Delight

I read this article on the Council for Biblical Manhood and Womanhood website, and I just loved it.  I can't think of a single more important topic than delighting in the Lord.

http://www.cbmw.org/Blog/Posts/Delight

by Leanne Popeko

January 4, 2011

Psalm 37:4—we’ve heard it many times. “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” This verse pops up often in conversations about singleness. Though I’m thankful for the reminder when it does come up, I have to confess that I haven’t quite understood what it means to “delight in the Lord.” It sounds lovely, but what do I actually do to delight in Him? Can I honestly say I delight in Him now, and if I say yes, what examples could I produce that would prove it (to my own heart)?

Lately I’ve been thinking about what it means to delight in the Lord and I’ve come to the conclusion that I think it must begin with the gospel.



If the gospel is true: that we were created for perfect fellowship with the holy God of the universe, but because of sin we are separated from Him and our hearts, minds, and wills are all affected by that sin…

That apart from Christ, we are spiritually dead, we love darkness and hate things that are pure and holy, and we’re heading for an eternity apart from God where we’ll feel the weight of conscious guilt and torment with no relief possible…

BUT:

That God intervened into this desperate situation and appointed His own Son who had been with Him for all eternity, to come to earth to take on all of our sin and bear the wrath of God (who is a just God and must punish sin as an earthly judge would punish someone who broke the law…)

And that by the grace of God, through faith in Christ, we can be restored to the relationship with Him that we were created to have, and because of His mercy, when we repent of our sin, we’re forgiven of all of it and will enjoy the wonder of His presence for all of eternity…

If all these things are true (and they are), then shouldn’t that bring about the deepest expression of delight in our hearts and minds?

This delight can and should be felt by all believers. In fact, God Himself wants us to delight in Him because His Word tells us to.

Not only this, but there’s another crucial aspect to delighting in the Lord, and that is delighting in His Word. Delighting in Him is not merely a feeling of delight, but also an act of obedience and spiritual discipline through reading, learning, knowing, practicing, and treasuring His Word. There are so many passages in the Bible that talk about this. I’m just going to list some here:

Psalm 1:1-2 “How blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked, nor stand in the path of sinners, nor sit in the seat of scoffers, but his DELIGHT is in the law of the Lord and in His law he meditates day and night.”



Psalm 40:8 “I DELIGHT to do Your will, O my God, Your law is within my heart.”



Psalm 111:1-2 “Praise the Lord! I will give thanks to the Lord with all my heart…great are the works of the Lord; they are studied by all who DELIGHT in them.”



Psalm 112:1 “Praise the Lord! How blessed is the man who fears the Lord, who greatly DELIGHTS in His commandments.”



Psalm 119:15-16 “I will meditate on Your precepts and regard Your ways. I shall DELIGHT in Your statutes; I shall not forget Your Word.”



Psalm 119:24 “Your testimonies are my DELIGHT; they are my counselors.”



Psalm 119:35 “Make me walk in the path of Your commandments, for I DELIGHT in it.”



Psalm 119:47 “I shall DELIGHT in your commandments which I love.”



Psalm 119:92-93 “If Your law had not been my DELIGHT, then I would have perished in my affliction. I will never forget Your precepts, for by them You have revived me.”

So we can see a clear theme in Scripture that tells us that delighting in the Lord means delighting in His Word and following His commandments.

Although the idea of delighting in the Lord comes up a lot when talking about singleness, we understand that this isn’t only for singles. It speaks to all people, everywhere, regardless of marital status. How sweet a marriage must be if both parties delight in the Lord and in His Word. I’m convinced that if God brings a gentleman into my life someday, this quality of delight needs to be evident in his life (thus, it better be evident in my own life, too!) What’s more attractive than a person who is deeply delighted by the Savior? I can’t think of anything…

Delighting in the Lord comes from a heart that is consumed with a love for Him, because we understand the profound nature of what He has done. Certainly this doesn’t stop once we’re married. It’s not something to do because we have no other viable option as a single—because we have nothing else in life that brings us any joy. Gracious no! Delighting in the Lord should be our ultimate source of delight, period. And always! No matter what. It should continue until the day we get to glory, where we’ll spend an eternity of delighting in Him in ways we can’t comprehend until we get there.

I think we single folks can be tempted to think that marriage will bring us a certain delight that we’re unable to have without a spouse. Well, certainly it’s true that there are special things within marriage that a single person doesn’t experience, but, that doesn’t mean we lack the ability to know meaningful (and happy!) delight right now, right where we’re at.

In fact if we haven’t yet grabbed a hold of delighting in the Lord, I think this must be the root of what we feel we’re lacking, rather than marriage being the source of it. Fellowship with Christ and delight in Him has got to come first. Otherwise we might drain the life out of a spouse if we look to him or her to fulfill that deepest longing for delight and we’ll have this sense that we’re still missing something. Perhaps then we might even resent our spouse for not satisfying the deepest longings of our hearts, but really, that’s placing a requirement on him or her that isn’t biblical or even possible.

Delighting in the Lord is something we’ll be doing for eternity, so I think a lot of energy should be put into wrapping our minds around what it means to delight in Him now…and then as we delight in Him, Psalm 37:4 says He will give us the desires of our heart. I think this is because our hearts will be aligned with Him—His will becomes our will. We trust Him more and we begin to desire what He desires, believing that what He desires for us is for our very best. It becomes less about circumstances or things and more about an intimate fellowship with Christ.
I want to delight in the Lord—to treasure what He has done and what He has accomplished on the Cross—to understand what it means for those who believe in Christ, to know His Word and to follow Him with everything. There is nothing greater. Nothing purer. Nothing more beautiful. Nothing more exciting. Nothing more adventurous. Nothing that will thrill our hearts more or satisfy our deepest longings.
Because we were created to delight in Him.

How I Keep it Real With Jesus & Lessons Learned from Malia and Sasha, the Obama Kids

One of my prayers today:

Sometimes I feel like You have forgotten about me…like I am just a waste of breath...like I am a ghost…like my life has been put on pause while I watch from the background the lives of those around me still rolling. I feel irrelevant in Your plan, and I wonder if You or anyone remembers that I am still here. I wonder what to do and what You want from me. I wonder what it looks like to move forward in a plan I never made and never wanted. I feel guilty because deep within me I know that I am blessed far beyond anything I deserve, and I know that I have all that I need to experience the most abundant joy that supersedes circumstance. And I have even tasted that joy and I truly know that nothing has or will ever compare. But today it eludes me. It is hard for me to remember that life is far more than what I can see because what I see is bleak. It is bleak for me and it is incredibly more bleak for many others who are suffering from torture, abuse, poverty, sickness, broken relationships, abandonment, loneliness, fear, depression, and other forms of pain, grief, and loss. As I lose perspective on eternity, my sinful pride stings with the knowledge that, by the world’s standards, I am a failure. I decided to walk away from a promising career to pursue a family. Many years later, I am still childless. I wonder what I am supposed to do now. I fear I will never have a child and I wonder whether my husband and I will be okay with that. Are we still a family? Am I less of a woman? Are we less human? I am at my all time highest weight and cannot imagine that my husband finds me attractive anymore. I have still not mastered an ordered home. My pride sickens me, and yet it doesn’t sicken me enough. The sad truth is that some of my worldly failure is also a result of sin—I have failed You. I am still selfish and lazy and undisciplined with my time and resources—time and resources that are a gift from You and that could be spent at Your feet and serving those around me in Your honor. I have wanted to change, and I have begged for change. It also eludes me.


Where are you, God, and what would You say to me? I know that I am a speck of dust in the presence of the Only Majestic, Awesome, God, Wise, Loving, Righteous, Just, Creator of the World. And yet your Word tells me I am Yours. It tells me that Jesus died for this speck of dust--that you have loved and sacrificed for and redeemed this speck of dust. It tells me that I am no longer your enemy but your friend and even your child and heir. It tells me that I won’t always be broken like I am and that one day my brokenness will no longer hinder me from seeing you and being fully satisfied in you. But for now, I don’t get it and I can’t see it.

I confess I hesitated to post this blog. It exposes me. It exposes that I still believe lies and I still struggle to believe the truth of God’s promises. It exposes my pride. It exposes that I still search for ultimate significance and satisfaction in things that can never deliver.  It exposes my failure to live as I ought considering all that God has given me.  It exposes my confusion. It exposes my pain. It exposes my doubt.  It exposes my raw emotion toward God.  To many I will look the fool.  Some will judge me or think poorly of me. Some will think I am being dramatic or a downer. Some will think I am unstable. Some won't be able to relate.  Some will think I just need a dose of optimism or "happy thoughts". Some never think of such things. Some won't really care.  Some will be uncomfortable with me and won’t know what to say or do. Some will doubt my faith in God. Some will think I am not fit for formal ministry with my husband. Everyone will see that I am broken and a mess and a sinner. But in the spirit of my last post, I just want to be real, sincere, true, and honest about who I am, even if it is ugly and messy. I want to care more about what God thinks of me than about what others think.  I want to encourage others.  Maybe it will encourage even one person who can relate to where I am at, whether they are a Christian or a non-Christian. Most of all, I pray that any exposure of who I am—with my many, many warts and all—will show the world what a GRACIOUS, MERCIFUL, KIND, LOVING God who would stoop down to love me—not in some generic universal way, but in a personal way. Because Jesus is my Lord who took my sins upon Himself and was crucified because of them, I have been acquitted and I am free. I am free to be in relationship with a Perfectly Holy God who because of His Perfect Righteousness cannot tolerate sin. Light cannot live with darkness. What is pristine cannot co-mingle with mud and remain pristine. My sin and failure has corrupted me, but because Jesus paid for ALL of my sin (past, present, and future), my slate is washed clean before my God. Because of what Jesus did for me, God is no longer this distant King, but He is my Father the King.

By illustration, I am now like Malia and Sasha who are the daughters of President Obama. The world calls him “Mr. President”. The world stands back, showing deference and respect for the prestigious office of President of the United States of America. While Malia and Sasha also show Barack Obama the respect and deference due to him as their father and president, they also run into his arms. They have access to the President that the rest of the world doesn’t. As a loving father, President Obama delights in their hugs and kisses, and eagerly invites them to share their true hearts—hopes, dreams, sorrows, struggles, and even failures—with him. He wants to know them, bless them, and help them.  That is a good father’s heart. Our God is the Best Father. He is better than any earthly father. For all who acknowledge their sin and need of saving, for all who trust in Jesus’ work on the cross, and for all who submit to Jesus as Lord and first in their life, we have this kind of access to God Our Father.  It is freely available to any who would come to Him.

And so I pour my heart out to my God. I tell him where I truly am, even though in His Omnipotence and Infinite Wisdom, He already knows. He still wants to hear from me. And talking to Him comforts me because I know that He is there and I know that He cares. His Word always reminds me of who He is and what He has done and how much He loves.  Because of this, even as I write the last sentence of this post, my heart is not the same as when I wrote the first.

Helpful Scriptures:

John 3:16 “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.”


Psalm 103


Bless the LORD, O my soul,
and all that is within me,
bless his holy name!
2 Bless the LORD, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits,
3 who forgives all your iniquity,
who heals all your diseases,
4 who redeems your life from the pit,
who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,
5 who satisfies you with good
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.
6 The LORD works righteousness
and justice for all who are oppressed.
7 He made known his ways to Moses,
his acts to the people of Israel.
8 The LORD is merciful and gracious,
slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
9 He will not always chide,
nor will he keep his anger forever.
10 He does not deal with us according to our sins,
nor repay us according to our iniquities.
11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him;
12 as far as the east is from the west,
so far does he remove our transgressions from us.
13 As a father shows compassion to his children,
so the LORD shows compassion to those who fear him.
14 For he knows our frame;
he remembers that we are dust.
15 As for man, his days are like grass;
he flourishes like a flower of the field;
16 for the wind passes over it, and it is gone,
and its place knows it no more.
17 But the steadfast love of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear him,
and his righteousness to children's children,
18 to those who keep his covenant
and remember to do his commandments.
19 The LORD has established his throne in the heavens,
and his kingdom rules over all.
20 Bless the LORD, O you his angels,
you mighty ones who do his word,
obeying the voice of his word!
21 Bless the LORD, all his hosts,
his ministers, who do his will!
22 Bless the LORD, all his works,
in all places of his dominion.
Bless the LORD, O my soul!

Luke 12 “I tell you, my friends, do not fear those who kill the body, and after that have nothing more that they can do. 5 But I will warn you whom to fear: fear him who, after he has killed, has authority to cast into hell.  Yes, I tell you, fear him! 6 Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? And not one of them is forgotten before God. 7 Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows.

Ephesians 2


12 remember that you were at that time separated from Christ, alienated from the commonwealth of Israel and strangers to the covenants of promise, having no hope and without God in the world. 13 But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ. 14 For he himself is our peace, who has made us both one and has broken down in his flesh the dividing wall of hostility 15 by abolishing the law of commandments expressed in ordinances, that he might create in himself one new man in place of the two, so making peace, 16 and might reconcile us both to God in one body through the cross, thereby killing the hostility. 17 And he came and preached peace to you who were far off and peace to those who were near. 18 For through him we both have access in one Spirit to the Father. 19 So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God, 20 built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Christ Jesus himself being the cornerstone, 21 in whom the whole structure, being joined together, grows into a holy temple in the Lord. 22 In him you also are being built together into a dwelling place for God by the Spirit.


Romans 8


There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. 2 For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. 3 For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, he condemned sin in the flesh, 4 in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit………. 18 For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. 19 For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. 20 For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope 21 that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. 22 For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. 23 And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. 24 For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? 25 But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.

1 Peter 5
6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, 7 casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. 8 Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. 9 Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. 10 And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. 11 To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen.

Lord, Help Me Fight!

I am in the midst of a battle. I can chose to fill my head and heart with God’s Word and the things He has taught me in the posts I have written below. Or, I can ignore His truth and believe lies---lies like:

“You are obsolete, irrelevant, hopeless….”

“Children are a blessing. You haven’t received this blessing because you are not good enough.”

“You gave up a fulfilling career to serve your family. This was the wrong decision, and it is confirmed by the fact that you still don’t have children. You are wasting your life.”

“Your family and friends will leave. They always do—this is especially true once everyone else starts having kids. They will move on with their busy lives. You will be forgotten.”

“You will never change. You face the same battles over and over and you never win. What is wrong with you?!”

“You are a mess. You don’t have what it takes to be loved, and you just don’t fit in. Why bother with people?”

“You are missing out.”

At the moment, these lies are truly tempting me. Rather than seeking to be filled with the TRUTH in the past couple days, I have given in to these lies. I use these lies to justify APATHY, INDULGENCE, and SELFISHNESS. They are distracting me from the beauty of Jesus and the unbelievable hope, peace, and fulfillment I have experienced with Him.

It is funny how Satan just recycles his old tricks.

In Genesis 3, he says to Eve, “You’re missing out! God doesn’t love you--He has withheld goodness from you. He is not for you—He is against you! You can’t trust His instructions.”

He says to David in 1 Chronicles 21, “You can’t trust God. You are competent and powerful—you can do this… in fact, you must do this. You have got to take matters into your own hands. We all know that success is all about the numbers.”

He says to Joshua in Zechariah 3, “You are beyond anyone’s hope…even God’s. God couldn’t love you—no one could. Just look yourself! Look at the things you have done! You are a failure. You’re a mess.”

He says to Jesus, “You don’t have to suffer! Why should you give yourself up for this disloyal and ungrateful people? Stick with the ones who make you feel good about yourself, because that’s what it is all about—feeling good.” (Matthew 16:23)… “Come on, indulge yourself—you deserve it and it will satisfy you!” Matthew 4:3)….”Flex your power—assert your rights! Show them who is boss.” (Matthew 4:5)…. “Righteousness is just not worth the cost….give it up and I’ll give you everything you ever dreamed of.” (Matthew 4:9)

To echo the words of Jesus, ““Get behind me, Satan! You are a hindrance to me” (!!!!)

I need to fight!

1 Timothy 6:12 “Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called and about which you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses.”

Philippians 4:8-9 “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. 9 What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.”

1) First of all, it is not all about me, it is all about Him!

Romans 11:36 “For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be glory forever. Amen.”

2) God loves me and is for me.

Romans 8:31-39 “What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? 33 Who shall bring any charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies. 34 Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. 35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? 36 As it is written, 'For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.' 37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”


3) God’s love truly satisfies and I have all I need in Him! He is more than enough.

Isaiah 55


“Come, everyone who thirsts,
come to the waters;
and he who has no money,
come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk
without money and without price.
2 Why do you spend your money for that which is not bread,
and your labor for that which does not satisfy?
Listen diligently to me, and eat what is good,
and delight yourselves in rich food.

Psalm 63:1 O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you;
my soul thirsts for you;
my flesh faints for you,
as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.
2 So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary,
beholding your power and glory.
3 Because your steadfast love is better than life,
my lips will praise you.
4 So I will bless you as long as I live;
in your name I will lift up my hands.
5 My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food,
and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips,
6 when I remember you upon my bed,
and meditate on you in the watches of the night;
7 for you have been my help,
and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy.
8 My soul clings to you;
your right hand upholds me.

4) Out of His satisfying love, God calls me and empowers me to love Him and others. This is the most important thing for me to do.

Matthew 22:35-40 "And one of them, a lawyer, asked him a question to test him. 36 'Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?' And he said to him, 'You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. 38 This is the great and first commandment. 39 And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. 40 On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.'”

5) One of the ways I love God is by loving others. He calls me to love others as He has loved me…sacrificially, sincerely, whole-heartedly, graciously, mercifully, compassionately, prayerfully, scandalously, and with pursuit.

John 15:12-13 “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.”

Philippians 2:1-11 “So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, 2 complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. 3 Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. 4 Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. 5 Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, 6 who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, 7 but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. 8 And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. 9 Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, 10 so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11 and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.”

1 Cor 13:4-7 “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

6) Relationship with the Living God is worth losing everything else.  The successes and pleasures of this world are nothing without Him.

Matthew 10:39 “Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.”


2 Cor 4:7-18 “But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. 8 We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; 9 persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; 10 always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies…16 So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. 17 For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, 18 as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.”

Dear Heavenly Father, Forgive me for ignoring you and your truth. Forgive me for sinking into despair and lies and for indulging my sinful desires. Thank you for fighting for my heart. Even as I sat in church yesterday, I could hear you speaking to me through a simple phrase—“At the foot of the cross we are on a level playing field”. We all come as sinners in need of your grace. Though I want to be successful and productive, not one of my actions can make you love me more or less. Forgive me for buying what the world wants to sell me—that success and happiness could be in anything but you. Forgive me for seeking my own glory. Glorious God, please don’t leave me to myself. I need you. I need your strength. I need you to give me the power to will and to do what you have asked of me. I need your love to fill me so that I might pour it out on others. Help me to love like you do—as a servant, sacrificially, sincerely, scandalously. I am embarrassed by the places my heart takes me—thank you that you take away my shame. Please let me hear your voice and know your presence again. May the truths articulated in the Scriptures above penetrate my heart and soul by your Spirit with you power. In Jesus Name, Amen

Psalm 84
My Soul Longs for the Courts of the Lord


1 How lovely is your dwelling place,
O Lord of hosts!
2 My soul longs, yes, faints
for the courts of the Lord;
my heart and flesh sing for joy
to the living God.
3 Even the sparrow finds a home,
and the swallow a nest for herself,
where she may lay her young,
at your altars, O Lord of hosts,
my King and my God.
4 Blessed are those who dwell in your house,
ever singing your praise! Selah
5 Blessed are those whose strength is in you,
in whose heart are the highways to Zion.
6 As they go through the Valley of Baca
they make it a place of springs;
the early rain also covers it with pools.
7 They go from strength to strength;
each one appears before God in Zion.
8 O Lord God of hosts, hear my prayer;
give ear, O God of Jacob! Selah
9 Behold our shield, O God;
look on the face of your anointed!
10 For a day in your courts is better
than a thousand elsewhere.
I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God
than dwell in the tents of wickedness.
11 For the Lord God is a sun and shield;
the Lord bestows favor and honor.
No good thing does he withhold
from those who walk uprightly.
12 O Lord of hosts,
blessed is the one who trusts in you!

Your Steadfast Love is Better than Life... and Motherhood, and.....

1 Samuel 1:19-27 and I Samuel 2:1-11
They rose early in the morning and worshiped before the Lord; then they went back to their house at Ramah. And Elkanah knew Hannah his wife, and the Lord remembered her. 20 And in due time Hannah conceived and bore a son, and she called his name Samuel, for she said, “I have asked for him from the Lord.”21 The man Elkanah and all his house went up to offer to the Lord the yearly sacrifice and to pay his vow. 22 But Hannah did not go up, for she said to her husband, “As soon as the child is weaned, I will bring him, so that he may appear in the presence of the Lord and dwell there forever.” 23 Elkanah her husband said to her, “Do what seems best to you; wait until you have weaned him; only, may the Lord establish his word.” So the woman remained and nursed her son until she weaned him. 24 And when she had weaned him, she took him up with her, along with a three-year-old bull, an ephah of flour, and a skin of wine, and she brought him to the house of the Lord at Shiloh. And the child was young. 25 Then they slaughtered the bull, and they brought the child to Eli. 26 And she said, “Oh, my lord! As you live, my lord, I am the woman who was standing here in your presence, praying to the Lord. 27 For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted me my petition that I made to him. 28 Therefore I have lent him to the Lord. As long as he lives, he is lent to the Lord.” And he worshiped the Lord there.2:1 And Hannah prayed and said,“My heart exults in the Lord;my strength is exalted in the Lord.My mouth derides my enemies,because I rejoice in your salvation.2 “There is none holy like the Lord;there is none besides you;there is no rock like our God.3 Talk no more so very proudly,let not arrogance come from your mouth;for the Lord is a God of knowledge,and by him actions are weighed.4 The bows of the mighty are broken,but the feeble bind on strength.5 Those who were full have hired themselves out for bread,but those who were hungry have ceased to hunger.The barren has borne seven,but she who has many children is forlorn.6 The Lord kills and brings to life;he brings down to Sheol and raises up.7 The Lord makes poor and makes rich;he brings low and he exalts.8 He raises up the poor from the dust;he lifts the needy from the ash heapto make them sit with princes and inherit a seat of honor.For the pillars of the earth are the Lord's,and on them he has set the world.9 “He will guard the feet of his faithful ones,but the wicked shall be cut off in darkness,for not by might shall a man prevail.10 The adversaries of the Lord shall be broken to pieces;against them he will thunder in heaven.The Lord will judge the ends of the earth;he will give strength to his king and exalt the power of his anointed.”11 Then Elkanah went home to Ramah. And the boy ministered to the Lord in the presence of Eli the priest.

Hebrews 11:6 says, “And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.”

I love what came out of Hannah earnestly seeking the Lord by pouring her heart out to Him sincerely in prayer in faith. He met her! He restored to her the joy of her salvation. He enabled her to trust Him and to see His character. He enabled her to worship Him. He enabled her to love Him and her husband. All of these things could not happen in Hannah’s own strength from her place of deep despair, but the Lord was faithful to do these things! Her heart was changed, not because she got what she wanted, but because the Lord changed her heart when she sought Him and He enabled Hannah to see His goodness and to experience His peace. Even more than the blessing of a child, this was the reward of earnestly seeking the Lord!

How do I know that seeing the Lord was her reward, independantly from acheiving motherhood? Hannah experienced joy and peace and reconciliation even before she received the blessing of a child! Before she knew that she would be a mother, she learned to trust God in the midst of her trial and she was enabled to worship God and love others (like her husband). The story of Hannah in the Bible ends with her beautiful song of praise, right after she gives up her only child for service to the Lord! Something in Hannah's heart must have changed! God revealed more and more of His character to Hannah through her trial, and seeing His character grew love in her heart for Him, producing great joy and peace for her!

How many times have we prayed for a child! What a day it would be if the Lord sees fit to bless us with a child too! Yet, if He never does, I want to still trust Him and His character—His Lovingkindness, His Mercy, His Righteousness, His Justice, His Perfect Goodness, His Faithfulness, His Sovereignty, His Might, etc. More than any other blessing, I want to know Him, I want to see His beauty in increasing measure, I want to love Him, I want to treasure Him above all else, I want to worship Him, and I want to love others because of Him. These are my primary desires. I want these primary desires to trump all of my other desires, and I want my desire for children to flow only from these primary desires. My only hope for this is to keep going back to Lord humbly and honestly, like Hannah did. I must earnestly seek Him like Hannah did. What does it mean to seek Him earnestly? http://www.dictionary.com/ defines earnest as: 1. serious in intention, purpose, or effort; sincerely zealous: an earnest worker; 2. showing depth and sincerity of feeling: earnest words; an earnest entreaty; 3. seriously important; demanding or receiving serious attention.–noun 4. full seriousness, as of intention or purpose: to speak in earnest.

This definition of "earnest" helped shed light on Psalm 63 for me as David earnestly sought the Lord in the wilderness and in the midst of his trials. In David’s earnest (serious, intentional, sincere, zealous, important) seeking, the Lord revealed His goodness and satisfied David’s soul, bringing him joy, peace, and trust in the middle of uncertain circumstances. Every time I have earnestly sought the Lord, He has been faithful to reveal Himself to me. The result is more joy, peace, and trust in Him! Oh, that I would more often and more naturally seek Him earnestly in all the circumstances of my life so that I might be satisfied with His steadfast love that truly is better than life!

Psalm 63
O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you;my soul thirsts for you;my flesh faints for you,as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.2 So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary,beholding your power and glory.3 Because your steadfast love is better than life,my lips will praise you.4 So I will bless you as long as I live;in your name I will lift up my hands.
5 My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food,and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips,6 when I remember you upon my bed,and meditate on you in the watches of the night;7 for you have been my help,and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy.8 My soul clings to you;your right hand upholds me.
9 But those who seek to destroy my lifeshall go down into the depths of the earth;10 they shall be given over to the power of the sword;they shall be a portion for jackals.11 But the king shall rejoice in God;all who swear by him shall exult,for the mouths of liars will be stopped.

Help in the Time of Need

9 After they had eaten and drunk in Shiloh, Hannah rose. Now Eli the priest was sitting on the seat beside the doorpost of the temple of the Lord. 10 She was deeply distressed and prayed to the Lord and wept bitterly. 11 And she vowed a vow and said, “O Lord of hosts, if you will indeed look on the affliction of your servant and remember me and not forget your servant, but will give to your servant a son, then I will give him to the Lord all the days of his life, and no razor shall touch his head.”

12 As she continued praying before the Lord, Eli observed her mouth. 13 Hannah was speaking in her heart; only her lips moved, and her voice was not heard. Therefore Eli took her to be a drunken woman. 14 And Eli said to her, “How long will you go on being drunk? Put your wine away from you.” 15 But Hannah answered, “No, my lord, I am a woman troubled in spirit. I have drunk neither wine nor strong drink, but I have been pouring out my soul before the Lord. 16 Do not regard your servant as a worthless woman, for all along I have been speaking out of my great anxiety and vexation.” 17 Then Eli answered, “Go in peace, and the God of Israel grant your petition that you have made to him.” 18 And she said, “Let your servant find favor in your eyes.” Then the woman went her way and ate, and her face was no longer sad.

We pick up Hannah’s story after her husband talked to her about her all consuming sorrow. Although we don’t know if it happened immediately or easily, Hannah eventually responds to her husband’s rebuke with action. Verse 9 suggests that perhaps she finally emerged to participate in the worshipful feast by eating and drinking. More importantly, we do know that she finally poured her sorrowful heart out to God. Rather than remaining introspective or merely walking through the outward motions of participating in the feast, Hannah sought her Loving Father with a sincere and honest heart. In doing so, Hannah was living out Philippians 4:4-7:

"Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. 5 Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; 6 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

Interestingly, this verse commands us to rejoice. Yet, we cannot muster up joy. This task seems particularly impossible sorrowful circumstances. We are simply powerless to obey this command to rejoice in ourselves! However, this section of Scripture does give us the solution to this dilemma. Firstly, we are called to rejoice in the Lord. Our joy is not tied to our circumstances. If we are believers in the good news of the gospel (that our Good and Gracious God loves us and paid the ultimate sacrifice for relationship with us despite our rebellion against Him and redeems us from our sin so that we can enjoy Him forever) there is always reason for thanksgiving and always reason for joy. Secondly, it tells us that the Lord is at hand. He is near to us always. Thirdly, it tells us that we have access to our Lord to receive help. Rather than being anxious, we can pray and present our requests with thanksgiving to God. Finally, this section of Scripture tells us that God is faithful to give us peace that rises above our understanding. This peace defies our circumstances! HE is the one to guard our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus! Although we cannot rationalize our way to joy, it is God Himself can supernaturally fill us with the fruit of His Spirit—love, JOY, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self control. He delights to answer our prayers for this.

Luke 11:9-13: 9"So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 10For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. 11"Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead? 12Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? 13If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!"

We should never underestimate the value of going to Him in our sorrow. I love this illustration from one of my favorite theologians, Dr. Bruce Ware. In a sermon I heard him preach (I couldn’t find the link online unfortunately), Dr. Ware told us to imagine if one of his young daughters was riding her bike in the street in front of his house while he was sitting on the porch watching. He told us to imagine that his daughter fell off of her bike, scraped her knee, and started crying. Seeking comfort from her pain, the daughter immediately runs past her loving, concerned, father who is right in front of her, and instead runs over to the neighbor mowing his lawn. This would grieve a father who wants to comfort and protect his daughter in a way that only a father can. In a similar way, God wants us to go to Him with our sorrows! Unlike an earthly father, our Heavenly Father created us, knows us completely, loves us perfectly, designed us to need Him and to be fulfilled in Him alone, has the answer to every problem we face, and can do all things. He is the only One who can help us in the way that we need!

Getting back to Hannah…. she doesn’t try to clean herself up before going to the Lord. She doesn’t pretend to have things “together”. Instead, she is honest before her Loving Father and she pours out her heart to Him. She respectfully and humbly presents her request before God with faith in God’s ability to do anything He pleases.

Additionally, Hannah makes herself vulnerable and receives help from God’s people. We are told that she was so focused on her conversation with God, that Eli the priest mistook her intensity for drunkenness. Rather than getting indignant, proud, or rude because Eli misunderstood her situation, Hannah responded graciously in humility. Rather than shrinking back from community when she was misunderstood and wrongly rebuked, Hannah patiently explained her situation to Eli, which enabled him to join her in her prayer for a child. This is not an easy response. How many times do I shrink back when I hear an insensitive or misunderstanding comment about my infertility! However, I can also testify to the great blessing it is to allow myself to be real and honest with Christian brothers and sisters who can in turn encourage and pray for me!

After pouring her heart out to the Lord and confiding in a Christian brother who joined her in prayer, Hannah experienced peace. She was able to eat and her face was no longer sad. She did not have the child for which her heart longed, but she did have peace that surpassed all understanding because she finally laid out her heart to the Lord and He was faithful to give her peace.

Isaiah 53 calls Jesus “a man of sorrows”. Jesus responded to sorrow perfectly, and His life serves as our perfect model. He suffered greatly, and His time in the Garden of Gethsemane tells us that He took His sorrows to the Father! We are told in Luke 22:44 that “being in an agony he prayed more earnestly”. He did not make demands of God to change His circumstances. He humbly asked for relief, but He sought, asked for, and ultimately desired that only the Father’s will to be done. Jesus loves the Father and therefore desired to obey the Father more than He desired relief from His circumstances. He was ready to accept what the Father would give, even if it would break His heart. He sought strength and power from the Father through the Spirit to endure the Father’s will. He had faith in His Father’s character and purposes. He anticipated the joy set before Him (Hebrews 12:2 says that Jesus “for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross”). He was not immobilized by His pain, but rather moved forward in loving sacrificial service to others in the ultimate form. Because of this heart, the Father “highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.” (Phil 2:10-11)

While I cannot do these things in my own strength, I can follow Jesus’ example in going to the throne of grace (through prayer and the Word) to receive the help I need! I can honestly say that every time I have earnestly poured my heart out to God, He has been faithful to meet me as I sought Him--through my study of His word, through the Body of Christ, through circumstances, or through a song, a sermon, a book, etc.

Hebrews 4:14-16 Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. 15For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. 16Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for your faithfulness! Thank you that we have access to you through Jesus! Thank you that you give us your Spirit to guide and empower and equip us to live as you would have us to live. Thank you, Jesus, for your perfect example to us! Help us to follow that example by your Spirit, as we are powerless to do so without you! Thank you that you do not leave us as slaves to our sin or even to our emotions or circumstances. We believe your promises and truth about this. We come to you with our sorrow. We cry out to you for help, comfort, and peace. Protect us from sinning against you and against others. Reveal our sin to us and grant us repentance. Fill us with the power to endure patiently and lovingly. Give us joy in you despite our circumstances! Remind us of your faithfulness always. We are so grateful to you for the gospel! Help us to come around each other as the Body of Christ to give and receive love in sorrow. We also pray that you would grant our requests for our deferred hopes—whether that would be children, a spouse, a job, the salvation of a loved one, or whatever godly longing is in our heart. You are the giver of all good gifts. You are our Great Provider. All things are possible for you. Yet, we pray that your will would be done because we love and trust you, our Great Father. Please meet us in our time of need. In Jesus Name, Amen

All Consuming Sorrow

Dear Heavenly Father, Please reveal yourself to us as we open up your Word. Holy Spirit, open our eyes to see and believe and live your truth. May your Word sink into our souls and change us. May you be glorified by in this study. In Jesus Mighty Name, Amen.

1 Samuel 1:1-8 There was a certain man of Ramathaim-zophim of the hill country of Ephraim whose name was Elkanah the son of Jeroham, son of Elihu, son of Tohu, son of Zuph, an Ephrathite. 2 He had two wives. The name of the one was Hannah, and the name of the other, Peninnah. And Peninnah had children, but Hannah had no children.3 Now this man used to go up year by year from his city to worship and to sacrifice to the Lord of hosts at Shiloh, where the two sons of Eli, Hophni and Phinehas, were priests of the Lord. 4 On the day when Elkanah sacrificed, he would give portions to Peninnah his wife and to all her sons and daughters. 5 But to Hannah he gave a double portion, because he loved her, though the Lord had closed her womb. 6 And her rival used to provoke her grievously to irritate her, because the Lord had closed her womb. 7 So it went on year by year. As often as she went up to the house of the Lord, she used to provoke her. Therefore Hannah wept and would not eat. 8 And Elkanah, her husband, said to her, “Hannah, why do you weep? And why do you not eat? And why is your heart sad? Am I not more to you than ten sons?”

Hannah had it rough. Not only did she ache to be a mother, but she had to share her husband with another wife, and the other wife had his children and taunted her for her inability to conceive. We are told that this was a pattern in Hannah’s life year after year. I can imagine that with each year, it just got harder and harder for Hannah. Moreover, as often as Hannah faithfully went up to the house of the Lord, her rival provoked her! I could just imagine how confusing that must have been—especially knowing it was the Lord who closed her womb. Perhaps she wondered, “Lord, I am trying to obey you and follow your ways, why would you withhold the blessing of a child from me while you bless Penninah who sinfully mocks me all the time?” Or maybe she asked, “Lord, isn’t it enough that I don’t have children and Peninnah does, why must I bear her provocations as well?”

Regardless of what she was thinking, we do know that Hannah’s pain overwhelmed her to the point of weeping and not eating. To further grasp the significance of this, it is helpful to have a little background here. Elkanah had gone to Shiloh to participate in one of three holy feasts to worship and offer joyful sacrifices to God. After the sacrifice was made, the offerer could eat of it and distribute it to those whom he chose. Theologian John Wesley's sermon notes on this passage tell us this: "Out of the sacrifice of his peace - offerings, the greatest part whereof fell to the offerer, and was eaten by him, and his friends or guests, before the Lord. And out of this he gave them all portions, as the master of the feast used to do to the guests. " Elkanah gave Hannah the gift of a double portion of this offering as a demonstration of love for her. It was to be eaten by her in joyful worship to God. Instead of accepting the loving gift from her husband and participating in this act of worship to God, Hannah was distracted by her sorrow. Her sorrow became all consuming. As Bible Commentator Matthew Henry describes, “It made her uneasy to herself and to all her relations. She did not eat of the feast; her trouble took away her appetite, made her unfit for any company, and a jar in the harmony of family-joy.”

Hannah’s husband tries to cheer her up. We don’t know what Hannah thought of her husband’s words initially. Maybe she thought, “Why can’t you just understand what I am going through?” Maybe she thought, “You are right, I should not allow myself to drown in my sorrow and introspection.” There does seem to be some rebuke in what Elkanah was saying to her about the way she was being consumed by this struggle. The Expositor’s Bible Commentary says:

Elkanah, mindful of Hannah's grief, asked her, "Why are you downhearted?" (v.8). More literally the question is, "Why is your heart bad?" The only other precise OT parallel for this phrase is Deuteronomy 15:10: "Do so without a grudging heart" (lit., "May your heart not be bad when you do so!" [i.e., when you give generously to the Lord]). To do something "with a bad heart" means to do it resentfully (or grudgingly; so NIV on Deut 15:10). Thus Elkanah is not so much asking Hannah why her heart is sad ("Why are you downhearted?") but why her heart is bad ("Why are you resentful?"). Are you angry or full of spite because you do not have children? "Don't I"—your husband, who loves you very much—"mean more to you than ten sons?"

While the passage does not explicitly say so, I am inclined to agree with these commentators that there was something sinful in Hannah’s all-consuming response to her situation and that her husband was gently calling her out on it. Like Hannah, I sometimes find myself drowning in my own pain to the exclusion of all others. I compare my situation with others, and I often find that I have been given the short end of the stick—minimizing the pain of others and amplifying my own. I get self-absorbed and self-consumed to the extent that it interferes with my ability to love others—to rejoice with those who rejoice, to mourn with those who mourn, and to humbly and sacrificially serve. I lose sight of my blessings and instead zoom in on the circumstances that cause me pain. I think this was Hannah’s sin too.

I love this observation by Matthew Henry about the state of Hannah’s mourning: “… it was her infirmity so far to give way to the sorrow of the world as to unfit herself for holy joy in God. Those that are of a fretful spirit, and are apt to lay provocations too much to heart, are enemies to themselves, and strip themselves very much of the comforts both of life and godliness.”

Our sorrows should not overshadow our joy in the Lord if we believe the good news of the Gospel and if we desire and worship the Lord above all things. Our desires for changed circumstances should not overshadow our desire for the God and for His good and perfect will. Our suffering should not distract us from loving those around us. Our feelings do not entitle us to “let go” and behave however we feel to the neglect of God and others.

I want to be clear about what I am not saying though--I am not saying that there is something wrong with grieving. We see this picture of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane. In the garden, Jesus anticipated: bearing the full weight of the sins of the world, absorbing the full wrath against those sins, being separated from the Father with whom He enjoyed perfect relationship, enduring the mocking scorn of the creation He rightfully ruled, being abandoned by His friends, and suffering the excruciating pain and brutality of it all. Matthew 26:37 tells us that Jesus was sorrowful “even to the point of death”. Luke 22:44 tells us that in His agony, Jesus’ sweat became like great drops of blood falling to the ground. Jesus did not sin in any of the emotions He experienced.

We have much to learn in what Jesus did do in His sorrow. We’ll talk more about that next time. In the meantime, I’ll close with this quote from John Piper:

If there were no afflictions and difficulties and troubles and pain, our fallen hearts would fall ever more deeply in love with the comforts and securities and pleasures of this world instead of falling more deeply in love with our inheritance beyond this world, namely, God himself. Suffering is appointed for us in this life as a great mercy to keep us from loving this world more than we should and to make us rely on God who raises the dead. "Through many tribulations we must enter the kingdom of God" (Acts 14:22).
There is no other way. Do not begrudge them. They are hard to bear. I know they are. But if you keep your inheritance before you, and if God gives you the grace to see what Paul calls "the riches of the glory of his inheritance" (Ephesians 1:18), then will you not say with the apostle, "I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us"? –John Piper, from his sermon, “Children, Heirs, and Fellow Sufferers,” available at: http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/Sermons/ByDate/2002/89_Children_Heirs_and_Fellow_Sufferers/

Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for your Word and the way it speaks to every circumstance in our lives. Thank you that there is purpose in suffering and that you do not leave us alone in it. Just as Jesus wept with Mary and Martha at the death of Lazarus, I know you weep with us in our pain as well. Please make us faithful in the way that we suffer. May we never desire anything or anyone more than we desire you! Please forgive us for our lack of desire for you and fill us with an all consuming hunger for you. Forgive us for being self-absorbed and demanding. Forgive us for excusing our sins on the basis of the emotions we feel. Sometimes it feels so overwhelming. Clearly we do not have the power to do this on our own. Please give us the strength and the power of your Spirit to resist our sinful inclinations. By your Spirit, may we keep our eyes on you rather than on ourselves or our circumstances. Please fill us with love for you to endure our circumstances with patience. Please fill us with love for others so that we can humbly and sincerely serve others out of love. I ask all of this in Jesus' name, Amen.

Hope Deferred

Psalm 127 calls children “a heritage from the Lord” and “the fruit of the womb a reward.”

Psalm 128:3 says of the man who fears the Lord, “Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your sons will be like olive shoots around your table.”

I want to be a fruitful vine. I want to know the blessing of children. I want to teach my children to love the Lord with all their heart, soul and might as Deuteronomy 6 instructs.

But for many of us--for reasons we cannot understand--our Gracious, Loving, and Mighty God has closed our wombs. Each month, our hopes of welcoming and nurturing a new life into this world are exchanged for cramps and bleeding. We do not know when or whether we will be given the gift of children. We experience the pain and sickness that comes with the “hope deferred” that is described in Proverbs 13:12. We fight against sins like bitterness, anger, jealousy, and discontentment that rise up within us. Yet in Christ and through the Holy Spirit, God promises us a deeper joy and a name that is better than sons and daughters. God calls us to be fruitful in every season of life, whether or not we have the blessing of motherhood. He even empowers us to resist the temptations of sin that comes along with each of our trials.

Last year, I led a ministry for infertile women at our church. As part of this ministry, I took a deeper look at the story of Hannah in the book of 1 Samuel. This passage of Scripture has so much encouragement for women undergoing infertility (and really for anyone with any kind of hope deferred). Hannah experienced the pain of infertility. While Hannah’s infertility eventually ended with pregnancy, her story tells us that there is an even greater blessing than motherhood. Her painful journey brought her to a place of much joy. In my next couple blog posts, I plan to discuss this in greater detail. I pray that the Lord would reveal Himself to us as we read this passage of Scripture:

1 Samuel 1:1-28 and 1 Samuel 2:1-11

There was a certain man of Ramathaim-zophim of the hill country of Ephraim whose name was Elkanah the son of Jeroham, son of Elihu, son of Tohu, son of Zuph, an Ephrathite. 2 He had two wives. The name of the one was Hannah, and the name of the other, Peninnah. And Peninnah had children, but Hannah had no children.

3 Now this man used to go up year by year from his city to worship and to sacrifice to the Lord of hosts at Shiloh, where the two sons of Eli, Hophni and Phinehas, were priests of the Lord. 4 On the day when Elkanah sacrificed, he would give portions to Peninnah his wife and to all her sons and daughters. 5 But to Hannah he gave a double portion, because he loved her, though the Lord had closed her womb. 6 And her rival used to provoke her grievously to irritate her, because the Lord had closed her womb. 7 So it went on year by year. As often as she went up to the house of the Lord, she used to provoke her. Therefore Hannah wept and would not eat. 8 And Elkanah, her husband, said to her, “Hannah, why do you weep? And why do you not eat? And why is your heart sad? Am I not more to you than ten sons?”

9 After they had eaten and drunk in Shiloh, Hannah rose. Now Eli the priest was sitting on the seat beside the doorpost of the temple of the Lord. 10 She was deeply distressed and prayed to the Lord and wept bitterly. 11 And she vowed a vow and said, “O Lord of hosts, if you will indeed look on the affliction of your servant and remember me and not forget your servant, but will give to your servant a son, then I will give him to the Lord all the days of his life, and no razor shall touch his head.”

12 As she continued praying before the Lord, Eli observed her mouth. 13 Hannah was speaking in her heart; only her lips moved, and her voice was not heard. Therefore Eli took her to be a drunken woman. 14 And Eli said to her, “How long will you go on being drunk? Put your wine away from you.” 15 But Hannah answered, “No, my lord, I am a woman troubled in spirit. I have drunk neither wine nor strong drink, but I have been pouring out my soul before the Lord. 16 Do not regard your servant as a worthless woman, for all along I have been speaking out of my great anxiety and vexation.” 17 Then Eli answered, “Go in peace, and the God of Israel grant your petition that you have made to him.” 18 And she said, “Let your servant find favor in your eyes.” Then the woman went her way and ate, and her face was no longer sad.

19 They rose early in the morning and worshiped before the Lord; then they went back to their house at Ramah. And Elkanah knew Hannah his wife, and the Lord remembered her. 20 And in due time Hannah conceived and bore a son, and she called his name Samuel, for she said, “I have asked for him from the Lord.”

21 The man Elkanah and all his house went up to offer to the Lord the yearly sacrifice and to pay his vow. 22 But Hannah did not go up, for she said to her husband, “As soon as the child is weaned, I will bring him, so that he may appear in the presence of the Lord and dwell there forever.” 23 Elkanah her husband said to her, “Do what seems best to you; wait until you have weaned him; only, may the Lord establish his word.” So the woman remained and nursed her son until she weaned him. 24 And when she had weaned him, she took him up with her, along with a three-year-old bull, an ephah of flour, and a skin of wine, and she brought him to the house of the Lord at Shiloh. And the child was young. 25 Then they slaughtered the bull, and they brought the child to Eli. 26 And she said, “Oh, my lord! As you live, my lord, I am the woman who was standing here in your presence, praying to the Lord. 27 For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted me my petition that I made to him. 28 Therefore I have lent him to the Lord. As long as he lives, he is lent to the Lord.” And he worshiped the Lord there.

2:1 And Hannah prayed and said,

“My heart exults in the Lord;
my strength is exalted in the Lord.
My mouth derides my enemies,
because I rejoice in your salvation.
2 “There is none holy like the Lord;
there is none besides you;
there is no rock like our God.
3 Talk no more so very proudly,
let not arrogance come from your mouth;
for the Lord is a God of knowledge,
and by him actions are weighed.
4 The bows of the mighty are broken,
but the feeble bind on strength.
5 Those who were full have hired themselves out for bread,
but those who were hungry have ceased to hunger.
The barren has borne seven,
but she who has many children is forlorn.
6 The Lord kills and brings to life;
he brings down to Sheol and raises up.
7 The Lord makes poor and makes rich;
he brings low and he exalts.
8 He raises up the poor from the dust;
he lifts the needy from the ash heap
to make them sit with princesand inherit a seat of honor.
For the pillars of the earth are the Lord's,
and on them he has set the world.
9 “He will guard the feet of his faithful ones,
but the wicked shall be cut off in darkness,
for not by might shall a man prevail.
10 The adversaries of the Lord shall be broken to pieces;
against them he will thunder in heaven.
The Lord will judge the ends of the earth;
he will give strength to his kingand exalt the power of his anointed.”

11 Then Elkanah went home to Ramah. And the boy ministered to the Lord in the presence of Eli the priest.

Fighting Lies with the Truth

This Saturday, Kristian and I will have been married for 5 years. We are both 32 years old. Despite the fact that we both love and want children, we have no children. We recognize the high value and honor placed on children and families in Scripture. We recognize that childbearing, like marriage, is a blessing and a tool for sanctification and for reflecting the gospel. While marriage and children are not the only blessings in life or the only tools for sanctification and reflecting the gospel in community, most human beings experience these aspects of life.

The older we get, the more difficult it is for us to consider our infertility. When I think about it, I often find myself battling despair. The battle is against my own flesh, worldliness, and lies of the enemy. I fight to take my thoughts captive to Christ through Scripture.

These are the lies I hear from my flesh/worldliness/the enemy:

1. I am less valuable as a woman without a child
2. My husband and I are not a “family” unless we have children
3. God doesn’t love us if He does not bless us with children
4. God is punishing us
5. Our lives will be meaningless without children
6. We will die alone without children
7. Our family and friends will abandon us as they have children and get caught up in the busyness of family life
8. Since I am not working now and I don’t have children my life is a waste
9. We’ll never be able to afford adoption

The above are lies, and Scripture tells me the truth:

1. My value comes from being made in the image and likeness of God (Genesis 1:27 “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.”)

2. Firstly, I belong to the family of the God of the Universe, as His child, regardless of my membership in any earthly family. (Romans 8:15 “For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, ‘Abba! Father!’ ”). Secondly, my husband and I are a family. (Genesis 2:24 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”)

3. Yes, children are a blessing (Psalm 127:3 “Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.”). However, God’s love for me is not contingent on children or on anything. Indeed, Jesus Himself lived as a single childless man! Nothing can separate me from God’s love. (Romans 8:38-39 “For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." The greatest evidence of this love is Jesus’ death for me on the cross. (John 3:16 “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.” )

4. God does not punish me for sin because Jesus paid the price for all my sin on the cross. The Lamb of God was a worthy sacrifice to fully absorb the wrath of God for my sins. (Romans 5:6-9 “For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die— but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God.” Romans 8:1-4 “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.” 2 Cor 5:21 “For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” )

5. The meaning of my life comes from Christ. Everything in my life has meaning only because of Christ. To make the meaning of my life contingent on anything other than the Lord, is to make that thing an idol. (Phil 3:8-11 “Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith— that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead.” God wants me to be rooted in His love and to abide in His love. (John 15:9 “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love.” Ephesians 3:14-19 “For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.”) God is sovereignly working out all things in my life for my good- to conform me to the image of Jesus. (Romans 8:28 “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”) God wants me to love Him and others. (Matthew 22: 37-40 “And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.”)

6. God does not leave me alone. As Psalm 139:7 says, "Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence?” In John 14:18 Jesus told his disciples “I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.” As Jesus promised, His Spirit is with me. (John 14:26-27 “But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.” )

7. See #6. I am a valued member of the body of Christ. (1 Cor 12:27 “Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it.”) Children or no children, I am part of the community of Christ. As a member of Christ’s body, God has gifted me and wants me to be a blessing to others. I can be a blessing to children and families even if I do not have a child. (1 Cor 12:7 “To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good.”)

8. See #5. Also, as a wife, God wants me to be a helper to my husband. (Gen 2:18 “Then the Lord God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.’” Proverbs 31: 10-12 “An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.”) In considering whether or not to work outside of the home, I should look to what God and my husband are asking me do rather than what others think of it. (Ephesians 5:22 “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” Col 3:18 “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.”)

9. If God calls us to have children, He will provide the means whether that is through physical healing for biological birth, financial provision, or adoption opportunities. Nothing is impossible for my God, and nothing will thwart His will. (Isaiah 46:8-11 “Remember this and stand firm,recall it to mind, you transgressors, remember the former things of old;for I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like me, declaring the end from the beginning and from ancient times things not yet done, saying, ‘My counsel shall stand, and I will accomplish all my purpose’, calling a bird of prey from the east, the man of my counsel from a far country. I have spoken, and I will bring it to pass; I have purposed, and I will do it.” Luke 1:37 “For nothing will be impossible with God.” Ephesians 2:10 “For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.”)

Do you feel despair over your life? Are you believing lies? To borrow Paul’s words in 2 Cor 12:4-6 “For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ…” Paul used these words to describe his ministry, but I do think they have application to the “arguments” and lofty opinions” we listen to in the form of our flesh, worldiness, and the lies of the enemy that are raised against the knowledge of God. Let us take these thoughts captive to Christ through His Word, through prayer, and through calling on the Spirit that lives within us! Let us ask the Spirit to open our eyes to where we are believing lies in our lives. Let us ask the Spirit to replace the lies with the truth found in God’s Word! Join me in praying to God for help to see our lives from the perspective of His Word, which is truth! Let us open His Word and fight! Let us pray for one another and encourage one another in this!