Biblical Womahood

I am meditating on these Scriptures, particularly on what they say about what a godly woman should and should not look like:

Titus 2

2:1 But as for you, teach what accords with sound doctrine. 2 Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness. 3 Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, 4 and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. 6 Likewise, urge the younger men to be self-controlled. 7 Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, 8 and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us. 9 Slaves are to be submissive to their own masters in everything; they are to be well-pleasing, not argumentative, 10 not pilfering, but showing all good faith, so that in everything they may adorn the doctrine of God our Savior.

11 For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, 12 training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, 13 waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, 14 who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works.
15 Declare these things; exhort and rebuke with all authority. Let no one disregard you.

1 Timothy 5

5:1 Do not rebuke an older man but encourage him as you would a father, younger men as brothers, 2 older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, in all purity.


3 Honor widows who are truly widows. 4 But if a widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show godliness to their own household and to make some return to their parents, for this is pleasing in the sight of God. 5 She who is truly a widow, left all alone, has set her hope on God and continues in supplications and prayers night and day, 6 but she who is self-indulgent is dead even while she lives. 7 Command these things as well, so that they may be without reproach. 8 But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

9 Let a widow be enrolled if she is not less than sixty years of age, having been the wife of one husband. 10 and having a reputation for good works: if she has brought up children, has shown hospitality, has washed the feet of the saints, has cared for the afflicted, and has devoted herself to every good work. 11 But refuse to enroll younger widows, for when their passions draw them away from Christ, they desire to marry 12 and so incur condemnation for having abandoned their former faith. 13 Besides that, they learn to be idlers, going about from house to house, and not only idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying what they should not. 14 So I would have younger widows marry, bear children, manage their households, and give the adversary no occasion for slander. 15 For some have already strayed after Satan. 16 If any believing woman has relatives who are widows, let her care for them. Let the church not be burdened, so that it may care for those who are truly widows.

17 Let the elders who rule well be considered worthy of double honor, especially those who labor in preaching and teaching. 18 For the Scripture says, “You shall not muzzle an ox when it treads out the grain,” and, “The laborer deserves his wages.” 19 Do not admit a charge against an elder except on the evidence of two or three witnesses. 20 As for those who persist in sin, rebuke them in the presence of all, so that the rest may stand in fear. 21 In the presence of God and of Christ Jesus and of the elect angels I charge you to keep these rules without prejudging, doing nothing from partiality. 22 Do not be hasty in the laying on of hands, nor take part in the sins of others; keep yourself pure. 23 (No longer drink only water, but use a little wine for the sake of your stomach and your frequent ailments.) 24 The sins of some men are conspicuous, going before them to judgment, but the sins of others appear later. 25 So also good works are conspicuous, and even those that are not cannot remain hidden."

Girl Talk Blog

One of my favorite books is "Feminine Appeal: Seven Virtues of a Godly Wife and Mother" by Carolyn Mahaney. When I read it, it felt like Carolyn was my very own Titus 2 mentor. :)

I also really appreciate this blog by Carolyn Mahaney and her daughters:

http://www.girltalkhome.com/blog//

Today's post from the blog was so excellent, helpful, and convicting (the first part was especially helpful to me, as my husband is the farthest thing from lazy). Here it is:

A Homemaker’s Dilemma, Pt. 3

2009 at 1:40 pm by Carolyn Mahaney

Who does what in the home matters! God has given husbands and wives unique roles that he wants us to joyfully fulfill. This truth is under intense attack from our worldly culture. So we must carefully consider God's Word and strive to apply it in the nitty-gritty of daily life.

Of course there is not a one-size-fits-all method for application but there is one mandate for all. It will look different from home to home, but the principle is fixed.

We must seek to avoid two opposite errors:

Error #1: We expect our husband to be our helper.

Scripture is clear that the wife is to help the husband; he is not her assistant (Gen 2:18). The wife is the home manager (1 Tim 5:14); the husband does not share equally in this responsibility.

So how do we avoid this error?

As women, we must first cultivate a biblical conviction about our role in the home. Then, together with our husbands, we must ask some hard questions:

-Am I fulfilling my God-given role to manage my home?
-Do I think of myself (and therefore act) as my husband’s helper, or do I think of him as my assistant?
-Have I allowed laziness, selfishness or anxiety to become excuses for not fulfilling my role in the home?
-Do I take advantage of my husband’s servant’s attitude to the point where he has too much responsibility in the home?
-Does my husband’s help in the home hinder him from providing, leading, or serving in the ways that God has called him?
-What (if anything) needs to change so that I am fulfilling the role God has assigned to me?

These are hard questions about a hard job. But God is faithful to provide all the grace we need to fulfill the task to which He has called us.

We need God’s help to avoid the second error as well:

Error #2: We are resentful when our husband doesn’t help at all.

Laziness is never excusable. Because this is a blog for women, however, we won’t address the husband’s sin at length; but suffice it to say, Scripture has some rather scary things to say about the man (or woman) who does not work hard, or worse yet, a husband who refuses to provide for his family (Prov. 12:24, 27, 19:15, 1 Tim. 5:18).

If we honestly believe we our fulfilling our role as home manager, but our husband is lazy and unwilling to serve in the home when needed, what should we do? Here are a few cursory thoughts:

1. Stop looking at our husband. His laziness may be a genuine trial, but it should not be the determiner of our joy. If we are resentful or dissatisfied, that comes from the sin in our own hearts. It can reveal that we are not serving “as unto the Lord.” Our call to homemaking is from God and so is our reward. Because of this truth, we can have a joy in homemaking that is out of the reach of our husband’s behavior.

2. Look at our husband’s sin in light of the cross. The ground is level there. No matter the extent of our husband’s laziness, it pales in comparison to the sin we know that we have committed against God. As we look at the cross, where we have received extravagant mercy, we will desire to be merciful.

3. Consider if it is an opportunity to overlook. The 80/20 rule is helpful here.

4. Look for ways we can help our husband help. Maybe we simply have to humble ourselves and ask for help. We can’t expect our husband to always anticipate our needs. He may be happy to serve when graciously asked.

5. Look to others. If our husband is unresponsive to our appeals, it may be time to get help from a wise couple with a godly example of biblical roles in marriage.

6. Look to God in faith. Pray for God to change our husband’s heart. We can’t, no matter how hard we try. And even if there is no change, remember that God sees, He knows, and He himself has promised to be our Helper (Heb 13:6). What comfort and hope!

We leave you with these thoughts from Dorothy Patterson:

“I determined…to read through the Bible with a new purpose: to determine God’s message for me personally as a woman, a wife, and a mother….My life and goals and perspective were forever changed. In every single book of the Bible I found God’s word for me. That word was not always comforting; in fact, sometimes it was like a sword to my heart; but always I knew that it was authoritative and, if authoritative, true, regardless of culture, circumstances, or perceived relevance. I came to realize that God did not expect me to determine how to adapt His Word to my situation. Instead, He expected me to adapt myself to the consistently and clearly presented principles found in His Word. God did not expect me to interpret His principles in light of my gifts and intellect, but He admonished me “to be conformed to the likeness of His Son” (Romans 8:29), including gifts and intellect and creativity…He was making clear throughout Scripture His demand for my absolute obedience.” (Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood, p. 365)

Review of "Radical Womanhood: Feminine Faith in a Feminist World"

Like the fiery red stiletto on its front cover, Carolyn McCulley’s latest book, “Radical Womanhood: Feminine Faith in a Feminist Culture,” is provocative, bold, and powerfully feminine.

If you are like me, the term “radical” may conjure up an array of connotations from “political extremist” to “totally gnarly” in the 1980’s sense. However, McCulley’s use of the word “radical” as applied to Biblical womanhood is summed up fittingly by this line in her book:

To live according to Biblical principles today requires women to be bold enough to stand against philosophies and strongholds that seek to undermine God’s Word and His authority. (p. 29)

As McCulley suggests, the concept of what constitutes a “Biblical woman” in our day has been increasingly shaped by feminist thought rather than by the words of Scripture. Accordingly, McCulley asserts that truly living as a Biblical woman (by Scriptural standards) is radical because it stands in stark contrast to cultural and historical assumptions that are deeply embedded in many of us. Today, Biblical femininity is obscured by our culture, our own deceitful hearts, and even by churches. What does the Word of God say about this, and how did we get so lost? McCulley tackles these questions, armed with an arsenal of Scripture and an impressive amount of research. Interspersed through out the book are the compelling personal stories of real women who have sinned against God and others, been sinned against, and have experienced a redeemed view of what it means to be a Biblical woman.

McCulley begins her book with a personal account of her own experience as a non-Christian feminist and later as a young Christian. As she reflects, her beliefs about femininity were gradually transformed through reading God’s Word and receiving Bible teaching at her church. In this process, the Holy Spirit started to reveal to her concepts (such as “servant leadership” of husbands and “submission” of wives described in Ephesians 5) that contradicted her previously long-held views of masculinity and femininity. McCulley beautifully describes the fruit of this epiphany in her heart:

Slowly, it began to dawn on me that the Bible was not presenting just a new set of rules for successful relationships or for a peaceful life. It was presenting an entirely new game—with radically different goals for victory. Winning was living a life that glorified God. Winning was growing in humility. Winning was trusting God and serving others. Winning was cultivating the fruit of the Spirit—love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self control (Galatians 5:22-23). Winning was growing in Christlikeness.

All of my previous feminist philosophies resulted in merely kicking at the darkness, expecting it would bleed daylight. But Scripture says that it is by God’s light that we see light (Psalm 36:9). The light of God’s Word showed me truth. What I thought was right and true did not hold up to Scripture. Human observation and psychology only point out the problem—proud women spar with men they deem to be weaker and not worthy of respect—but offered no credible solution to the tension between the sexes. I didn’t need to reconcile my pantheon of inner goddesses, I needed to repent of my sin. (p. 26)

Refreshingly, this book is not about politics. Neither does McCulley cater to extra-Biblical legalisms that can characterize the concept of womanhood in some churches. (I love this quote from p. 29: “Biblical womanhood is not a one-size-fits all mold. It’s not about certain dress styles, Jane Austen movies, tea parties, quiet voices, and exploding floral patterns… or whatever stereotype you are picturing right now.”) McCulley concedes that feminism arose not merely out of the sinful rebellious desires of women, but also because of the sins of men:

Men do sin. They can diminish women’s accomplishments and limit women’s freedoms for selfish reasons. Some men sexually assault women. Some men abuse their wives and children. Many men degrade women through pornography. Feminism didn’t arise up because of fabricated offenses…it is understandable, humanly speaking, why this movement did emerge. (p. 26-27)

McCulley even expressly acknowledges that there have been some great strides to come out of the feminist movement in correcting serious inequities against women. Still, she asserts, that it is vital to understand the ways that feminism has negatively affected women. McCulley undertakes this by tracing historic landmarks in the development of modern feminist thought and the subtle and not-so-subtle ways that feminist theory has displaced a more Biblical understanding of what it means to be a woman in our society.

In Chapter 2, McCulley describes how “feminism came to identify men as the chief problem of women” (p. 31). To illustrate her point, McCulley delves into the lives and philosophies of three prominent feminists: Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Simone de Beauvoir, and Betty Friedan. McCulley then walks the reader through what Scripture says is the chief problem of women—sin. After reviewing Genesis 3, McCulley concludes:

Sin warps everything, including the good that God has designed in being a man or a woman. Women sin against men, and men sin against women, and everyone sins against God and falls short of His standard of holiness and perfection. Sin is the reason men have oppressed women and women have usurped men. Sin is the reason for the jealousy, selfish ambition, disorder and every vile practice that characterizes false wisdom. Sin is the reason we need a Savior…As a movement, feminism arose because women were being sinned against. I think that is a fair argument. But feminism also arose because women were sinning in response. That’s a classic human problem: Sinners tend to sin in response to being sinned against.

The glorious hope we have is that Christ came to rescue us from the spiral of sin and sinful response. Only the gospel can accurately diagnose the issues on both sides and offer both the good news of forgiveness for our sins and the restoration of our relationship first with God and then with each other. This is true liberation for women… and for men. (p. 46-47).

Next, McCulley guides the reader through different areas in which history and culture have warped a Biblical understanding of: headship and submission, being a “helpmate,” homemaking, and motherhood. One of my favorite descriptions in her book is in regard to a wife’s submission to her husband, which McCulley describes as being built on “the charge to live a life of love as an imitator of God” and she reminds us of the powerful truth that “submission is part of the divine character of the Trinity”. She then talks about the beauty of being a “helpmate” as Scripture calls wives to be to their husbands and how the beauty of this role has been obscured by cultural ideals that devalue humility and sacrificial love, both of which are qualities that are esteemed and commanded by Scripture. She next discusses what Scripture says about a woman’s responsibility to her home and traces the historical developments that have eroded our understanding of the significance of home life, to the extent that homemaking is now undervalued or even mocked in our society. Next, McCulley describes the effects of historical and cultural developments on motherhood, which has brought us to a place where children often do not get the care they need, where women find themselves juggling multiple (and often competing) roles in addition to motherhood, and where young mothers are often not adequately equipped by mentors before them.

After laying out these points, McCulley directs the reader to the logical effect of a culture that demeans the beautiful calling and essence of Biblical femininity. She calls this the “raunch culture rip-off” where women are more undervalued than ever and particularly where women have been damaged by the effects of this culture on their sexuality. In this chapter, she examines pop culture and history in the last few decades, which instead of liberating women, has left women vulnerable to objectification and emotional and physical harm.

At this point, you might be wondering whether McCulley blames the distorted view of Biblical womanhood on “the world,” making this an “us” verses “them” scenario. She absolutely does not. I think this is clear throughout her book, but it is particularly clear in the final chapter. In this chapter, McCulley traces historical developments within the church to help assess how churches have come to redefine the clear teaching of Scripture about sexuality and gender roles:

There are, at least in my opinion, at least three reasons for this controversy. One is that, within the church, we have forgotten that the role of leaders is “to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the Body of Christ (Ephesians 4:12). We have become consumers within the church, requiring professional service of pastors to serve us—rather than becoming a mobilized body of servants to care for each other and those outside of the church. When the church is operating biblically, everyone is needed for the purpose of ministry, not just the “professional class”. Another reason is our celebrity culture: whoever is in the position of speaking publicly is deemed to have more worth than the one who is serving quietly behind the scenes—the opposite of what Jesus taught (Matthew 20:25-27). So if there is any restriction in the public role, it is seen as inherently wrong because everyone ought to be able to have a shot at it, even if the Bible makes it clear that only a few are gifted and qualified to lead the church (1 Timothy 3). The third reason is the influence of feminism on church life and theology, which is the focus of this chapter (chapter 8). (p. 188)

While “Radical Womanhood” was written for women by the author’s own account, it would still be a fascinating and helpful read for anyone with an interest in feminist history in general, or for anyone who is interested in how feminism has affected the church. However, Christian women will be particularly served in reading this book. The book demonstrates how feminist thinking has pervaded the way we view ourselves, the world, and even Scripture itself—and none of us are immune to this. McCulley’s book reasons with us, lovingly calling us back to the glorious truths articulated in God’s perfect Word.

The book is available for purchase here:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0802450849/carolynmccull-20#

Carolyn McCulley’s blog is available here:
http://solofemininity.blogs.com/

Men and Women in the Family of God

Our pastor, Scott Golike, preached a very helpful sermon today. It was part II of his sermon on "Men and Women in the Family of God". For me, it helped to clear up some confusion I have had about 1 Timothy 2:8-14 and the role of Biblical manhood and womanhood. It helped me recognize some inaccurate beliefs I have had and some inaccurate teachings I have heard that do not actually fit with what the text is saying.

Here is the mp3 from part 2: http://www.gracepugetsound.com/sermons/Golike5-31-09.mp3

Here is the mp3 from part 1: http://www.gracepugetsound.com/sermons/Golike5-24-09.mp3

Here is an index of the 1 Timothy series as well as links to the other sermons in this series:

http://www.gracepugetsound.com/sermons

1 Timothy 2:8-14

This passage of Scripture has always been hard for me to understand:

1 Timothy 2:8-15 "I desire then that in every place the men should pray, lifting holy hands without anger or quarreling; 9 likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, 10 but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works. 11 Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness. 12 I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet. 13 For Adam was formed first, then Eve; 14 and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor. 15 Yet she will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith and love and holiness, with self-control."

Our pastor, Scott Golike, preached a sermon on this passage of Scripture yesterday, and it was extremely helpful to me.

http://www.gracepugetsound.com/sermons/Golike5-24-09.mp3

I even love the title of it: "Men and Women in the Family of God".

A Woman's Beauty

Audrey Hepburn’s Beauty Tips (from a poem by Sam Levinson)

For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.

For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.

For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.

For beautiful hair, let a child run his or her fingers through it once a day.

For poise, walk with the knowledge you'll never walk alone.

People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; Never throw out anybody.

Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm.

As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.

Proverbs 31:30 “Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”

1 Peter 3:1-6 “Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct. 3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— 4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. 5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.”

1 Timothy 2:8-10 “I desire then that in every place the men should pray, lifting holy hands without anger or quarreling; 9 likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, 10 but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works.”

Remembering God's Faithfulness

My friend Dwayne is blogging through the book “Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood” along with Mark Tubbs from http://www.discerningreader.com/. I am following along with the blog and reading the book. You can follow the blog here: http://4handsclapping.com/blog/rbmw/

You can read the free PDF of the book here: http://www.cbmw.org/Recovering-Biblical-Manhood-and-Womanhood/

I read this in chapter 1 of the book today (which was written by John Piper):

“Commending Biblical truth involves more than saying, ‘Do it because the Bible
says so.’ That sort of commendation may result in a kind of obedience that is so
begrudging and so empty of delight and hearty affirmation that the Lord is not pleased
with it at all.

So there is a second task needed in winning people over to a vision of manhood and
womanhood. Not only must there be thorough exegesis, there must also be a portrayal of
the vision that satisfies the heart as well as the head. Or to put it another way: we must
commend the beauty as well as the truth of the vision. We must show that something is
not only right but also good. It is not only valid but also valuable, not only accurate but
also admirable.

This chapter is meant to fit mainly into the second category. Not merely, but mainly.
It is designed to show that our vision of manhood and womanhood is a deeply satisfying
gift of grace from a loving God who has the best interests of his creatures at heart. The
vision is not onerous or oppressive. It does not promote pride or self-exaltation. It
conforms to who we are by God’s good design. Therefore it is fulfilling in the deepest
sense of that word.”

This fittingly describes the process that has gone on in my heart in recent years. I went from believing that what the Bible said about headship and submission was an irrelevant and outdated cultural construct to seeing the plain text of Scripture and begrudgingly “obeying” it. I sought out every opportunity to learn the practical aspects of what it meant to be a Biblical wife. As learned these characteristics and practical methods, I attempted to will myself to do these things--not understanding their rooting in the gospel. This resulted in a begrudged obedience. I was conceeding that I ought to do these things because the Bible told me I should, but I did not understand their purpose or relevance to the gospel. I was essentially living as a legalist. Since then, I have learned that “begrudging obedience” is no obedience at all. In other words, it did not honor God or bless my husband when I submitted to my husband with bitterness or when I served him with resentfulness. The fruit of this type of “obedience” was despair. The Holy Spirit had to do a work in my heart to weed out the deep rooted bitterness and to give me eyes to see the beauty of God’s design and to give me faith in God’s goodness in it.

Praise God, the Holy Spirit did this very work in me. This work utterly transformed my marriage. Our first couple years of marriage were very hard. They were mostly characterized by a battle of the wills rather than by loving, humble, sacrificial service. My husband and I both battled despair on so many levels. The book, “Father, Son, and Holy Spirit: Roles, Relationships, and Relevance” by Bruce Ware was one of the tools that the Lord used to open my eyes to what was in Scripture all along. I got to see that my God loves submission. I got to see that my God submits! Jesus Christ submits to the Father eternally. The Holy Spirit submits to the Father and the Son. The Father is the head of the Trinity. This is perfection! Headship and submission is not a result of the fall! The beauty of it all is that there is no bitterness or resentment within the Trinity—only perfect love. Something about this glorious truth clicked for me when I looked at marriage. I got to see that what we were privileged to live out in marriage was actually imaging God! The words of Ephesians 5 started to really hit me. Christ is the head of the church and He gave Himself up for her—that is the gospel. Marriage is a means of imaging the gospel! I began to see that not only marriage but Biblical manhood and womanhood are means of imaging God and the gospel as we live in the roles God created for through humble, loving, and sacrificial service to one another. I saw how loving and incredible it was that God would allow us to participate in His work like that and how He would allow us to image Him like that. This brought sacred meaning to both my marriage and to my femininity, and it enabled joyful obedience. I delight to participate in the work of my Father. I delight in His profound love that lives within the Trinity, overflows to me, and overflows from me.

By no means am I saying that I now have the perfect marriage or that I am now the perfect wife or woman—far from it. However, my foundation in these areas is now one of hope and joy rather than resentment and despair! God is moving in these areas of my life, and He is bearing fruit. When my husband and I have the opportunity to counsel couples, we are careful to remember that we must preach the gospel to them. It is not enough to tell them that a Biblical husband behaves in such and such ways. It is not enough to tell them that a Biblical wife behaves in such and such ways. We must show them how being a man, woman, husband, and wife relates to imaging God and the gospel. When Kristian and I hit a rough patch in marriage, we must preach the gospel to ourselves. God doesn’t want our begrudging obedience. He doesn’t want our superficial behaviors to change. He wants loving obedience to flow from changed hearts. How do we get changed hearts? We ask Him! We sit at His feet. We saturate ourselves with the gospel.

2 Cor 3:16-18 “But when one turns to the Lord, the veil is removed. 17 Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. 18 And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.”

"I Don't Like Wimpy Women!"

I have to confess that I pretty much hate working out (even though I am committed to it, as God has convicted me in recent years of my sin in not stewarding my health well). Today though, I actually ended up jogging longer on the treadmill than I ever have (don't ask me how long that was... it wasn't very long, but it was long for me). I credit God and John Piper for this accomplishment. I was so engrossed in listening on my iPod to an awesome sermon by John Piper that was delivered at the True Woman 2008 conference. In it, John Piper says among other things, "I don't like wimpy women!" (Uhh, I think I just confessed to being a wimp on the treadmill!)

His point is that Christian women ought to be strong in our theology, and consequently in our faith, in our love, in our endurance through trial, and in imaging the gospel of God's glorious grace!

His message inspired me in remembering the sacred meaning behind Christian womanhood and Christian marriage. But my favorite part was when Piper talked about the names that were "written before the foundation of the world in the book of life of the Lamb who was slain" that is mentioned in Revelation 13. Moved by this Scripture, Piper went on to say:

"Before anything existed but God, Christ was crucified for sin that didn't exist anywhere in the universe--that's amazing...that's not wimpy and it doesn't produce wimpy women. It is staggering to think that God was planning the death and slaughter--that's the word "slain"--the slaughter of His Son before the universe was made! Why? Here's the other text--this Ephesians 1:5-6: 'In love, He predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ unto the praise of the glory of His grace"... and there isn't anything on the other side of that design..like that's a means to anything, it isn't! When you arrive at the praise of the glory of the grace of God, you're home--that's it. There isn't anything beyond that. That is what the universe was made to do, to be. God was planning it such that the appex, the climax, the supreme expression of that grace would be the Son's purchase--at the cost of His life--of His wife, you and me."

Piper then beautifully connected (through Scripture) the gospel to marriage and to singlehood-- or rather, he connected marriage and singlehood to the gospel. This message left me freshly inspired and empowered to endeavor (by God's grace and through the Holy Spirit) to display the gospel to the world through Biblical Womanhood.

You can listen to or watch Piper's message here:

http://www.truewoman.com/?id=317

Elyse Fitzpatrick

Along with some lovely gals, I am currently attending the Elyse Fitzpatrick conference, "Women Discipling Women: Am I my Sister's Keeper?". Tonight was the first session. Elyse is a very gifted and wise teacher. (Check out her books here: http://elysefitzpatrick.com/Elyse_s_Books.html)

Tonight, Elyse led us in examining the Biblical concept of being a "keeper". "Shamar" is a Hebrew word that means keeping, guarding, hedging in, protecting, caring for, attending to, preserving, or watching over. This concept was used by Cain in Genesis 4 when God confronted Cain for killing his brother Abel. In that account, Cain defiantly answered God, "Am I my brother's keeper"? While Cain's use of the word "keeper" was mocking and sarcastic, Elyse pointed out to us tonight that God Himself is called our keeper (the concept of shamar) in several places throughout Scripture:

1 Samuel 2:9 “He will guard the feet of his faithful ones,but the wicked shall be cut off in darkness, for not by might shall a man prevail.

Job 10:12 " You have granted me life and steadfast love, and your care has preserved my spirit."

Psalm 25:20 "Oh, guard my soul, and deliver me!Let me not be put to shame, for I take refuge in you"

Psalm 145:20 "The Lord preserves all who love him,but all the wicked he will destroy."

Psalm 146:9 "The Lord watches over the sojourners;he upholds the widow and the fatherless, but the way of the wicked he brings to ruin."

Psalm 121 "I lift up my eyes to the hills.From where does my help come?2 My help comes from the Lord,who made heaven and earth. 3 He will not let your foot be moved; he who keeps you will not slumber.4 Behold, he who keeps Israelwill neither slumber nor sleep. 5 The Lord is your keeper; the Lord is your shade on your right hand.6 The sun shall not strike you by day,nor the moon by night. 7 The Lord will keep you from all evil; he will keep your life.8 The Lord will keep your going out and your coming infrom this time forth and forevermore."

John 17 "When Jesus had spoken these words, he lifted up his eyes to heaven, and said, “Father, the hour has come; glorify your Son that the Son may glorify you, 2 since you have given him authority over all flesh, to give eternal life to all whom you have given him. 3 And this is eternal life, that they know you the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent. 4 I glorified you on earth, having accomplished the work that you gave me to do. 5 And now, Father, glorify me in your own presence with the glory that I had with you before the world existed. 6 “I have manifested your name to the people whom you gave me out of the world. Yours they were, and you gave them to me, and they have kept your word. 7 Now they know that everything that you have given me is from you. 8 For I have given them the words that you gave me, and they have received them and have come to know in truth that I came from you; and they have believed that you sent me. 9 I am praying for them. I am not praying for the world but for those whom you have given me, for they are yours. 10 All mine are yours, and yours are mine, and I am glorified in them. 11 And I am no longer in the world, but they are in the world, and I am coming to you. Holy Father, keep them in your name, which you have given me, that they may be one, even as we are one. 12 While I was with them, I kept them in your name, which you have given me. I have guarded them, and not one of them has been lost except the son of destruction, that the Scripture might be fulfilled. 13 But now I am coming to you, and these things I speak in the world, that they may have my joy fulfilled in themselves. 14 I have given them your word, and the world has hated them because they are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. 15 I do not ask that you take them out of the world, but that you keep them from the evil one. 16 They are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. 17 Sanctify them in the truth; your word is truth. 18 As you sent me into the world, so I have sent them into the world. 19 And for their sake I consecrate myself, that they also may be sanctified in truth."

How refreshing, inspiring, and humbling to look at these Scriptures that speak about God's tremendous love, fierce protection, and unwaivering care for us! After having rooted us in this foundational teaching, Elyse is transitioning us into what that means in our relationships with our brothers and sisters in Christ. Are we are sister's keeper? I love this quote she mentioned tonight from Matthew Henry's commentary on Genesis 4:

"A charitable concern for our brethren, as their keepers, is a great duty, which is strictly required of us, but is generally neglected by us. Those who are unconcerned in the affairs of their brethren, and take no care, when they have opportunity, to prevent their hurt in their bodies, goods, or good name, especially in their souls, do, in effect, speak Cain's language."

Wow, what a rich and profound quote with extremely weighty implications! I'm praising God for saints like Matthew Henry and Elyse Fitzpatrick, whom God has gifted and through whom He is edifying His Body. I'm very much looking forward to tomorrow's teaching.

Excellent Sermon on a Wife's Submission

If any of you, like me, are trying to figure out what it means for wives to submit to their husband, I highly recommend this excellent sermon by Wayne Grudem on 1 Peter 3:1-6:

http://www.scottsdalebible.com/sermons/the-actions-of-gods-people/gods-wisdom-for-wives.cfm

(I had trouble with the video, so I downloaded it from iTunes:
http://www.scottsdalebible.com/Main_Downloads_Sermons.cfm)

I listened to it twice. I loved it because: 1) it was practical; 2) it addressed common questions and misunderstandings about submission; 3) it tied the concept of submission to the Trinity and the glory of God!

Here is an outline of the sermon (my notes in parenthesis):

1. What if you are not a wife? (1 Timothy 3:16 All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness. I think anyone would find this sermon to be helpful—husbands, wives, or unmarried folks--because it ultimately points to the glory of God)

2. Does this ancient text still apply today? (Yes! “There are some physical actions with symbolic meaning that change their application from culture to culture” i.e. kissing one another with a brotherly kiss, washing people’s feet, etc. Also, there are some things that were written in the Old Testament that pertained to the Jews and the Bible makes that clear. However, Biblical principles certainly pertain to us today! Some of the methods of application of these principles vary by culture because the significance of the physical actions vary by culture--ie meeting each other with a brotherly kiss means something different in our culture than it did back then, but the principle is hospitality and kindness. Today a brotherly kiss might look more like a hug or a warm handshake. The concept of submission is a principle, not an application).

I. What submission does NOT mean:

A. Your husband is smarter or wiser.
B. Your opinions don’t matter.
C. You should follow your husband into sin. (i.e. Esther who disobeyed her husband and king)
D. You are less valuable than your husband.
E. It’s OK for husbands to be selfish or cruel.

II. What submission DOES mean:

A. An inward gentleness of spirit that supports the leadership of your husband.
B. An imitation of both Sarah and Jesus.
C. An attitude that is precious in God’s sight.

III. The blessings that God promises

A. Salvation of some unbelieving husbands.
B. The joy of having inward beauty and peace.
C. The freedom from focusing on external beauty.
D. Knowing the favor of God on your life.

Other insights from this sermon:

Affirming someone else’s leadership is a natural part of life—we see this in the workplace all the time.

The barrier to submission is fear…not fearing comes from trusting in God, from a quiet confidence in God.

“Submission is an attitude that is precious in God’s sight. Do you hear the amazing promise of this verse? It says when you have a gentle and quiet spirit in your marriage—not contentions, not striving or shrill or harsh, not always fighting against your husband’s leadership, when you have a peace within that comes from walking with God and trusting in Him to protect you, God looks at your heart and takes great delight." GOD actually delights in our submission!!!

“Jesus is behind all submission to authority everywhere in the Bible because Jesus is not only fully man, He is also the Eternal Son of God who is equal to the Father in deity but eternally subject to God the Father in relationship.” 1 Cor 11:3 tells us that the head of Christ is God the Father.

“Submission and authority have existed eternally in the very being of God!...Wives, that means that when you submit to your husband’s authority, you are acting in imitation of God the Son and the glory of God the Son…it’s not demeaning, it’s not wrong… the glory of God the Son is that He submits eternally to His Father to whom He is equal in deity and value and every other way, except they are different in role.”

"You know what else this means? Wives if this is hard for you, you can talk to Jesus about it. Hebrews 4:15-16 “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. 16 Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need."

Here are the sermon notes: http://www.scottsdalebible.com/docs/ppt/Inserts101908.pdf

Exposed

I’m a big picture person. I’m an ideas person. That is why this verse terrifies me:

James 1:22-25 “But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. 23 For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. 24 For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like. 25 But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing.”

It is much easier for me to study what the Word of God says than it is to do what the Word of God says. In my last post, I laid out what God taught me about being my husband’s helpmate and about God’s call for me to submit to my husband. Early on in our marriage, I asked my husband what are the ways I could best serve him (he has asked the same of me). He told me that I could be helpful to him by: 1) tending to my health and appearance; 2) keeping our home orderly; and 3) being a good steward with spending money.

I should not have been too surprised. After all, I read Shaunti Feldhahn’s book, “For Women Only”. Apparently these areas are important to many men.

These are my weakest areas.

I used to wonder, “Lord, why would you choose me to be the wife of a man who values these things so highly, when these are my weakest areas?” I know the answer to that question now. God does not want to leave me as I am. He wants to root out sin in me, grow the fruit of the Spirit in me, and to conform me to the image of Jesus.

My least strong fruit of the Spirit is self-control. One of my biggest propensities toward sin has to do with self-indulgence, gluttony, laziness at home, lack of discipline, lack of endurance, and poor stewardship of time at home, and poor stewardship of money. These qualities in me pertain to what the Bible refers to as my “flesh”.

In some upcoming posts, I am going to address each of these three areas in which I am struggling to serve and submit to my husband, looking at these issues from Scripture.

How about you? Have you ever asked your husband about ways that you can serve him and submit to him better? Are there areas in which you are struggling?

Dear Heavenly Father, Please forgive me for my self-indulgence, gluttony, laziness, lack of discipline, lack of endurance, poor stewardship of time and money, and most of all my lack of love for you and others. I pray that I would not take my sin too lightly and that I would not cheapen the grace you have shown me. I pray that I would remember the price you paid for my sin. I often feel overwhelmed by my sin and weaknesses. I thank you that you have a solution to that. I thank you that there is no condemnation in You. Thank you for not leaving me as I am! Thank you for putting challenging circumstances before me to cut away sin from my life. Thank you for your divine purpose in marriage, which is multifold. Thank you that one of those purposes is to make us both more like your Son. Thank you for my husband and for giving him love in his heart for me. I pray for myself and for all the women who read this blog. Please keep us from believing lies. May our attitudes and actions conform to your Word. Help us to live by your Spirit and not according to our flesh. Help us to have sincere love and a servant heart for others, especially for our husbands. In Jesus Name, Amen

Struggling to Submit

I was 20 years old and studying abroad in Oxford, England. My classmates and I were enjoying a rare sunny spring day floating on a river boat. As we drifted down the river, tranquil scenes passed by us--wildflowers poking through a rolling carpet of green grass and families of ducks quacking under shady trees. I hardly noticed any of it. I was furious. My dear friend Jesse and I were discussing the distinction between men and women from Scripture. He was fully convinced that Scripture directed wives to actually submit to their husbands! I thought he was some 1950’s antiquated breed of sexist boy, or that he was simply enjoying the enraged reaction he was getting from me. I was about ready to toss my glass of white wine at him. Sure, I could read with my own eyes what Scripture said, but surely that is not what it meant! There had to be some explanatory cultural context to those texts that was no longer relevant today.

While it is true that Jesse was probably enjoying antagonizing me a little too much, he was absolutely right that Scripture’s teaching is clear that men and women, husbands and wives have different roles and callings in life. Over the next several years, the Holy Spirit patiently opened my eyes to this truth as I studied this issue from Scripture. By the time I started dating my now-husband, Kristian, I was convicted from Scripture that my calling as a wife was to help my husband and to submit to him. Here are some Scriptures that led me to this conclusion:

1 Timothy 3:16 All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness

Genesis 2:18-25 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” 19 Now out of the ground the Lord God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. 20 The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. 21 So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. 22 And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. 23 Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” 24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. 25 And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.

Proverbs 12:4 An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones.

Proverbs 18: 22 He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.

Proverbs 19: 13 A foolish son is ruin to his father, and a wife's quarreling is a continual dripping of rain.

Proverbs 19:14 House and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord.

Proverbs 25: 24 It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.

Proverbs 27:15-16 A continual dripping on a rainy day and a quarrelsome wife are alike; 16 to restrain her is to restrain the wind or to grasp oil in one's right hand.

Proverbs 31:10-31
10 An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.11 The heart of her husband trusts in her,and he will have no lack of gain.12 She does him good, and not harm,all the days of her life.13 She seeks wool and flax,and works with willing hands.14 She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar.15 She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens.16 She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.17 She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong.18 She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.Her lamp does not go out at night.19 She puts her hands to the distaff,and her hands hold the spindle.20 She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy.21 She is not afraid of snow for her household,for all her household are clothed in scarlet.22 She makes bed coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple.23 Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land.24 She makes linen garments and sells them;she delivers sashes to the merchant.25 Strength and dignity are her clothing,and she laughs at the time to come.26 She opens her mouth with wisdom,and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.27 She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.28 Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:29 “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.”30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.31 Give her of the fruit of her hands,and let her works praise her in the gates.

Song of Solomon 5:18-19 Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth,19 a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love.

1 Cor 7:4-5 For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

Ephesians 5: 22-24 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

Colossians 3: 18 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.

1 Peter 3:1-6 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct. 3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— 4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. 5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening

Titus 2:3-5 Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, 4 and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

Unfortunately, my understanding of what this all meant in light of the gospel was still sorely underdeveloped. I saw this calling as a woman and a wife as somehow getting the “short end of the stick,” and it led to bitterness and resentment in me for no other reason than that I have a rotten heart that is not naturally inclined toward humility and service. In recent years, God has been working on my heart with regard to what it means to be a godly woman and wife.

Here are some things I have learned from Scripture on this issue:

1) Men and women are both made in the image and likeness of God. Genesis 1:26-27: Then God said, "Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth." So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.

2) Christ is my best example of having a humble, loving, and servant heart, and unlike me, He is perfect and God! Philippians 2:1-11 “So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, 2 complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. 3 Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. 4 Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. 5 Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, 6 who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, 7 but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. 8 And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. 9 Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, 10 so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11 and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.”

3) Sincerely loving my husband means sacrificing for him. John 15:13 "Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.”

4) It is not enough for me to go through the motions of submitting to my husband, God wants me to do this out of love. 1 Cor 13:1-3 “If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.”

5) I can actually revile the Word of God in this area of my life. Titus 2:3-5 Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, 4 and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

6) The relationship of marriage is meant to reflect the gospel itself and the relationship between Christ and the church. Ephesians 5:31-32 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

One book that has been extremely valuable to me in this journey is “Father, Son, and Holy Spirit: Roles, Relationship, and Relevance” by Dr. Bruce Ware. I loved the way that Dr. Ware laid out from Scripture the varying roles within the Trinity (Father, Son, and Holy Spirit) and how each member of the Godhead is equally God but different in roles. Here is an excerpt from page 21 of his book:

An authority-submission structure marks the very nature of the eternal Being of the one who is three. In this authority-submission structure, the three Persons understand the rightful place each has. The Father possesses the place of supreme authority, and the Son is the eternal Son of the eternal Father. As such, the Son submits to the Father just as the eternal Father, as eternal Father of the eternal Son, exercises authority over the Son. And the Spirit submits to both the Father and the Son. This hierarchical structure of authority exists in the eternal Godhead even though it is also eternally true that each Person is fully equal to each other in their commonly possessed essence. The implications are both manifold and wondrous as we ponder this authority-submission structure which not only is accepted but is honored, cherished, and upheld within the Godhead. (P. 21)

Dr. Ware related this Trinitarian model to husband and wife who are equals with varying roles. In fact, the word (ezer) used to describe a wife’s role as a “helper” to her husband in Genesis 2 is the same word that is used elsewhere to describe our God who helps us! An example is in this passage:

Psalm 121: 1-2: I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth.

Okay, well that is enough for now. My next post will get into some of the specific struggles I am facing today in honoring God in this area of life.

Biblical Wives

Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for the gift of my sweet husband. Thank you for saving him and giving him to me. Thank you for the way you have put love in his heart for you and for me. Thank you that he takes care of me, protects me, leads me, teaches me, and provides for me. Thank you for the ways he sacrifices out of love for me. Thank you that I get to enjoy him. Thank you for the man of character that you have made him. Please help me to be a biblical wife to him, out of sincere and pure love for you and for him. Please give me a soft, giving, teachable, humble and servant heart. Help me to submit to you and to him in love. Please help me to work hard and diligently in love to help him in the many ways to which you call me. Please make me trustworthy in working for his gain. Please help me to be faithful to pray for him regularly and to speak to him with wisdom and kindness always on my tongue. Please show me new ways to show him my love for him and your love for him. Please help our marriage to reflect the gospel as we are both image bearers of you. May you get all the glory! In Jesus' Name, Amen

Proverbs 12:4 An excellent wife is the crown of her husband,but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones.

Proverbs 18: 22 He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.

Proverbs 19: 13 A foolish son is ruin to his father, and a wife's quarreling is a continual dripping of rain.

Proverbs 19:14 House and wealth are inherited from fathers,but a prudent wife is from the Lord.

Proverbs 25: 24 It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.

Proverbs 27:15-16 A continual dripping on a rainy day and a quarrelsome wife are alike; 16 to restrain her is to restrain the windor to grasp oil in one's right hand.

Proverbs 31:10-31
10 An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.
11 The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.
12 She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.
13 She seeks wool and flax,and works with willing hands.
14 She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar.
15 She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her householdand portions for her maidens.
16 She considers a field and buys it;with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
17 She dresses herself with strengthand makes her arms strong.
18 She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night.
19 She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle.
20 She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy.
21 She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes bed coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchant.
25 Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come.
26 She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
27 She looks well to the ways of her householdand does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children rise up and call her blessed;her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands,and let her works praise her in the gates.

Song of Solomon 5:18-19
Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth,19 a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love.

1 Cor 7:4-5 For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

Ephesians 5: 22-24 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

Colossians 3: 18 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.

1 Peter 3:1-6 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct. 3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— 4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. 5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening

Titus 2:3-5 Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, 4 and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

Homemaking Help

I just wanted to post a link to my friend, Keisha's blog post on her cleaning routine. http://thisbmess.wordpress.com/2008/09/23/building-a-groundwork/ Keisha is a very talented (music, organizing, cleaning, encouraging, story telling, writing, to name a few) and godly woman (loving, tenderhearted, sincere, and she gets grace!). She came up with an amazing cleaning routine (I referred to this in the comments section of my post "Help! Homemaking! Where to Start!"). While my schedule will likely not look exactly like hers, it helped me to read through her schedule as a starting point for figuring out ways that I can organize my own schedule. I love that the Lord gives us much grace, and wants us to live in freedom of His grace, not the bondage of condemnation and fear. While He gives us abiding principles in Scripture, He gives us freedom in application in many ways. The particulars of homemaking will look different for different people depending on their circumstances and gifting. The point is to reflect the beauty and order of our Awesome God, to bless our families and guests in our home, and to live our lives in such a way that we are making the most of our days to glorify our God! Here's my confession: I often default to condemnation, fear, and legalism for myself in this area. When I don't default to these, I often give up. Pray for me! God is working in me with these things though. My new neighbor stopped by out of the blue today with her toddler son, and my house was a mess. I had dishes in the sink, blankets unfolded in the livingroom, papers on my desk, etc. It was humbling (embarassing to be honest), but I am glad she stopped by. I want to get to know her and love my neighbors. This is a good reminder about a key reason for why I want to develop my skills and learn all that I can in the area of homemaking. I want to love well--to love my God, and to love others. I want my home to be an inviting place for my husband firstly, and secondly for others!

A Book Review of Wendy Alsup's book “Practical Theology for Women: How Knowing God Makes a Difference in Our Daily Lives” (published by Crossway)

If you are wondering whether “Practical Theology for Women,” is a euphemism for dumbed-down theology or pop-psychology, let me assure you it is not. To the contrary, the major theme of this book is that seeking to know the “deep things of God” from Scripture empowers Christian women in daily living- from the mundane to the events that shake our world. Throughout the book, Alsup quotes robust sections of Scripture to draw out themes such as God’s love for us, the role of trials in giving us greater glimpses into God’s glory, and the role of discipline in conforming us to the image of Christ. Laying a sturdy foundation from Scripture, Alsup highlights key truths about who God is: 1) as the Father who lovingly adopted us into His family and who desires for us to come to Him with all our needs; 2) as the Brother who sacrificially gave His life for ours, bought our freedom and access to the Father, and who demonstrates by example how we ought to live; and 3) as the Spirit who is our counselor, comforter, sanctifier, and the guarantee of the redemption that awaits us. Humbly using examples from her own life, Alsup goes on to challenge women to examine whether our responses in daily life reflect what we know to be true of God in Scripture. She asks:
What enables one man to face open-heart surgery with calm assurance, while another man is devastated because his car transmission needs to be overhauled? What force drives one woman to near hysterics as she contemplates flying in a plane, while another woman seeks to encourage her family even as she shares the news that she has breast cancer? p. 30
Her answer to these questions is biblical faith- knowing the God of the Bible, trusting Him, and subsequently living like we do. As Alsup reminds us, our God is sovereign, wise, and compassionate, and believing this by faith impacts our daily lives. Alsup’s book exposes how our unbelief is often revealed in our common responses to trials by the way we manipulate our circumstances or sink into despair. Rather than settling for this way of living, Alsup urges women to “stop,” “get off of the emotional roller coaster,” and take our thoughts captive to make them obedient to Christ. She then takes us by the hand and walks us through the ways we do this by accessing God and the exceedingly great power that is available to us through the Word and through prayer.
The biggest legacy of this small book is its rich reference to Scripture, and the simple, practical, and empowering application of Scripture to the everyday life of women with everyday struggles. It can be read cover to cover in an hour or two, or it can be read chapter by chapter in about 5 to 10 minutes per day. Alsup not only employs helpful illustrations from her own life and the lives of other women, but she offers Biblical and practical tips on how to study the Bible and how to pray.
After reading this book, I am left with this truth that Alsup draws upon throughout the book: God does not leave us as orphans but rather gives us direct access to Him and to the same power that raised Jesus from the grave! As Alsup’s book reminds us, this truth means something for us everyday at the breakfast table, in our school, in our workplace, in our cars, at the gym, at the mall, in our churches, and in our neighborhoods. It also means something when we lose our job, when our friends betray us, when we lose a loved one to death, or when we face our own impending death. Alsup’s book leaves me convicted, inspired, and empowered as I seek to call on, honor, and image the God of the Bible moment by moment in my life.