Hallelujah!" 5Then a voice came from the throne, saying: "Praise our God, all you his servants, you who fear him, both small and great!" 6Then I heard what sounded like a great multitude, like the roar of rushing waters and like loud peals of thunder, shouting: "Hallelujah! For our Lord God Almighty reigns. 7Let us rejoice and be glad and give him glory! For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and his bride has made herself ready. 8Fine linen, bright and clean, was given her to wear." (Fine linen stands for the righteous acts of the saints.) 9Then the angel said to me, "Write: 'Blessed are those who are invited to the wedding supper of the Lamb!' " And he added, "These are the true words of God."

What is the Gospel Anyway?

The word “gospel” comes from the Greek word εὐαγγέλιον, euangelion (eu- "good", -aggello- "proclaim, tell) and it means good news or glad tidings.

Luke 2:8-12 And in the same region there were shepherds out in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. 9 And an angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were filled with fear. 10 And the angel said to them, “Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. 11 For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. 12 And this will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying in a manger.” 13 And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying, 14 “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace among those with whom he is pleased!”

From Luke 2, we know that the gospel has to do with Christ:

1) bringing joy to people
2) bringing glory to God
3) bringing peace to men with whom He is pleased (I want to add as a caveat here that we know he is only “pleased” with us through faith in Jesus and what Jesus did for us, not in our mere works apart from faith. We also know that our faith is not of ourselves but is a free gift of grace from Him. See, John 3:16; Ephesians 2: 8; Hebrews 11, etc.):

How does Christ bring joy to people, glory to God, and peace to men?

Here’s my attempt to summarize the gospel:

Our Trinitarian God is One God in three persons- Father, Son (Jesus) and Holy Spirit. God is perfect and is in eternal perfect loving community as Father, Son, and Spirit. God created man and woman in His image. Adam was the first man and Eve was the first woman. God was in relationship with them and they were in relationship with each other. In this, there was much joy for them and glory to God, who is the epitome of love and by whose character love is defined. Sin entered the world when Adam and Eve rebelled against God. Their sin destroyed the perfection of their community with God and each other. From then on, sin brought separation between human beings and our Righteous God, as evil does not dwell with our perfect God (Psalm 5). Sin also brought separation among human relationships, as sin defiles and begets more sin. Through Adam and Eve, all of humanity has inherited indwelling sin, making us sinful from our mothers' wombs. I am a sinner. The more I learn about God’s perfect goodness, the more I see how truly sinful I am in motive, thought, and deed, and how offensive my sin must be to God given how good He really is. God's just penalty for sin is death (Romans 6:23). The story sounds pretty bleak so far. Still, none of this happened apart from God's sovereign will. God's plan all along was to redeem. God the Father sent God the Son (Jesus) on a rescue mission. In love for His Father and for us, Jesus gave up His throne and humbled Himself to come to earth as a man so that He could live an exemplary sinless life and so that He could be the ultimate perfect sacrifice to satisfy the death penalty of sin on our behalf. Jesus died a horrific and cruel death for the ugliness of our sin. Jesus did this willingly in obedience to God the Father, enabled by God the Spirit. He did this to reconcile us to God, so that by faith in Jesus, we could enjoy relationship with Him (John 3:16). The Righteous One died for the unrighteous, so that we who made ourselves His enemies could be His friends through faith. This salvation is a free gift that we could never earn, and it is available to all who believe in Him. We demonstrate our faith in Him by confessing our sinfulness, acknowledging what He did for us, and living a life of trust in Him that leads to obedience to Him. Jesus’ death cleanses believers from the defilement of sin, so that there is no condemnation against us anymore! We are reconciled to God and we get to enjoy community with Him once more! Jesus gave access to the Holy Spirit for those who believe so that we could know God deeper and so that we could be gradually transformed by the Spirit from our sinful character into the character of Jesus. As we see God, His character, and His love, and as we are transformed into His image, we enjoy Him more and more and we have peace in Him. We have the joy of knowing that God is transforming us daily. We have joy as God allows us to participate in His work of loving others. God is glorified in His great expression of love, grace and mercy to us. God is glorified in the fact that justice has been done and sin has been paid for. God is glorified as we reflect His image in increasing measure. One day, our joy will be complete as we will get to enjoy relationship with Him eternally, no longer hindered by our sin and the effects of the fall. He will wipe away our every tear, and at the name of Jesus, every knee will bow and every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

Now that's good news!

The God Who Provides

Kristian has been in Dutch Harbor, Alaska for a week and a half now. I really miss him. I’m so proud of him. He has been working 12-14 hour days, 7 days per week in the cold on a fishing boat. He is battling a cold right now too. He hasn’t complained. He still has three weeks to go. While it is so hard to be apart, this has been a huge blessing from God. We have had some very unexpected financial blows in the last few months. Just when we did not know what we were going to do, God in his kindness provided this extra work for Kristian. Kristian told me today that everyday while he drives to his worksite, he passes a boat named “Jehovah Jireh”--the God who provides. And it fills him with gratitude and praise.

Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for your provision. Thank you that even as you bring challenging and difficult seasons into our lives, you use these times to show your surpassing faithfulness and goodness to us. Thank you that even if we were to lose everything--even our lives--it would be worth it because nothing compares to being in relationship with you! Thank you for your love! Thank you that you are completely sovereign and all things are in your control. Please be with Kristian as he is in Alaska. Please guide him, protect him, and bless him up there. Please encourage him. Please use this time to open his eyes more and more to your beauty and love. Please draw him deeper into dependence in you and love for you. Please make him a blessing and light to everyone he encounters up there. Please keep him healthy and strong, and bless the work of his hands—may his heart and actions honor you in all he does. Please make me faithful in working hard here at home out of love for you and him. Help me to be diligent, hard-working, productive and effective, and may my motive always be love. May our lives bless others and glorify you! We love you. In Jesus’ Sweet Name, Amen