Insightful Article

Someone forwarded me this article today from the blog of Pastor Dave Kraft of Mars Hill Church.  The post was written by JR Kerr at Park Community Church in Chicago, Illinois.  There were a lot of insightful points in the article about accountability, community, leadership, worldliness in the church, and our own blindness and weaknesses.  I appreciated Pastor Kerr's candor and humility in writing it.  I especially appreciated his points about community being a necessary check against the dangers of our narcissistic propensities.  Definitely a worthwhile read!  Here is the link to the blog:

http://davekraft.squarespace.com/posts/2010/12/12/pastoral-narcissism.html

I've cut and pasted the text below.

Pastoral Narcissism


Sunday, December 12, 2010 at 06:21PM

Today I have a guest blogger. JR Kerr is one of the pastors at Park Community Church in Chicago, Illinois. This is taken from "Leadership Journal" online, November 8th, 2010




It is a bit longer than my usual posts, but please read it in it's entirety. It is hugely insightful and convicting! James warns us of "Selfish Ambition" in his letter, chapter three verse 14 & Pastor Kerr adds personal experience to James' admonition:



"Pastoral Narcissism"

The shadow side of ambition





It was a silly thing to do, but I couldn't stop myself. During a "get to know you" conversation with a few acquaintances and a man from the church I serve, we were talking about interests, passions, and areas of ministry. I tried to keep the focus on others at the table. But then it happened.



The man from my church made a statement that I interpreted as making light of me. The fuse was lit, and within a few moments I managed to work into the conversation the areas where I was leading and the wide impact of those projects. I subtly reminded everyone what our church had accomplished in the city. I even managed to throw in some attendance figures for good measure. I pushed everyone else out of the conversation's spotlight.



When it was over, I felt like I had binged on junk food. Self-loathing set in: I hate when I do this, and I hate it even more when I do it as a servant of Christ. Why do I keep falling into this temptation?



I've been through this cycle enough to know that when I feel my capacity or identity as a leader isn't sufficiently honored (and when, really, does anyone ever feel that?), I slip into the sin of self-promotion. But how do I stop?



T.S. Eliot wrote, "Half the harm that is done in this world is due to people who want to feel important. They don't mean to do harm, but the harm does not interest them … or they do not see it, or they justify it … because they are absorbed in the endless struggle to think well of themselves."



Although our mission in Christ is to do good in this world, we will actually do harm if our deeper mission is to feel important and "think well of ourselves." Eliot's words forced me to ask, How much harm do I do to my family, my friends, the people I am supposed to lead, all because I want to think well of myself?



Recently I came home to find my wife researching narcissism on the computer. We have been in counseling for a few years and during a session where we discussed my relentless ambition, the phrase "narcissistic leanings" came up. My wife was researching the concept to see if it fit me and what the implications might be for our marriage.



At first she was embarrassed that I caught her, but I was interested as well, so we read the characteristics of narcissism together on the screen.



My immediate thought was, This isn't a problem for me. Narcissism is the adulation of the self, the diminishment of others, and often expressed as reckless ambition. Nothing could be more inconsistent with the character of Christ—the self-sacrificing servant who sought only to do the will of his Father. How can I be a pastor, a servant of Christ, and struggle with this?



But as we read the definitions online, without saying a word we both knew we were reading an accurate description of me. I am a believer and yet I remain a sinner. I am a pastor and I'm often a self-promoter. I endeavor to serve Jesus and I also have narcissistic tendencies.



What I've come to see since that day, is that I am not alone. Many other church leaders share this struggle to one degree or another. We may not all be full-blown clinical narcissists, but we share that bent toward insecurity and selfishness. Most gatherings of pastors will usually include subtle or overt self-promotion. I'm not the only one who has used attendance numbers or new initiatives or "my vision" as a badge of self-importance.



Although I'm now aware of my tendency and what triggers it, I don't pretend to have it solved. This is simply my effort to be honest about our struggle with ambition and self-promotion as pastors, and how we can address it.



Great things for God

There is a long and celebrated history of church leaders who struggled with narcissistic tendencies—starting with the original disciples. After following Jesus for some time and recognizing his power, these (probably younger) men debated with each other "Who is the greatest?" They jockeyed for power. Who would be closest to Jesus? Who would get positions of honor?



I remember when those kinds of questions were mine. As a young man, I knew Jesus loved me and that I wanted to serve him. My mentor, Bryan, shared with me a quote from D. L. Moody's biography: "The world has yet to see what God can do with one man that is totally committed to him." Apparently when Moody heard this from a preacher, he decided he would be that man. The quote had the same effect on me. It awakened an ambition in me to do great things for God.



Having great ambitions is a good and necessary thing. The problem was how I defined greatness. I was measuring significance as the world does, rather than by the standards of God's kingdom. When Jesus heard his disciples arguing about greatness, he reminded them of the counter-intuitive nature of his kingdom. "If anyone would be first, he must be last of all and a servant of all" (Mark 9:35.



Jesus does not say to stop pursuing greatness. Instead he redefines it: The last will be first. The humble exalted. The small will be big. Those who lose their life for the sake of the gospel will gain it.



Yet it is hard to find that perspective today, even within the church. Self-promotion and worldly definitions of significance seem not only to be tolerated among pastors but even expected and encouraged. How many people are following me on Twitter? How's the traffic on my blog? How many Facebook "friends" can I count? How's our church's "brand" value?



The opportunities for self-promotion are proliferating.



Community and calling

But there is an antidote to these temptations. I've come to recognize the good and healthy tension between my personal calling and ambitions and my community. To understand our personal ambitions, we must be clear about both our sense of calling and our commitment to a community. It is the tension between these two that I lose or win the battle with the sin of self-promotion and narcissism.



Rooting my calling and ambitions in my community helps keep me from slipping into a self-centered focus. Without the community, it becomes all about me, my ministry, my dreams, my achievements. Community is used by God as a guard against this tendency to self-promote.



First, in community, we learn to "tell on myself" in a consistent way to the right people. Just as with other kinds of sin, confessing our struggle with self-promotion opens the way for help and healing. Community keeps us accountable.



Writing this article has served that purpose for me. I debated with Leadership's editors whether or not to put my name on this article. I worried it would be seen as yet another form of self-promotion and therefore distract from the message. We decided to include my name as a way of "telling on myself" and openly confessing. This brings a better accountability. Hiding our sin only gives it more power and control over us.



Second, keeping our calling anchored to a community also reminds us of the imago Dei in others. God has blessed and gifted others in significant ways for the benefit of the whole church and his mission. When we pursue only our own ambitions, we lose sight of this and add fuel to our narcissistic tendencies.



Yes, sometimes things would get accomplished faster and even better if we did them alone, but the inefficiencies of community honors God and keeps our selfishness in check.



Inherent in God's design for people is that we do life together. We see this dynamic in marriage, in family, and in our local congregations.



Third, rooting ourselves in community prevents us from the relentless pursuit of personal platforms. I was recently part of a conversation where a number of Christian leaders were talking about their "personal brands." A brand is the (emotional) experience someone has when they hear your name, see your image, or think of your ministry. As the language of branding seeps into the church, more pastors are thinking about how they are perceived. It puts the emphasis on individual leaders rather than communities of believers. It elevates image and impressions above the always messier reality.



The drive to build my personal brand tempts me to seek platforms to use my gifts rather than serve my community, perhaps in ways that will never be recognized. I try to counter this temptation with a circle of friends and mentors who have access to my schedule. If no one else knows where you are on a regular basis, you face the danger of isolating yourself and therefore exalting yourself. By opening my calendar to others, I am forced to consult with them before committing to another event, meeting, or trip. They help me to keep merely personal ambitions from ruling.



Without the help of my community, I would not have the tools or strength to resist another opportunity for me to "do something great of God."



Temptations within community

While rooting my calling and ambition in my community has helped curb temptations of self-promotion, it is not a silver bullet. This is because pleasing our community can slip into another kind of narcissism—people pleasing.



Sometimes being a faithful leader means doing things and making decisions that will make us unpopular in that community. When we avoid these harder parts of our calling in order to please the congregation, we may still be serving our narcissism and need for approval. It is another way of "thinking well of ourselves."



Ultimately people pleasing fails to honor God. Placing the community's desires ahead of God's calling is a way of making God secondary to people's opinion.



So there is a tension between being committed to our community (which keeps our calling within healthy boundaries) and being committed to God's calling upon me (which keeps our community from having too much power over our leadership).



So now I recognize the twin temptations: pleasing people and pursuing personal platforms. Both extremes are disastrous.



So I confess: I am a pastor and a narcissist. There, it feels good to get it out. I'm still struggling, and I know others are as well. But together we can flee these temptations and pursue humility and faithfulness. I pray that a generation of "recovering self-promoters" can resist our narcissism and help our churches do the same.

Do you know you are a sinner?

Becoming a Christian necessarily requires that we acknowledge our sinfulness and recognize our need for saving from our sin and the consequences of our sin, which is death.


What does it mean to sin?

It means that we fall short of the glory of God. We fall short of His beauty, pristine holiness, pure righteousness, and perfect love.

The Bible tells us all have sinned. (Romans 3:23; 1 John 1:9)

We are saved from the consequences of our sin (death) through faith in Jesus who is Sovereign God and worthy of our worship and obedience. After we become Christians, we are continually being saved from our sinfulness. This process is called sanctification. God gradually reveals our sin to us and roots it out of us—through the Word, through prayer, through fellowship, through trials, etc. The Bible tells us we are being transformed from one degree of glory to another.


Why is it important for us to understand all of the doctrine of sin and to have a grasp of our own sinfulness? Here are a few reasons:

1) Only the sick need a doctor. Only the lost need saving. Seeing our sinfulness reveals to us our need for saving.

2) Recognizing our sinfulness reminds us of our utter and continual need for God for everything good.

3) Recognizing our sinfulness causes us to give thanks to the God who died for us.

4) Recognizing our sinfulness causes us to have compassion and mercy on those around us.

5) Recognizing our sinfulness allows us to acknowledge that God deserves all the glory in our life, not us.

6) Recognizing our sinfulness and acknowledging it to others enables us to walk in the light—in sincerity and truth, not in shame and guilt.

7) As we confess our sins to others, we can receive help from the Body of Christ.

8) As we confess our sins to others, others will feel more comfortable to do the same.

9) Acknowledging our sinfulness shines a spotlight on the goodness of God.


Our failure to recognize the fact that we are sinners is caused by either: 1) our blindness or unwillingness to soberly assess ourselves; or 2) our failure to see just how good, beautiful, magnificent, holy, and righteous God.

Paul calls himself the foremost of sinners. This is the Paul who dedicated his whole life to God and ministering to God’s people. This is the same Paul who wrote much of the New Testament. Paul acknowledges his pre-Christian past where he persecuted Christians. But in calling himself the foremost of sinners, Paul uses the present tense. I don’t think this is because Paul has committed the most heinous sin than anyone in the world. On the contrary, I think it is because Paul has gotten to know God well. God is big and glorious to Paul. The more he knows God, the more he knows he is not like God.

1 Timothy 1:15-17 The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost. 16 But I received mercy for this reason, that in me, as the foremost, Jesus Christ might display his perfect patience as an example to those who were to believe in him for eternal life. 17 To the King of ages, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory forever and ever. Amen.

There are at least two harmful ways of dealing with the fact of our sinfulness.
One of these ways is by becoming obsessed with our sinfulness and our sin. We nitpick ourselves and others. We are excessively introspective or judgmental towards others. We experience condemnation. We over-analyze everything so that we see a sin angle to everything we do. We become so sorrowful over our sin that we miss the joy in the fact that Jesus saved us!
The other harmful way of dealing with our sinfulness is apathy. We may know we are sinful, but God saved us so we are fine. We may know we are not perfect, but we think “I’m not THAT bad.” We may not have thought about it much. We may not want to think about it because sin is a depressing topic. We may think we are sinners so what’s the point in seeking to obey anyways. We avoid God because we don’t want to deal with our sin. We love our sin too much that we don’t want to put ourselves in a position where we would have to give it up.

Where do you fall in this spectrum?

Lord, Help Me Fight!

I am in the midst of a battle. I can chose to fill my head and heart with God’s Word and the things He has taught me in the posts I have written below. Or, I can ignore His truth and believe lies---lies like:

“You are obsolete, irrelevant, hopeless….”

“Children are a blessing. You haven’t received this blessing because you are not good enough.”

“You gave up a fulfilling career to serve your family. This was the wrong decision, and it is confirmed by the fact that you still don’t have children. You are wasting your life.”

“Your family and friends will leave. They always do—this is especially true once everyone else starts having kids. They will move on with their busy lives. You will be forgotten.”

“You will never change. You face the same battles over and over and you never win. What is wrong with you?!”

“You are a mess. You don’t have what it takes to be loved, and you just don’t fit in. Why bother with people?”

“You are missing out.”

At the moment, these lies are truly tempting me. Rather than seeking to be filled with the TRUTH in the past couple days, I have given in to these lies. I use these lies to justify APATHY, INDULGENCE, and SELFISHNESS. They are distracting me from the beauty of Jesus and the unbelievable hope, peace, and fulfillment I have experienced with Him.

It is funny how Satan just recycles his old tricks.

In Genesis 3, he says to Eve, “You’re missing out! God doesn’t love you--He has withheld goodness from you. He is not for you—He is against you! You can’t trust His instructions.”

He says to David in 1 Chronicles 21, “You can’t trust God. You are competent and powerful—you can do this… in fact, you must do this. You have got to take matters into your own hands. We all know that success is all about the numbers.”

He says to Joshua in Zechariah 3, “You are beyond anyone’s hope…even God’s. God couldn’t love you—no one could. Just look yourself! Look at the things you have done! You are a failure. You’re a mess.”

He says to Jesus, “You don’t have to suffer! Why should you give yourself up for this disloyal and ungrateful people? Stick with the ones who make you feel good about yourself, because that’s what it is all about—feeling good.” (Matthew 16:23)… “Come on, indulge yourself—you deserve it and it will satisfy you!” Matthew 4:3)….”Flex your power—assert your rights! Show them who is boss.” (Matthew 4:5)…. “Righteousness is just not worth the cost….give it up and I’ll give you everything you ever dreamed of.” (Matthew 4:9)

To echo the words of Jesus, ““Get behind me, Satan! You are a hindrance to me” (!!!!)

I need to fight!

1 Timothy 6:12 “Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called and about which you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses.”

Philippians 4:8-9 “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. 9 What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.”

1) First of all, it is not all about me, it is all about Him!

Romans 11:36 “For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be glory forever. Amen.”

2) God loves me and is for me.

Romans 8:31-39 “What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? 33 Who shall bring any charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies. 34 Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. 35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? 36 As it is written, 'For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.' 37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”


3) God’s love truly satisfies and I have all I need in Him! He is more than enough.

Isaiah 55


“Come, everyone who thirsts,
come to the waters;
and he who has no money,
come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk
without money and without price.
2 Why do you spend your money for that which is not bread,
and your labor for that which does not satisfy?
Listen diligently to me, and eat what is good,
and delight yourselves in rich food.

Psalm 63:1 O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you;
my soul thirsts for you;
my flesh faints for you,
as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.
2 So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary,
beholding your power and glory.
3 Because your steadfast love is better than life,
my lips will praise you.
4 So I will bless you as long as I live;
in your name I will lift up my hands.
5 My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food,
and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips,
6 when I remember you upon my bed,
and meditate on you in the watches of the night;
7 for you have been my help,
and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy.
8 My soul clings to you;
your right hand upholds me.

4) Out of His satisfying love, God calls me and empowers me to love Him and others. This is the most important thing for me to do.

Matthew 22:35-40 "And one of them, a lawyer, asked him a question to test him. 36 'Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?' And he said to him, 'You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. 38 This is the great and first commandment. 39 And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. 40 On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.'”

5) One of the ways I love God is by loving others. He calls me to love others as He has loved me…sacrificially, sincerely, whole-heartedly, graciously, mercifully, compassionately, prayerfully, scandalously, and with pursuit.

John 15:12-13 “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.”

Philippians 2:1-11 “So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, 2 complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. 3 Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. 4 Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. 5 Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, 6 who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, 7 but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. 8 And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. 9 Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, 10 so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11 and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.”

1 Cor 13:4-7 “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

6) Relationship with the Living God is worth losing everything else.  The successes and pleasures of this world are nothing without Him.

Matthew 10:39 “Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.”


2 Cor 4:7-18 “But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. 8 We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; 9 persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; 10 always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies…16 So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. 17 For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, 18 as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.”

Dear Heavenly Father, Forgive me for ignoring you and your truth. Forgive me for sinking into despair and lies and for indulging my sinful desires. Thank you for fighting for my heart. Even as I sat in church yesterday, I could hear you speaking to me through a simple phrase—“At the foot of the cross we are on a level playing field”. We all come as sinners in need of your grace. Though I want to be successful and productive, not one of my actions can make you love me more or less. Forgive me for buying what the world wants to sell me—that success and happiness could be in anything but you. Forgive me for seeking my own glory. Glorious God, please don’t leave me to myself. I need you. I need your strength. I need you to give me the power to will and to do what you have asked of me. I need your love to fill me so that I might pour it out on others. Help me to love like you do—as a servant, sacrificially, sincerely, scandalously. I am embarrassed by the places my heart takes me—thank you that you take away my shame. Please let me hear your voice and know your presence again. May the truths articulated in the Scriptures above penetrate my heart and soul by your Spirit with you power. In Jesus Name, Amen

Psalm 84
My Soul Longs for the Courts of the Lord


1 How lovely is your dwelling place,
O Lord of hosts!
2 My soul longs, yes, faints
for the courts of the Lord;
my heart and flesh sing for joy
to the living God.
3 Even the sparrow finds a home,
and the swallow a nest for herself,
where she may lay her young,
at your altars, O Lord of hosts,
my King and my God.
4 Blessed are those who dwell in your house,
ever singing your praise! Selah
5 Blessed are those whose strength is in you,
in whose heart are the highways to Zion.
6 As they go through the Valley of Baca
they make it a place of springs;
the early rain also covers it with pools.
7 They go from strength to strength;
each one appears before God in Zion.
8 O Lord God of hosts, hear my prayer;
give ear, O God of Jacob! Selah
9 Behold our shield, O God;
look on the face of your anointed!
10 For a day in your courts is better
than a thousand elsewhere.
I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God
than dwell in the tents of wickedness.
11 For the Lord God is a sun and shield;
the Lord bestows favor and honor.
No good thing does he withhold
from those who walk uprightly.
12 O Lord of hosts,
blessed is the one who trusts in you!

Deliver Us from Evil

James 1:13-15 "Let no one say when he is tempted, 'I am being tempted by God,' for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one. 14 But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. 15 Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death."


Trials often bring temptation. God brings us trials to strengthen us and to make our belief in Him and in His character steadfast…but He does not tempt us to sin. We are tempted when we are lured and enticed by our own fleshly desires. All of us have a war inside of our hearts between God’s Spirit who lives in us and: 1) our flesh (that is the desires of our heart that are divorced from God’s will for us which has been known to us through His Word); 2) the world and its philosophies and promises that do not line up with God’s Word; and 3) Satan, our enemy, who lies and tricks and wants us to destroy our trust in God’s goodness and love. These three things taunt us as we walk through life, and particularly as we walk through the difficult things of life. They vie for our attention, they make themselves attractive, and they attempt to distract us from the beautiful face of our Lord. They often come to us looking like cute harmless little teddy bears, and yet when we engage with them and feed them, they become vicious grizzly bears that devour us.

And yes, we often choose to feed them.

Here is an illustration of how this can work:

Imagine a woman who is feeling neglected and unloved by her husband. Suppose she begins working closely with a colleague at work. This colleague is well-liked in the workforce by everyone. He is a Christian; he takes initiative; he is kind to those around him. He is admired by many for his godly traits. He is also a handsome man. Like everyone else, this woman admires this man and her admiration for him is nothing sexual or intimate. The two are assigned a project that requires them to work closely with one another. They find that they work well together. They spend a lot of time together. She notices that, unlike her husband, this man takes an interest in what she is saying, he listens to her, he cares about her feelings, and he makes her feel special. He even reads his Bible, while her husband rarely picks up his. Through out the project, she begins to find herself thinking about this other man a lot. She sometimes wonders whether her thoughts are appropriate. However, rather than praying about it or asking a godly friend for advice, she dismisses her doubts as silly. Yet, she continues to seek out opportunities to talk to this other man. She tells herself, “It’s really harmless. It’s not like I am doing anything wrong. We are just friends.” But the more she allows herself to engage with this other man, the less clear her boundaries seem. She begins confiding in him, sharing intimate parts of her soul. One day, during such a conversation, this other man reaches out and grabs her hand—giving her butterflies. She tells herself, “We’re not doing anything wrong, he was just comforting me like I would do for any friend.” The next time they are together, they share a moment where she thinks they almost kiss. However, they both abruptly come to their senses and leave. Upon reflection, this woman realizes that she should not have let things get so far, and she assures herself that she will never let it happen again. She says a prayer about it, asking God to take away her desires. Still, she is ashamed to tell anyone in the Body of Christ about this situation and she is convinced that she and this man can handle things on their own—after all, they just need to exercise some good old fashioned self-control. They are both disciplined people. After all, they have both climbed the corporate ladder by their discipline and self-control. She tries to avoid this man as much as possible for a while. Seeing how hard it is becoming for her to avoid him, she considers removing herself from the project altogether. But she reminds herself that this project is her big chance to be promoted. It would be foolish to throw that away. She has worked so hard for it. So, she continues to work on the project, and things continue to get worse at home. One day, she gets into a huge fight with her husband about something unrelated. Her husband was so cruel to her. She is crushed. She needs a friend. She needs to talk to her colleague. She arrives at his doorstep in tears. He tells her she deserves better. He tells her how special she is. He tells her he would never treat her that way. He lets her cry on his shoulder—his strong, muscular, shoulder. He smells so good. She is so tired. Her tears have taken everything out of her. Gently, he lifts her chin with his hand and kisses her on the forehead (much like she would kiss a hurt child, she tells herself). Then his lips move softly to her cheek (much like she would greet a friend, she tells herself)…. and then his lips quietly trail to down to hers (she feels relief, she feels comfort, she feels thrilled, she feels alive)… soon enough though, she feels only emptiness as she stares down at the small mound of her own clothes discarded on the floor---discarded along with her wedding vows.  Stunned in disbelief, she quietly wonders, "How did I get here?"

While this may seem like an extreme example, it isn’t. Like this woman, we make our selves vulnerable to sin by:

1) Not praying consistently (not acknowledging our constant dependence on Him).

2) Not asking God to give us the desire and the eyes to see His truth plainly in His Word.

3) Not asking God to deliver us from evil everyday.

4) Not prayerfully reading God’s Word (asking Him to help us understand it, asking Him how it applies to our daily lives, asking Him how we are lacking in the application of it, and asking Him for help in how to apply it).

5) Not reading God’s Word in such a way such as to seek relationship with God. (i.e. irregularly picking up God’s Word; reading the Word as a task to check off during our day, skimming through it, not seeking both the big picture and the details of passages of Scripture; not seeking to understand it; and not asking questions of God and of others in the Body who know God’s Word.)

6) Not agreeing with God’s Word (making excuses for why His Word doesn’t apply to my situation, not seeking godly counsel to see whether this is true, or seeking godly counsel and ignoring it in favor of my own desired interpretations).

7) Not living in the light before God and man (hiding our behaviors and thoughts in pride—“this is no one else’s business”-- or shame—“what will they thing of me?”--or fear—“what will happen if others know?”—or self sufficiency—“I’ve got this under control.”, etc.)

8) Playing with fire (allowing ourselves little indulgences, allowing ourselves to flirt with the objects of our misguided desires—going to the mall to “browse” after promising our husbands that we would not spend money this week—searching the web for relationship advice rather than searching the Scriptures—choosing the checkout aisle with our favorite cute cashier so that we can “chat”—filling up our schedules with appointments and commitments that take away from the areas that God has called us to prioritize, etc.)

9) Not taking ourselves out of harms way—even when that comes at drastic costs to ourselves and to the desires that rage within us.

10) Failing to listen to those around us who love us and are pleading with us from the Word (thinking to ourselves, “They are just being selfish”---“They don’t really love me.”---“They don’t know how hard it is.”—“They are being legalistic and judgmental.”—“They are over-reacting.”—“That’s not really what the Word says” etc.)

11) Removing ourselves from community all together (by not engaging in it at all, by engaging only at a superficial level, or by withholding key parts of ourselves from the Body of Christ).

Matthew 16:24-27 “Then Jesus told his disciples, ‘If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. 25 For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. 26 For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul? 27 For the Son of Man is going to come with his angels in the glory of his Father, and then he will repay each person according to what he has done.’”

Heavenly Father, Thank you that you are good! Help us not to be lured and enticed away from you! Remind us always of your goodness and beauty—and how you alone satisfy us. Help us to keep our eyes focused on you in your Word. Give us an increasing desire to know you by reading your Word and talking with you in prayer. Give us understanding and discernment—that we might see truth in your Word and that we might apply it to every situation. Help us to set up safeguards in our life, so that we do not stray into temptation. Help us to walk in the light before you and your people. Bring into our lives people with whom we can be real and who will be real with us. Help us to speak the gospel into each other’s lives, so that we can help each other to apply the gospel to every situation. Help us to be soft hearted. Help us to be humble and to listen. Dear Lord, please lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil. For yours is the kingdom and the glory forever. Amen!