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Thursday, October 16, 2008

Hope Deferred


Psalm 127 calls children “a heritage from the Lord” and “the fruit of the womb a reward.”

Psalm 128:3
says of the man who fears the Lord, “Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your sons will be like olive shoots around your table.”

I want to be a fruitful vine. I want to know the blessing of children. I want to teach my children to love the Lord with all their heart, soul and might as Deuteronomy 6 instructs.

But for many of us--for reasons we cannot understand--our Gracious, Loving, and Mighty God has closed our wombs. Each month, our hopes of welcoming and nurturing a new life into this world are exchanged for cramps and bleeding. We do not know when or whether we will be given the gift of children. We experience the pain and sickness that comes with the “hope deferred” that is described in Proverbs 13:12. We fight against sins like bitterness, anger, jealousy, and discontentment that rise up within us. Yet in Christ and through the Holy Spirit, God promises us a deeper joy and a name that is better than sons and daughters. God calls us to be fruitful in every season of life, whether or not we have the blessing of motherhood. He even empowers us to resist the temptations of sin that comes along with each of our trials.

Last year, I led a ministry for infertile women at our church. As part of this ministry, I took a deeper look at the story of Hannah in the book of 1 Samuel. This passage of Scripture has so much encouragement for women undergoing infertility (and really for anyone with any kind of hope deferred). Hannah experienced the pain of infertility. While Hannah’s infertility eventually ended with pregnancy, her story tells us that there is an even greater blessing than motherhood. Her painful journey brought her to a place of much joy. In my next couple blog posts, I plan to discuss this in greater detail. I pray that the Lord would reveal Himself to us as we read this passage of Scripture:

1 Samuel 1:1-28 and 1 Samuel 2:1-11

There was a certain man of Ramathaim-zophim of the hill country of Ephraim whose name was Elkanah the son of Jeroham, son of Elihu, son of Tohu, son of Zuph, an Ephrathite. 2 He had two wives. The name of the one was Hannah, and the name of the other, Peninnah. And Peninnah had children, but Hannah had no children.

3 Now this man used to go up year by year from his city to worship and to sacrifice to the Lord of hosts at Shiloh, where the two sons of Eli, Hophni and Phinehas, were priests of the Lord. 4 On the day when Elkanah sacrificed, he would give portions to Peninnah his wife and to all her sons and daughters. 5 But to Hannah he gave a double portion, because he loved her, though the Lord had closed her womb. 6 And her rival used to provoke her grievously to irritate her, because the Lord had closed her womb. 7 So it went on year by year. As often as she went up to the house of the Lord, she used to provoke her. Therefore Hannah wept and would not eat. 8 And Elkanah, her husband, said to her, “Hannah, why do you weep? And why do you not eat? And why is your heart sad? Am I not more to you than ten sons?”

9 After they had eaten and drunk in Shiloh, Hannah rose. Now Eli the priest was sitting on the seat beside the doorpost of the temple of the Lord. 10 She was deeply distressed and prayed to the Lord and wept bitterly. 11 And she vowed a vow and said, “O Lord of hosts, if you will indeed look on the affliction of your servant and remember me and not forget your servant, but will give to your servant a son, then I will give him to the Lord all the days of his life, and no razor shall touch his head.”

12 As she continued praying before the Lord, Eli observed her mouth. 13 Hannah was speaking in her heart; only her lips moved, and her voice was not heard. Therefore Eli took her to be a drunken woman. 14 And Eli said to her, “How long will you go on being drunk? Put your wine away from you.” 15 But Hannah answered, “No, my lord, I am a woman troubled in spirit. I have drunk neither wine nor strong drink, but I have been pouring out my soul before the Lord. 16 Do not regard your servant as a worthless woman, for all along I have been speaking out of my great anxiety and vexation.” 17 Then Eli answered, “Go in peace, and the God of Israel grant your petition that you have made to him.” 18 And she said, “Let your servant find favor in your eyes.” Then the woman went her way and ate, and her face was no longer sad.

19 They rose early in the morning and worshiped before the Lord; then they went back to their house at Ramah. And Elkanah knew Hannah his wife, and the Lord remembered her. 20 And in due time Hannah conceived and bore a son, and she called his name Samuel, for she said, “I have asked for him from the Lord.”

21 The man Elkanah and all his house went up to offer to the Lord the yearly sacrifice and to pay his vow. 22 But Hannah did not go up, for she said to her husband, “As soon as the child is weaned, I will bring him, so that he may appear in the presence of the Lord and dwell there forever.” 23 Elkanah her husband said to her, “Do what seems best to you; wait until you have weaned him; only, may the Lord establish his word.” So the woman remained and nursed her son until she weaned him. 24 And when she had weaned him, she took him up with her, along with a three-year-old bull, an ephah of flour, and a skin of wine, and she brought him to the house of the Lord at Shiloh. And the child was young. 25 Then they slaughtered the bull, and they brought the child to Eli. 26 And she said, “Oh, my lord! As you live, my lord, I am the woman who was standing here in your presence, praying to the Lord. 27 For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted me my petition that I made to him. 28 Therefore I have lent him to the Lord. As long as he lives, he is lent to the Lord.” And he worshiped the Lord there.

2:1 And Hannah prayed and said,

“My heart exults in the Lord;
my strength is exalted in the Lord.
My mouth derides my enemies,
because I rejoice in your salvation.
2 “There is none holy like the Lord;
there is none besides you;
there is no rock like our God.
3 Talk no more so very proudly,
let not arrogance come from your mouth;
for the Lord is a God of knowledge,
and by him actions are weighed.
4 The bows of the mighty are broken,
but the feeble bind on strength.
5 Those who were full have hired themselves out for bread,
but those who were hungry have ceased to hunger.
The barren has borne seven,
but she who has many children is forlorn.
6 The Lord kills and brings to life;
he brings down to Sheol and raises up.
7 The Lord makes poor and makes rich;
he brings low and he exalts.
8 He raises up the poor from the dust;
he lifts the needy from the ash heap
to make them sit with princesand inherit a seat of honor.
For the pillars of the earth are the Lord's,
and on them he has set the world.
9 “He will guard the feet of his faithful ones,
but the wicked shall be cut off in darkness,
for not by might shall a man prevail.
10 The adversaries of the Lord shall be broken to pieces;
against them he will thunder in heaven.
The Lord will judge the ends of the earth;
he will give strength to his kingand exalt the power of his anointed.”

11 Then Elkanah went home to Ramah. And the boy ministered to the Lord in the presence of Eli the priest.

2 comments:

Heather said...

Thank you for sharing this Bina! I appreciate it and know it will be a blessing to others struggling with IF. It is such an amazing example of trusting God in the midst of the junk, yet still being emotionally impacted by it. So often I think that I mistakenly think that if I am trusting God for a situation that I shouldn't be grieving. But that isn't true. Just look at Jesus in the garden. He obviously was trusting God, but was grieved to the point of sweating blood. I am praying for you!

The McFarlane Family said...

This part of scripture has been such a blessing to me as well. Thanks for sharing your heart!