Heartbreak

I am both brokenhearted and a heartbreaker.

No, I am not a heartbreaker in the Hollywood sense, nor have I ever had a broken heart in the Hollywood sense.  (In fact, I have never been through a break up at all since Kristian is the only person I have ever dated.)  Still, like any married couple, Kristian and I have broken each other’s hearts many times by our sin against each other.  And in addition to breaking his heart,  I am also sad to say that I have broken many other hearts by my own sin (such as pride, selfishness, selfish ambition, fear of man, lack of love, bitterness, ignorance, apathy, judgmental-ness, overbearingness, laziness, etc. and etc.)  And like everyone else, I have also had my heart broken by others in this way.  

In addition to causing heartbreak to ourselves and others, our sin against one another and the resulting damage also grieves the God who loves us! 

“And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”

(Ephesians 4:30-32 ESV)

In recent years, a major source of heartbreak in my life has been from brokenness in the Body of Christ.   This type of heartbreak in the Body of Christ is hard to handle because it seems that we should know better in that we have witnessed and experienced the most profound, amazing, other-worldly love—the love of God demonstrated in Christ!!   

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
(John 13:34-35 ESV)

From this verse, we see that:

1) God calls us to love one another;

2) God has loved us;  

3) God’s love for us in Jesus is the model for how we are to love each other; and

4) The way that everyone will know that we belong to Jesus is by our Christ-like love for one another.

This an easily overlooked, but very profound and vital truth.  God calls us to love, not as the world loves, but in the way that He loves us—sincerely, effacaciously, affectionately, sacrificially and scandalously!  He demonstrated His love for us through great sacrifice even while we were His enemies!  He stood up for us against our accuser (and still does)!  And when we love with THIS kind of lavish other-worldly love, people will know that we are His!!

In recent years, I have witnessed and experienced conflict in the Body of Christ unlike what I have ever experienced before and it has caused my heart to ache in ways it has never done before—both because of my own sin and the sin of others.  I have seen and experienced abandonment, slander, false accusations, and friendships that have ended in angry lashing out or fizzled out in quiet indifference.  These things are caused by pride, selfish ambition, selfishness, apathy, fear of man, and a plain old lack of love—the kind of love that pursues, engages, forgives, blesses and sacrifices.   I know that this shouldn’t surprises us as we look at our hearts that still struggle with sin and as we consider that God is still patiently opening all of our eyes and gradually transforming all of us.  Yet, the more and more we see and experience the amazing ways that God loves us and calls us to love one another, the more we ache when we do not see this kind of love in ourselves and in other believers.   "For in this tent we groan, longing to put on our heavenly dwelling..."
(2 Corinthians 5:2 ESV)

My heart is so raw and heavy right now.  If there is anyone out there in cyberspace reading this, will you pray with me?

Heavenly Father, Have mercy on us!   Father, we have not been good image bearers of you.  We have not loved you or others as we ought.  We have forgotten the way that you have loved us when we were your enemy, and accordingly we have not loved others with this kind of love!  Please convict us—convict your Church that we may see our folly!!  Open our eyes to the ways you are calling us to love with sincerity, with truth, with compassion, and with action!  Help us to see your love more and more—help us to be rooted in your love more and more deeply.  May loving others in this way flow out of us as we behold your love for us in your Word.  Bring healing and reconciliation to brothers and sisters in Christ, just as you brought us healing and reconciliation when our sin separated us from you!!  Our hearts are broken over this sin and disunity.  Bind up our broken hearts.  Be near to us.  Bring us comfort and help, we plead with you.  You alone are good!!!  In Jesus Name, Amen

Gospel Life

Here are some notes from Kristian’s sermon last Sunday.  It will be available online soon here: http://www.gracepugetsound.com/sermons/

This was the text:

 1 John 2:7-11 ESV

 “Beloved, I am writing you no new commandment, but an old commandment that you had from the beginning. The old commandment is the word that you have heard. At the same time, it is a new commandment that I am writing to you, which is true in him and in you, because the darkness is passing away and the true light is already shining. Whoever says he is in the light and hates his brother is still in darkness. Whoever loves his brother abides in the light, and in him there is no cause for stumbling. But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks in the darkness, and does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded his eyes.”

Basically, Kristian’s point was that true “Gospel Life” is marked by love and change from the heart.  Gospel love is not like worldly love—it is scandalous, sacrificial, pursuing, sincere, and steadfast because it mirrors God’s love is for us.  God demonstrates His love for us through this time of love and calls us to do likewise.  Ephesians 5:1-2 tells us, “Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.”  Every act of obedience has its proper context only in this kind of love—in love for God and love for people (see 1 Cor 13 and Galatians 5:6 and John 15).  Any act of morality or mere behavior modification apart from this love is meaningless because love is the point of obedience.  And we cannot love like this on our own, but God changes our hearts—as we seek His face, He puts this love in our hearts, even for our enemies and those who hurt and betrayed us.  Experiencing God’s love changes us from the inside out.  Saving faith is proven genuine by its fruit, namely sincere love that results in affection coupled with action.  In John 13:35, Jesus says, “By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

 I also appreciated Kristian’s definitions of walking in the light and walking in darkness:

"WALKING IN DARKNESS

To unrepentantly walk in a way which neither loves and honors God nor loves and honors His people by denying our own sinfulness, refusing to live in fellowship with God’s people and lacking completely in love for God and His people as evidenced by our treatment of each other and our lack of obedience to God’s commandments which are summed up in love.

WALKING IN THE LIGHT

To live a life of daily confession and repentance of sin in fellowship with God’s people having a heart of love for God and His people as evidenced by our treatment of each other and our obedience to God’s commandments which are summed up in love."

                                                                                    -----Kristian Ellefsen

Brawling in the Church

My favorite way to work out is on a machine with a television or ipod to distract me. Yesterday, I had the treat of working out on a fancy cool elliptical machine with a built-in fan and television. As I started my workout and turned on CNN, I was sad to hear a headline about a church congregation that erupted into a physical brawl over church governance. While the outrageous footage rolled, the broadcaster laughingly asked, “What would Jesus do”?


These words of Jesus came to mind:

John 13:35 “By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

Yikes.

While this news story made me cringe, it also made me think of some of the other ways we Christians (I) sinfully misrepresent Christ to each other and to unbelievers. For most of us, our contentious behavior does not look like the brawling footage I saw on CNN, instead it looks like quarreling, not speaking to each other, avoiding each other, being cold, ignoring, shunning, shaming, being apathetic towards, and generally engaging unloving behaviors between husbands and wives, parents and children, and with our brothers and sisters, the person sitting across the aisle in church from us, or the person in the church down the street from us. Rather than an all out fist brawl, it looks more like being selfish and petty with my husband over something stupid, being overbearing with my sisters, being disrespectful or impatient with my elderly parents, not working through conflict or suffering long with my brothers and sisters in Christ, etc.

The Lord has had me meditating on this verse for the past few days:

1 Peter 3:8-9 “Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind.”

This is Jesus’ vision for His church—for our marriages, for our parents and children, for our brothers and sisters, for our churches, for those brothers and sisters who worship at the church up the street from us, and for those brothers and sisters who worship on the other side of the world from us.

Unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind is a tall order when conflicts and injustice arise. Interestingly enough, when Peter gives this exhortation, he is actually speaking into the context of Christians who are experiencing conflict, injustice, and persecution. These things still arise for us today in a world where we all still sin against each other and damage to one another still ensues. When these things happen, unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind are not natural to us! Do you think they were natural to the brawling church in North Carolina? Do you think they are natural in even less dramatic conflicts within the church? Do you think they are natural to me when I am in an argument with my husband and I feel like he has treated me unfairly?

In these moments, unity of mind is hard to fight for. Although the mind of Christ is available to us by the Spirit and through the Word, in moments where we are in conflict we can quickly rely instead on our own hot emotions, instincts, rights, and desires—after all, we have been wounded, and we want to wound in return or at least retreat. In these moments, we often do not stop to pray, and we often do not stop to remember and apply what we know from God’s Word. And sometimes we do not even know how God’s Word would apply because we have failed to study it out of misplaced priorities or our selfish desires to do our own thing. (Hebrews 5:11-14 “About this we have much to say, and it is hard to explain, since you have become dull of hearing. 12 For though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you again the basic principles of the oracles of God. You need milk, not solid food, 13 for everyone who lives on milk is unskilled in the word of righteousness, since he is a child. 14 But solid food is for the mature, for those who have their powers of discernment trained by constant practice to distinguish good from evil.”) Then, when moments of conflict come, we are left without our arsenal in the battle against our own flesh (in particular think sword of the Spirit, which is the Word according to Ephesians 6:7). In fact, when we don’t know the Word of God through continued prayerful study on our own and with other believers, we can hardly tell the difference between our own instincts/worldly philosophies and the way of Christ. And there is a way to us that may seem wise, but is in fact worldly:

James 3:13-18 “Who is wise and understanding among you? By his good conduct let him show his works in the meekness of wisdom. 14 But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. 15 This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. 16 For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice. 17 But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. 18 And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.”

When we aren’t operating from the mind of Christ, we do not have unity of mind. Sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind do not follow because these things are the opposite of what the world and our own fallen hearts tell us to do when we experience conflict and injustice. We have no sympathy for our brother and sister because we are so wrapped up in protecting our own comforts, interests, desires, joys, concerns, struggles, ambitions, and missions that we do not consider the interests of those with whom we experience conflict. Sometimes we even justify our sinful behavior as a means to an end in our service “to God” or “to others” in our life. This is like when I have snapped at my husband for asking me to do something for him while I am busy trying to prepare for guests in our home—I was being ungracious to my husband in the interest of being gracious to others. This is not honoring to God, even though I am deluding myself into thinking that my snapping at my husband is a necessary means to the end of serving God through showing hospitality to guests in our home. While I am called to show hospitality, the heart and the means matter a great deal to God—as we see in Jesus’ interactions with the Pharisees who frequently stepped on others in their attempts to “serve God” and further “His mission”.

In our conflicts with believers (family, friends, church members, or other Christians), we can forget that we are members of one another--as Christ’s precious Body, and so instead of brotherly love, we easily insist on our own ways at the expense of others, disregard one another, give one another the “ice treatment” and even cut one another off. We fail to suffer long with each other—growing impatient with the slow growth of others or the slow grieving/pain timeline of others. When sin rears its ugly head as it inevitably does this side of heaven, we fail to do the hard work of love—working through conflict by beginning with prayer, humbly examining our own hearts, confessing our own sin, pursuing the person with whom we have conflict, involving a trusted mediator if needed, involving a pastor/leader if needed, continuing to steadfastly pray when all of these steps have been exhausted, and then eagerly welcoming it if the day comes when our brother and sister desire reconciliation. When our brother or sister has counsel for us that we do not like, instead of having a tender humble heart and praying about it, consulting the Word, and involving other believers, we ignore this counsel or fight against it and we allow our hardened response to come in between our relationships with our brothers and our sisters. Resentment grows. We start to consider our friends our “enemies” and “critics”. Whether they are right or even if they are wrong in their counsel, we would rather not engage with our brother and sister anymore.

In these conflicts, we are not willing to die to ourselves, instead, we wish harm on our brother or sister, or we withhold forgiveness, or we are content to move on rather than continuing in brotherly love. We part ways through apathy, resentment, or anger, and we do this sometimes quietly and sometimes loudly. We quietly forge our own path way from each other or we forcibly steamroll right over each other. Or sometimes we do attempt to walk through conflict with our brothers and sisters—but we manipulate and maneuver our way in fear and desperation, rather than seeking guidance from God about the steps He is calling us to take in these specific situations in faith. Or we compromise the truth for a quick fix, setting ourselves for growing distance, distrust, resentment, and bitterness. While it is not always our sin that causes us to part ways with our brother or sister, sometimes we are content to forget about our brother and sister—not persevering in love, not praying for them, ignoring Spirit brought opportunities to bless them, or allowing bitterness to creep up. Or we mercilessly reject their imperfect attempts to pursue reconciliation and relationship with us. In all of these scenarios, we have lost our spouse, our parent, our child, our brother or sister, our friend. This grieves God and should grieve us.

Sometimes our sin in conflict is a result of weary and broken hearts. Most of us have experienced betrayal, abandonment, rejection, and mistreatment from our brothers and sisters in Christ. We have wounded and been wounded by believers through careless words and actions, malicious words and actions, and through what feels the worst of all sometimes—ignoring and being ignored. Instead of seeking forgiveness, healing, and empowerment for obedience at the feet of our Savior through prayer, the Word, and the help of our brothers and sisters in Christ, we disengage. We become afraid of the pain. We become afraid to tell the truth. We become afraid of how others will see us and what will happen to us. We become afraid to die to ourselves and to live to Christ. We become afraid of whether Christ will be enough as we expose ourselves to more betrayal, abandonment, rejection, and mistreatment.

So what is the answer? The gospel is still the answer. The gospel still works. It is finished. Jesus died for my sins once and for all. Jesus did the same for for the believer with whom I am experiencing conflict too. Jesus has promised that He will not leave me the same—that He is transforming me from one degree of glory to the next by His grace. This is true for the believer with whom I am experiencing conflict. While I was still rejecting God—dead in my sin—Christ demonstrated His lavish love for me with forgiveness and grace, not returning reviling for reviling. He calls me to do the same—to love and forgive and bless even to those who have wounded me the most. Jesus removed the barrier between me and God, so that now I can freely go before the throne of grace to receive every help that I need with no shame. I can confess my sin to Him and receive forgiveness. I can continually take all my sorrows and wounds to Him, as He cares for me and He is the Great Healer and Comforter and Peace Giver (the kind of peace that surpasses understanding—that defies my circumstances). I can ask Him to fill me to the brim with His Spirit so that by His grace my mind can be united with His, and so that I can be filled with sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind towards others, even those who have hurt me. By His empowering grace, I can do the hard work of love because it no longer matters what others think of me or what will happen to me. Christ is gain, all else is rubbish in comparison. And while it will hurt, the suffering of this life does not compare with the inexpressible joy of knowing Jesus now and the eternal weight of glory that awaits us. Jesus has given me His Word, and I can read it and pray through it and find comfort and guidance there. As the Word tells me about the mind of Christ, the Spirit also convicts my heart through it. Jesus has given me the gift of being part of the church—of having His grace administered to me through His people and through the gifts that He has given them. I can humbly confess my sins to them and receive help from them because I have nothing to prove. And because I have nothing to prove and because it is Jesus who has done all the work in saving me—I can walk in the light before unbelievers. I can be real with them—not having to pretend that I am better than I actually am. God’s power and glory and goodness can be displayed through my weakness. And by His grace, they can see His love in me—through what He has done for me and through His enabling of me to love others. And they can joyfully partake in it too.

Heavenly Father, Thank you for your Word and all that it reveals to me about who you are are! You are the God of love. Thank you for showing me such extravagant love. Thank you for humbling yourself to save and bless me, even when I rejected you. Thank you for still pursuing me, even as I still sin against you and your people. Thank you for not giving up on me. Thank you for your long suffering. Empower me to love like you do by your grace! Help me to be humble. Show me the ways I sin against you and your people, and help me to repent to you and to them. Protect my heart from being hard. Protect me from being wise in my own eyes. Help me to submit to accountability among your people. Teach me your Word in such a way that I would recognize and rely on it even in times of trial and temptation. Give me a hunger for it and help me to prioritize knowing it. Help me to be a doer of your Word. Show me the specific ways you want me to bless those who have cursed me—show me if there are actions you want me to take and show me if you want me to simply wait patiently. In either case, fill my heart with love for them. Work in their hearts and in mine. Whether you call me to act or to wait, help me to persevere in prayer, not out of duty but out of love. Help me to display your love to everyone I encounter—by letting others see the way that your love is working in my life through my own weakness, by demonstrating the kind of love that returns blessing for reviling, by honoring the Body of Christ for which you gave yourself up, and by blessing and serving those to whom you have called me—believers and unbelievers. In Jesus Mighty Name, Amen.

The Least of These

A few years back, I read a great book called “Jesus in the Margins: Finding God in the Places We Ignore” by Rick McKinley. One of the points of the book was that Jesus spent His life on earth in the margins—seeking out people who lived in the margins. As I read the gospels, it truly does amaze me to think that the God of the Universe spent a lot of His time giving one-on-one attention to people whom many might describe as outcastes, nobodies, insignificant, powerless, uninteresting, unsavory, and basically a waste of time, energy, and resources—especially for an important person like Jesus! And yet we see Jesus investing in a group of humble fishermen who were sometimes pretty slow and sometimes even disloyal to Jesus. We see Jesus reaching out to people who were suffering from sickness, disease, pain, and demon oppression in a society where these types of suffering were often presumed to be a punishment for some wrong committed by the ones who suffered them. In the Beatitudes, we hear Jesus called “blessed” those who mourn, those who are poor in spirit, those who are meek, those who are persecuted, etc. We see Jesus speak to and heal a leper, who was quite literally an outcaste in society. We see Jesus talk to and help women, even though women were like second class citizens compared to men. We see Jesus reach out to a Samaritan woman who was despised due to racism and due to her promiscuity. We see Jesus reach out to a woman caught in adultery and we see him stand up for her publicly, even though it probably created a lot of enemies for him. We see Jesus encourage children to come to him, even though others tried to keep the children from “bothering” an important man like Jesus. We see Jesus seek out an unpopular cheating tax collector who was hanging out in a tree. The list goes on and on. We see Jesus, the most important man who ever lived, invest his time, attention, and resources in people who were deemed unworthy by the rest of the world.
It is truly humbling to think about who Jesus interacted with and how.

It is so much easier for me to invest in, notice, listen to, and help people who love me, people who are pleasant, people who are popular, people who entertain me, people who are like me, people who can give me something, or people who can help me accomplish something (even many good things)! But Jesus calls me to so much more than this. When the opportunities come, Lord Jesus, don’t let me be too “busy” (read “self important” or “lazy” or “selfish” or “distracted by the wrong things”) to notice and obey in love!

Matthew 25:40 “And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’”


Galatians 6: 9 “And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. 10 So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith.”


Proverbs 3 27-28 “ Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to do it. 28 Do not say to your neighbor, ‘Go, and come again, tomorrow I will give it’—when you have it with you.”

Romans 12

Sometimes I am confused, perplexed, and hurt by relationships in the Body of Christ.  The Word puts such an emphasis on love and unity in the Body of Christ--the Bride who Jesus has randsomed and is redeeming.  And yet, the Body of Christ is such a mess in so many ways.  I know that I am a mess too and part of the problem as a sinner who is too often proud, judgmental, lazy, self-interested, selfish, naive and foolishly too quick to react sometimes, etc (there are lots more to add to this list).  I understand why there is conflict in the Body of Christ--as we all sin against each other.  In my head, I know I should not be surprised to see these ugly things in myself and in the Body of Christ, but the damage caused by these messy interactions does cause pain that spins me around sometimes.

I have a hard time understanding why brothers and sisters in Christ would not try to resolve and persevere through conflict, not compromising on Biblical truth, but also not compromising on Biblical love.  I don't understand how there could be burned bridges in the Body of Christ.  I don't understand how friendships could end so easily in the Body of Christ when our lives are built on the hope of eternal life together with God.  In this way, it seems that the Body of Christ does not look so different from the rest of the world who has not encountered Jesus' life changing love. 

When I feel discouraged, hurt, depressed and spun around about this, I love to go to Romans 12 for perspective.  Jesus, help us live and love like this--in this radical way!!  Let us sense the weightiness of the fact that we are one body in you and that we are individually members of one another! Help me to have a humble, servant heart that sincerely loves through conflict and hurt by your Spirit!   Give me a perspective to see beyond the standards of this world, so that I would not be conformed to the standards of the world, but rather that I would be renewed in your way and standards!  Help me to know the difference between your way and worldliness.  Help me not to think of myself more highly than I ought or to be wise in my own eyes!!  Open my eyes to the ways I have hurt others, and grant me quick repentance and a heart that is quick to do all that I need to do to make things right with others.  Give me courage to love in the face of rejection, and give me opportunities to lavishly love those you call me to love, even when I am hurt and confused by them.  Help me to love well and to persevere in love even when it becomes difficult.  Help me to be a peacemaker, and not to inflame conflict.  Thank you that you are my rock and that your love is my identity and source of strength.  Help me to be rooted in your love, so that I can love in difficult situations.  Remind me that the gospel is most prominently displayed through lavish, unmerited love in the face of sin and rejection--as this is the love that you showed to me!  I confess that I am fully incapable of loving like this apart from your grace and your power!  I pray that Romans 12 would speak to any others who are wrestling through these same questions and issues like me.  Thank you, Lord!  We love you. 

Romans 12

I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.2 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.


Gifts of Grace


3 For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned. 4 For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, 5 so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. 6 Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; 7 if service, in our serving; the one who teaches, in his teaching; 8 the one who exhorts, in his exhortation; the one who contributes, in generosity; the one who leads, with zeal; the one who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness.

Marks of the True Christian


9 Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. 10 Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. 11 Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. 12 Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. 13 Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.
14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. 16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. 17 Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. 18 If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. 19 Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” 20 To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Love, Love, Love

I just read Alexander Strauch's book, "Love or Die". It was an excellent little book on the necessity of being a people marked by love. I am now reading through Sam Storm's book, "A Sincere and Pure Devotion to Christ: 100 Meditations on 2 Corinthians". This is from the introduction:




"Who was this man (the apostle Paul)? What made him tick? Why did he make the painful choices we read in the New Testament? People who have tracked his missionary journeys and struggled to comprehend his many letters long to get inside his head and peer ino his heart. What were his motives? How did he perseere in the face of unending hardship and excruciating persecution? What accounts for his unyielding commitment to Christ and his love for the many churches he established? What empowered him to endure hte slander of those he served and to sacrifice himself for people who repaid his devotion with disdain and conempt? One might think such experiences would compel Paul to withdraw within himself, to retreat relationally, to close off his heart and take whatever steps necessary to guard his wounded soul from further damage..." p. 11-12

The same observation, but in greater dimensions, could be made about Jesus--who willingly and knowingly left His throne in perfect fellowship, unity, and love with the Father--to love, serve, and die for His own creation who spat upon Him.

A quote attributed to Mother Theresa is "I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love."

I long to love like this! I know my love is immature because the woundedness and brokenness in my relationships (even when my own sin is the direct cause or a contributing cause of the woundedness and brokenness) still leaves me reeling sometimes, still makes me a little gun-shy to re-engage sometimes, and even still tempts me to bitterness sometimes. But I long to love like Jesus does. I long to love in a way that is truly sacrificial, that truly considers others more significant than myself, and that looks to the interest of others---in marriage, in family, and in friendships. I long to love in such a way that I would truly be rooted in God's love Himself--the love between the Father and Son by the Spirit, the love God has showered on me, and the love that God has for each person I ever encounter. I long to be satisfied in God's love—to be rooted and planted there in the love that does not disappoint and is always bigger than I can imagine, so that I would never need to look for security elsewhere and yet also so that I could receive God's love for me given to me through my husband, family, and friends. I long to love with a heart that is tender--not calloused, not hardened, and not impenetrable. I long to love with a heart that is sincere, genuine, compassionate, and empathetic… with a heart that listens and acts. I long to love with a heart that puts God first—that always seeks to be filled up with God before seeking to pour out to others.

Here is a quote from C.S. Lewis’ book, “The Four Loves”:

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.”

I think this is part of what 1 John is referring to: 1 John 4:18 “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.” Real love takes risks because we know that we have all we need in Christ’s love for us. Whatever we risk cannot overshadow what we have gained in God’s love for all of us. The more we are rooted in this truth, the less fear we need have, and the more sacrificial risks we may take in loving other sinners like ourselves.

What about you? How do you long to grow in love? Are you rooted in God’s love? Do you know what that means? Do you believe in God’s love (for you, for others?)? How do you root yourself in God’s love? Are you paralyzed or gun-shy, even a little bit, by a broken or damaged heart—by the wounds you have endured by those who have sinned against you or against those you have loved? Do you protect yourself through loving acts of service directed towards others, while erecting impenetrable walls to keep others from hurting (and loving) you? Do you distract yourself with other things (worldly things or not) to keep yourself from getting to close to others or to keep them from getting too close to you? Do you focus more on how others love (or don’t love) you, rather than on how you can love others? How do you love the unlovable, the undesirable, the annoying, the nobodies, the people who can’t give you anything in return, and even your enemies? Do you want to love like this, but don’t know how to conjure up this kind of love? (If so, don’t worry—you CANT conjure this love up—it comes from God, from being filled with His Spirit by seeking Him in prayer, in the Word, in fellowship, in worshipful song, etc.)

If you are in the same position in which I am finding myself (wanting to love like Christ), I’ll end with some verses we could meditate on together:

Ephesians 3:14-21 “For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, 15 from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, 16 that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, 18 may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, 19 and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. 20 Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.”


1 John 4:7-21 “Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9 In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. 10 In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. 11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12 No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us. 13 By this we know that we abide in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit. 14 And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. 15 Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God. 16 So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. 17 By this is love perfected with us, so that we may have confidence for the day of judgment, because as he is so also are we in this world. 18 There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. 19 We love because he first loved us. 20 If anyone says, 'I love God,' and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. 21 And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother."

Doing Nothing Equals Something

I am signed up for an email newsletter called, “PeaceMeal” by PeaceMakers Ministries (www.peacemakers.net). I thought today's newsletter was very insightful and convicting and brought up a helpful point in the theme of my “Taking Reconciliation Seriously” post. It is easier for me to recognize my sins of commission in conflict (or in anything really), but it is harder for me to recognize my sins of omission. Jesus calls us to much more than simply putting off sinful behaviors. He calls us to a heart transformation that results in fruit like love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self control. He doesn’t just call us to refrain from harming others, He calls us to actively do good to others—even those whom have harmed us and even when doing good inconveniences us or costs us and even when there is no affirmation for ourselves in it!


Lord, Jesus, please show us what active good you are calling us to do in the situation of our lives! Wake us up where we blissfully slumber or look the other way! Provide us with grace, courage, discernment, with the resurrection power of your Spirit to obey with fruit that supernaturally proceeds from Spirit-wrought genuine love—the very love of Christ. Let scandalous, pursuing, sacrificial, active love be our worship of you!

Here is the newsletter post from PeaceMakers Ministries:

Doing Nothing Equals Something


"Forgive us our debts..." Matthew 6:12

In fact, we can sin against God by omission -- by doing nothing. As James 4:17 tells us, "Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins." Therefore, if we are involved in a conflict and neglect opportunities to serve others (by failing to bear their burdens, gently restore them, etc.), we are guilty of sin in God's eyes.

Adapted from The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict

by Ken Sande, Updated Edition (Grand Rapids, Baker Books, 2003) p. 119.

Food for Thought

By neglecting to do good, we end up neglecting God.

Have you ever been in a situation and you just knew you were being asked to do something good, say something good, be something good -- but you didn't do it, say it, or be it? No doubt we all have. In the wake of those moments, we often feel like we've neglected someone. But how often do we live with the awareness that we've neglected God in those moments?

When we do something unto the least of our brothers or sisters, we're doing it as unto the Lord. And when we don't something unto the least of our brothers and sisters, we're not doing it unto the Lord. Omission by another name is neglect. And neglect in God's eyes is sin. Sincerely confess it to God, and ask him to help you to "do good" in that relationship in the future.

Taking Reconcilation Seriously

Over the past year, I have been blessed to see God redeem a really difficult conflict situation between a deeply loved close friend of mine and me. God has taught me so much about His heart for reconciliation through this situation.  The gospel is all about God reconciling us to Himself through Christ so that we can enjoy relationship with Him. God’s heart for His people is that, through Christ’s work of reconciliation on the cross, we get to participate in the glorious fellowship between Father and Son by the Spirit AND we get to have fellowship with one another.

For the longest time, I failed to see this second piece.  An important aspect of the good news of our salvation through Christ is that Christians get enjoy fellowship with one another and that we get to live out the gospel in relationship!  Our love for each other is: 1) a way we love and worship God; 2) a demonstration of our faith in God/the gospel; and 3) a testimony to the world and to the heavenly realms of the greatness of our God (there is so much Scriptural support for this—see John 13, the book of Ephesians, Mathew 5:23-24, for starters.).

We Christians can easily underestimate the importance and effects of our loving one another, serving one another, pursuing reconciliation with one another, being unified with one another, speaking truth with one another, etc. And yet, this is the heart of how we are called to live out the gospel in love.  This is a mark of what it is to be a Christian.  This is part of what we are "saved to". 

We Christians can easily forget that we have the best opportunities to live out the gospel in faith and worship when our relationships get difficult. It is easy to love when people are naturally easy to love, when we have affinity towards someone, when conflicts have not yet arisen, when circumstances have not become difficult or awkward, and when confrontation is not needed. Yet, these are the very times when we have the best opportunities to reflect the scandalous, sacrificial, other-worldly gospel love that our Savior shows us. This is precisely the kind of love that the world doesn’t understand.  Worldly love has no problem loving when the object of that love is meeting a need in the lover or is at the very least not hurting the lover in return (see Matthew 5:43-48).  But worldly love does not love in the face of reviling or when it becomes too inconvenient. Gospel love—the kind of love that returns reviling with blessing, the kind of love that perseveres even when circumstances are difficult and inconvenient, the kind of love that desires and pursues real relationship, the kind of love that looks after the good of the beloved—this is the very love of our Glorious God. This love stuns the world and heralds the worthiness of our God. We cannot love like this on our own. The closer we get to God, the more He graciously pours this love into our hearts, the more we are satisfied and delighted by God's love, and the more this love flows out from us to others. The more we ask God for the ability to love others with gospel love, the more God generously gives us His grace to love others like this.

I want to be clear here, we are called to pursue reconcilation with a sincere heart of love (see Romans 12).  This kind of love is humble, considers others more significant than ourselves, and looks to the interests of others (see Philippians 2).  But we are not called to pursue peace at all costs. We are called to live peaceably with others as far as it depends on us (see Romans 12). Scripture lays out processes for pursuing reconciliation with others when conflicts arise (for instance, see Matthew 5:23-24 & Matthew 18. These processes involve communicating directly with the person with whom we have conflict and also involves getting others involved if needed.) Sometimes despite our best efforts to pursue and reconcile, the ones we love simply will not want to be reconciled. Sometimes the one with whom we have conflict will not want to walk in the light, will not want to be humble, and will not want to be submitted to God's Word and His people. At that point, all we can do is to continue to pray and to leave the door open for reconciliation with a clear conscience. In the process of reconciliation, we are never called to compromise truth or righteousness in our pursuit of peace. This is not loving/honoring God nor is it loving others. God does not comprise truth or righteousness for the sake of peace. God loves His creation and desires that all men be reconciled to Him through faith in Christ. Yet, some men refuse to be reconciled. God does not alter the truth of His righteousness or the truth of man’s sinful state in order to accommodate the refusal of some men to be reconciled.

So what does this mean for us as Christians? What kind of heart questions can we ask ourselves to examine our commitment to reconcilation that stems from a heart of sincere gospel love? Here is a place to start:

• 
  
  What do our relationships look like? Do our relationships reflect gospel love (scandalous, pursuing, persevering, sacrificial, etc.)? Do our relationships reflect worldly love (conditional, only when convenient, primarily self-serving and self-preserving)?
• 
  
  Do we have un-reconciled relationships? (Think about relationships where we have unresolved sin against others, where others have unresolved sin against us, or where distance has crept in because of sin or awkwardness, etc.)
• 
  
  In what ways have we pursued reconciliation in these un-reconciled relationships? (See Romans 12—especially Romans 12:18 “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.”)
• 
  
  Do we have a clear conscience with regard to these un-reconciled relationships? (In answering this question sincerely…have we prayed about this? Have we consulted other Christians who are impartial in the matter and who can hold us accountable to obedience consistent with God’s Word in this?)
• 
  
  Who is God calling us to pursue, forgive, persevere with, pray for, etc.?
• 
  
  Do we have loved ones in the Body of Christ who are experiencing conflict? How have we been loving these parties? Do we have an opportunity to be an agent of reconciliation in these situations and are we praying about any role that God would have us play in bringing about reconcilation? Are we obeying in love for God and others?  Are we praying for the conflicted parties?
• 
  
  In our own un-reconciled relationships and in the un-reconciled relationships that we see in the Body of Christ, are we being motivated by love & conviction, or by self interest & convenience? Are we willing to pursue reconciliation even when it will cost us something?  Does our heart and behavior in these situations reflect the kind of love that we have been shown by God?
• 
  
  What is our motive in our desires and efforts toward reconcilation?  Is it love (for God and others)?

I appreciated this devotional I received today from PeaceMakers Ministries through their E-mail Newsletter called “PeaceMeal”.  Here is their website: http://www.peacemaker.net/

The Other Great Commission

If you learn that someone has something against you, God wants you to take the initiative in seeking peace--even if you do not believe you have done anything wrong. If you believe that another person's complaints against you are unfounded or that the misunderstanding is entirely the other person's fault, you may naturally conclude that you have no responsibility to take the initiative in restoring peace. This is a common conclusion, but it is false, for it is contrary to Jesus' specific teaching in Matthew 5:23-24: "Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift."

Food for Thought


Do you recall the "Great Commission?" This was Jesus' command to his disciples in Matthew 28:18-20 to "Go and make disciples of all nations."
Think about Matthew 5:23-24 as "The Other Great Commission"-- and it may be even more challenging for us to fulfill. Going to reconcile with someone who has a complaint about us involves humility ("Why should I go to them if they're the one who's upset?"), empathy (attempting to see the situation from someone else's perspective), and obedience (we go because Jesus commands us, not because we want to or even because we feel that reconciliation is possible). Are there any people in your life to whom you need to "go" today in order to reconcile? Maybe there is a long-standing feud between you and a family member or former friend that God is inviting you to begin to address today through this reminder.

Thoughts About Love

I love Pastor Voddie Baucham's definition of love: "Love is an act of the will accompanied by emotion that leads to action on behalf of its object." *

Man, I want to love like that!


God’s standard of love is high and impossible for me to live out apart from His Spirit. Just take a look at Romans 12:9-21:

9 “Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good.


10 Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.


11 Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord.


12 Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.


13 Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.


14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them.


15 Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.


16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight.


17 Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. 18 If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.


19 Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”


20 To the contrary, ‘if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.’


21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”

The fact that God commands this standard of me is not just daunting to me but is simply impossible to carry out in my own strength and by my own instinct (which is naturally selfish). Still, the impossibility of me to obey this high standard to which He calls me does not negate the fact that He still calls me to this high standard! There is an answer to this dilemma though. God graciously gives us His empowering Spirit when we first believe, and He graciously fills us with His Spirit as we humbly ask Him to do so. We seek to be continually filled with the Spirit in prayer, through the Word (and particularly through the example of Jesus), by walking in the light before our brothers and sisters, through the counsel of those who know and love Him, and as we spend time in worship of Him, etc. So when I fail to meet this standard of love (as I frequently do) I must humbly go to God in repentance and dependence, asking to be filled by Him. When I do not feel the genuine affection of love, I must still follow through with the actions of love—however, I also must fall on my knees before my gracious Father and pray for the heart of love. After all, God cares about the heart or motives of my actions as much as He cares about the actions that flow from them. And ultimately, if all I have are actions without heart, then my actions are meaningless.

*For more from Voddie Baucham:
http://www.voddiebaucham.org/vbm/home.html

More Love

I just read a great book by Harry Kraus, MD called, The Cure: The Divine Prescription for the Body of Christ--Life Changing Love. His message is clear, the heartbeat of the Church must be love--we need to be saturated with God's love for us (the gospel), this love needs to flow out to nurture the rest of the Body of Christ, and this love must overflow to bless those who do not know Jesus. This love is not saccharine, short-lived, self-serving, superficial, conjured up, or simply grand talk with no action. This love is sacrificial, persevering, pursuing, engaging, risk-taking, sincere, affectionate, lasting, and devoted and does not return evil for evil, but rather returns evil for good. As Dallas Willard puts it (quoted in Kraus' book p.62) this love is "to will to good" or to promote the good of the beloved for the sake of the beloved.

How many of us love like that? When I am in an argument with Kristian, how often are my words and actions oriented toward his good? When I have met the most annoying person on the planet, how are my demeanor and actions oriented for his or her good? When I have witnessed someone wrongly accused or wrongly treated, how are my actions or inactions oriented toward that person’s good? When someone has deeply hurt or betrayed me or someone I love, how are my heart and actions oriented toward that person’s good? When I see my brother or sister in blatant sin, how are my heart and actions oriented to that person’s good? All of these situations require me putting my interests aside—interests like my comfort, my pride, my rights, my reputation, my feelings, my resources, my time, my energy, etc.

What I am not talking about is conceding to or enabling another person’s sin or fostering injustice. What I am talking about is a heart that tells the truth of the gospel in love. This involves telling the truth about sin—our sin first—remembering that our righteousness was bought at a price we could not pay. And from that place of HUMILITY, it involves communicating IN LOVE (with words and without words—through prayer, longsuffering, service, overlooking minor offenses/irritations, etc.) the glorious truth that forgiveness and true freedom are graciously offered without cost from the hand of Jesus for all who would humbly come to Him. This good news is something about which we must lovingly remind each other because sin WILL creep up in our hearts and lives on this side of heaven, and our hearts and sins deceive us. We need each other so that we will not be deceived. At the heart of this difficult and inconvenient love is a heart of reconciliation. We cannot love someone and be okay with the lack of reconciliation between us. We must do all we can in love to pursue peace (Romans 12:18), but only in a way that is true to the truth of the gospel of love. Obviously, there is only so much we can do when the other party refuses to be reconciled. Yet we must continue to love actively through prayer and through any opportunity that God provides—never giving up. When we love like this, we are promoting the good of those we are called to love.

Here is a quote from Kraus' book:

Love stands at the heart of the gospel, the core of God's motivation and plan to rescue is bride. Now just to be perfectly clear on this, I am not talking about a wimpy, overly soft love that says, “I love you no matter what you do. Rather, this love, God’s love for us, says, “Your wrong thoughts, words, and actions are despicable in my sight. I cannot wink at or overlook any of it. Nevertheless, I love you. I want to pardon you and make you brand-new, and that’s why I sent my only Son to pay the price of your sins and win your forgiveness in him.” Yes, love stands at the heart of the gospel—love that was demonstrated at the cross where the totally innocent Son of God, our Lord Jesus Christ, died so we could live. In that sense the cross stands at the heart of the gospel, because it was there that God’s love shone most clearly and most powerfully. And once we come to know God through Jesus Christ, that love is to flow out from us to all who are around us. Jesus couldn’t be clearer. Love was to be the way that everyone who wasn’t a Christian would look on and understand. Oh they’re Christian. I can see it in their behavior.

Paul says that without love, we’re dead in the water. Ministry fails. Evangelism falls flat. Our witness is void. Come on my good deeds must be worth something! Surely God notices.

Not if they are devoid of love. Then every effort is useless. That’s why Paul says we are to pursue love. I like the way it reads in the Living Bible, a helpful paraphrase: “Let love be your greatest aim!” 1 Cor 14:1a. ----pp 172-173 The Cure

Oh Father, Please give us more love!  Fill us so completely with your love.  Remind us of all you have done for us.  Remind us of your character--the heart of which is love.  Show us the beauty of the true and powerful and tender love between Father and Son by the Spirit.  Show us how you have made that amazing love to overflow to us. Thank you for allowing us to partake!!! Show us how we can love your Body in ways that honor you.  Show us how we can love those who do not yet know the joy of worshipping you.  I can think of so many specific examples in my life and the lives of those I love where there is separation due to sin.  Teach us how to honor you in these circumstances.  Where we are blind to our own sin, please open our eyes.  Please help us to walk in repentance and in humility.  Help us to be teachable and open to your loving rebuke however it may come to us.  Show us how to love those who are walking in blatant sin against you and against others.  Speak to us about concrete ways that you want us to love them.  Show us how to promote their good in each circumstance.  Show us what loving them should look like even when they want nothing to do with us.  Bind up the wounds we have all suffered.  Refresh our weary souls with your satisfying love.  May it energize and empower us to love others.  We pray for you to soften any hardness of heart in ourselves and in those we love.  Please bridge the gap again, Oh Great God of Reconcilation!  Do a marvelous work that your name would be exalted.  I thank you that even though there is so much we simply don't understand, you are infinitely worth of our trust.  The good you are working toward even in the ugliness of our sin and theses situations will one day take our breath away.  I know it!  Thank you, Lord.  In Jesus' Name, Amen.

The Great Love With Which He Loved Us

My heart and my mind were spinning. I was sitting in a pub having dinner and a pint with a wise and trusted friend. And no, in case you were wondering, it wasn’t the alcohol that had my heart and mind spinning. We were both involved in a ministry where something had gone wrong. I was confused, disturbed, grieved, and unsettled. It was hard for me determine exactly when things had gone wrong. More than that, it was hard for me to determine the root of what had gone wrong, I only knew that something major was not right. In searching for the root, my mind automatically went to aspects of theology and to practical application—surely something went wrong in one of those things. When I asked my friend what she thought, her answer was love, gospel love--1 Cor 13 love, to be exact. I remember the first thing that popped into my head when she said it, “Isn’t that a little simplistic? I mean, after all, this is a complicated situation.” My proud and foolish first instinct was to dismiss her suggestion—after all, there must be more to it, right? Although I would not have seen through my own thinking at the time, in retrospect the heart behind it was this: “I know the Bible is God-breathed and that all of it is important, but isn’t 1 Cor 13 ‘baby Christianity’? Isn’t it simply the verse that gets thrown out at every wedding?” My friend simply and humbly reminded me:
“If I SPEAK IN THE TONGUES OF MEN AND ANGELS, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 And if I have PROPHETIC POWERS, and UNDERSTAND ALL MYSTERIES AND ALL KNOWLEDGE, and if I have ALL FAITH, SO AS TO REMOVE MOUNTAINS, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I GIVE AWAY ALL I have, and if I DELIVER UP MY BODY TO BE BURNED, but have not love, I gain NOTHING.” 1 Cor 13:1-3

Wow, when I really thought about it, those were some pretty note-worthy, impressive, and even noble talents and achievements that all ended in… NOTHING.

As I pondered what my friend said to me over the next days and months, a light went on in me.  I realized that my heart and mind had wandered from the main thing. The gospel is that God loves! The heart of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit is LOVE. The Father and Son love each other by the Spirit of Love. Because of the GREAT LOVE with which He loved us, God paid the ultimate sacrifice of incarnation and the cross (see Ephesians 2:4-10)! Worship is loving God and loving others (see Mark 12:28-34). Love is the marking characteristic of a Christian. John 13:35 “By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” Without this love, NOTHING else matters.

Jesus is all about love—love for the Father, love for the lost, and love for His Bride. Jesus’ love does not look like the worldly love we find in our own hearts. The worldly love in my heart tells me to love when it is convenient to me—when I receive affirmation, when I don’t have to go too far out of my comfort zone, and when it doesn’t cause me pain. Worldly love tells me that people are a means to an end and when people are no longer useful, it is time to part ways. Worldly love tells me it is all about my feelings—that love is a drug and when the euphoria fades, the commitment should also fade. Worldly love tells me that I am to love the lovely and influential, not the unlovely and nobodies of this world.

Jesus shouts to me in the middle of this, in the middle of my confused heart—“Beloved, this is not love!!!” He tells me instead:

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never ends… “1 Cor 13: 4-8

Jesus shows me that real love involves loving the unlovely (while I was yet a sinner, Christ died for me—the ungodly. Romans 5:6). Jesus shows me that loving someone means being motivated by seeking their good through actions that cost me dearly—it means laying my life and my interests down for them (John 15:13; Philippians 2:1-11) . Jesus shows me that loving someone means persevering with them and for them (Philippians 1:6). Jesus shows me that love involves loving not just the strong, talented, and influential but also the weak, marginalized, and least influential (Samaritan woman, woman caught in adultery, disciples, woman who touched his cloak, etc.) Jesus shows me that love is personal and not abstract (One of the most powerful examples of this to me is the fact that Jesus was making arrangements for his mother’s care even as he was literally hanging on the cross bearing the sins of the world—see John 19:26-27.) Jesus shows me that loving someone means actively loving the person who betrays and abandons me (what Jesus did for me at the cross!). Jesus shows me that love is intentional pursuing devotion, and not something that fades away when it becomes inconvenient (see the whole Bible—God’s pursuit of His people!)

I am grateful that God used my friend to speak to me in such a powerful way. I know that God’s heart for me is to be rooted in His love—to be so aware of his scandalous, beautiful, personal love for me and to be so satisfied by it that it becomes part of my being—who I am, what motivates me, how I interact with others, what I say, and what I do—so that others would be drawn to the same Source and be filled and satisfied by Him as well!

And so I am fervently praying this prayer for me and for you:

Ephesians 3:14-21

“14 For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, 15 from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, 16 that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, 18 may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, 19 and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. 20 Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.”

Great Quote

I am currently reading a book called, "The Cure: The Divine Prescription for the Body of Christ--Life-Changing Love" by Harry Kraus MD.  So far, it is a great read.  This great quote from Dallas Willard was in it:

"At first, what exactly is love?  It is will to good or 'bene-volence'. We love something or someone when we promote its good for its own sake.  Love's contrary is malice, and its absence is indifference.  It's normal accompaniment is delight, but a twisted soul may delight in evil and take no pleasure in good.  Love is not the same thing as desire, for I may desire something without even wishing it well, much less willing its good.  I might desire a chocolate ice cream cone, for example, but I do not wish I well; I wish to eat it.  This is the difference between lust (mere desire) and love, as between a man and woman.  Desire and love are, of course, compatible when desire is ruled by love; but most people today would, unfortunately, not even know the difference between them.  Hence, in our world, love constantly falls prey to lust.  That is a major part of the deep sickness of contemporary life.  By contrast, what characterizes the deepest evidence of God is love--that is, will to good."  Dallas Willard, "Renovation of the Heart: Putting on the Character of Christ pp.130-131.

"The Law of Love" by Tom Ascol

I subscribe to a magazine called "Table Talk" from Ligonier Ministries.  I recently read this short, simple, concise, and powerful article in the September issue, and I wanted to share.  I'd love to hear your thoughts on this article too in the comments section.  Happy reading.


The Law of Love


By Dr. Tom Ascol


Life is all about relationship. A significant part of what it means for us to be created in the image of God is to be relational. God Himself is a relational being. Not only does He relate personally to us as His image-bearers, He also has enjoyed perfect relational harmony as Father, Son, and Spirit from all eternity.


Our greatest joys and sorrows come because of relationships. In order for us to live as we ought, we must have our relationships properly ordered. This means that we must relate to the right things in the right way. God has not left us to figure out on our own how to do this. He has spoken very simply and clearly about the essence and priority of all human relationships. Jesus explained it when answering a question from a lawyer.


“Which is the great commandment in the Law?” (Matt. 22:36). The question seems innocent enough until we consider its background and context. The Jewish leaders had plotted against Jesus and were trying to “entangle him in his talk” (v. 15). After turning the tables on them when they asked Him about taxes, exposing their ignorance of Scripture and God’s power concerning the resurrection, He entertained this question about the law.


Rabbis had lengthy debates over this question. They had divided the Mosaic Law into 613 commands – 248 positive ones and 365 negative ones. Their arguments focused on which ones are great and heavy versus those that are small and light.


Jesus dismissed all of those niggling debates by giving a comprehensive answer that both satisfied the inquisitor and revealed God’s overarching will for those who bear His image. “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets” (Matt. 22:37-40).


Jesus’ answer gives the point and purpose of the whole law. He summarizes our complete responsibility in terms of relationships, specifically, our relationships to God and people. The essence of all our relationships, He says, is love.


The first priority of love is God Himself. We are to love God comprehensively and supremely. Heart, soul, and mind are each qualified by “all,” indicating that we are obligated to love God with every part of every faculty that we possess.


What does such love look like? Jesus said, “If you love me, you will keep my commandments” (John 14:15). So obedience is closely connected to loving the Lord, but it is not enough to say that they are the same thing. Love is more than an act of the will. It includes that, but it first arises in the affections.


John makes this connection in 1 John 5:3 where he writes, “For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments. And His commandments are not burdensome.” Loving God involves keeping His commandments – not as a burden but as a delight. More than a dozen times this attitude of delighting in God’s law is expressed in Psalm 119.


Augustine described the love that we are to have for God as “the motion of the soul toward the enjoyment of God for His own sake, and the enjoyment of one’s self and of one’s neighbor for the sake of God.” To love God is to enjoy Him above everything and everyone else and out of that joy to live in glad obedience to His will.


But Jesus does not stop there. He goes on to teach us that, after loving God supremely, our next greatest responsibility is to love people sincerely. Contrary to what some teach about this, Jesus is not commanding self-love. Nor should His words be taken to imply that we cannot love others until we learn to love ourselves.


Jesus assumes that we already do love ourselves. Paul explicitly makes this point by noting that “no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it” (Eph. 5:29). This kind of natural self-love is manifested by the choices that we make to serve our own interests. No matter how destructive such choices are, they are expressions of self-love.


Once we understand the inevitability of self-love, Jesus’ command that we love others as much as we love ourselves becomes incredibly broad. The health, comfort, companionship, and benefits that I desire for myself I am also to desire for my neighbors.


This means that while I must never love people – even my closest relations – more than God, I must love them as much as I love myself.


All of this, of course, shows how completely dependent we are on the grace of Jesus Christ. We cannot love God supremely or people sincerely apart from His love first reaching us through the power of the Gospel. Only as we are so loved will we be set free to love in return.


Dr. Tom Ascol is pastor of Grace Baptist Church in Cape Coral, Florida, and executive director of Founders Ministries.


From Ligonier Ministries and R.C. Sproul. © Tabletalk magazine, September 2008, Website: www.ligonier.org/tabletalk

ESPN and Lavish Love

For anyone who knows me, you might be surprised to see me posting an article from ESPN on my blog since I know virtually nothing about sports. I heard this story on the radio and it really touched me. It is keeping with a theme that has been on my heart lately--Biblical love is scandalously lavish love. Enjoy….

http://sports.espn.go.com/espnmag/story?section=magazine&id=3789373

Photo by Melinda Wright "Gainsesville State players douse head coach Mark Williams in celebration."

Life of Reilly
"There are some games in which cheering for the other side feels better than winning."
by Rick Reilly

They played the oddest game in high school football history last month down in Grapevine, Texas. It was Grapevine Faith vs. Gainesville State School and everything about it was upside down. For instance, when Gainesville came out to take the field, the Faith fans made a 40-yard spirit line for them to run through.

Did you hear that? The other team's fans?

They even made a banner for players to crash through at the end. It said, "Go Tornadoes!" Which is also weird, because Faith is the Lions.

It was rivers running uphill and cats petting dogs. More than 200 Faith fans sat on the Gainesville side and kept cheering the Gainesville players on—by name.

"I never in my life thought I'd hear people cheering for us to hit their kids," recalls Gainesville's QB and middle linebacker, Isaiah. "I wouldn't expect another parent to tell somebody to hit their kids. But they wanted us to!"

And even though Faith walloped them 33-14, the Gainesville kids were so happy that after the game they gave head coach Mark Williams a sideline squirt-bottle shower like he'd just won state. Gotta be the first Gatorade bath in history for an 0-9 coach.

But then you saw the 12 uniformed officers escorting the 14 Gainesville players off the field and two and two started to make four. They lined the players up in groups of five—handcuffs ready in their back pockets—and marched them to the team bus. That's because Gainesville is a maximum-security correctional facility 75 miles north of Dallas. Every game it plays is on the road.

This all started when Faith's head coach, Kris Hogan, wanted to do something kind for the Gainesville team. Faith had never played Gainesville, but he already knew the score. After all, Faith was 7-2 going into the game, Gainesville 0-8 with 2 TDs all year. Faith has 70 kids, 11 coaches, the latest equipment and involved parents. Gainesville has a lot of kids with convictions for drugs, assault and robbery—many of whose families had disowned them—wearing seven-year-old shoulder pads and ancient helmets.

So Hogan had this idea. What if half of our fans—for one night only—cheered for the other team? He sent out an email asking the Faithful to do just that. "Here's the message I want you to send:" Hogan wrote. "You are just as valuable as any other person on planet Earth."
Some people were naturally confused. One Faith player walked into Hogan's office and asked, "Coach, why are we doing this?"

And Hogan said, "Imagine if you didn't have a home life. Imagine if everybody had pretty much given up on you. Now imagine what it would mean for hundreds of people to suddenly believe in you."

Next thing you know, the Gainesville Tornadoes were turning around on their bench to see something they never had before. Hundreds of fans. And actual cheerleaders!

"I thought maybe they were confused," said Alex, a Gainesville lineman (only first names are released by the prison). "They started yelling 'DEE-fense!' when their team had the ball. I said, 'What? Why they cheerin' for us?'"

It was a strange experience for boys who most people cross the street to avoid. "We can tell people are a little afraid of us when we come to the games," says Gerald, a lineman who will wind up doing more than three years. "You can see it in their eyes. They're lookin' at us like we're criminals. But these people, they were yellin' for us! By our names!"

Maybe it figures that Gainesville played better than it had all season, scoring the game's last two touchdowns. Of course, this might be because Hogan put his third-string nose guard at safety and his third-string cornerback at defensive end. Still.

After the game, both teams gathered in the middle of the field to pray and that's when Isaiah surprised everybody by asking to lead. "We had no idea what the kid was going to say," remembers Coach Hogan. But Isaiah said this: "Lord, I don't know how this happened, so I don't know how to say thank You, but I never would've known there was so many people in the world that cared about us."

And it was a good thing everybody's heads were bowed because they might've seen Hogan wiping away tears.

As the Tornadoes walked back to their bus under guard, they each were handed a bag for the ride home—a burger, some fries, a soda, some candy, a Bible and an encouraging letter from a Faith player.

The Gainesville coach saw Hogan, grabbed him hard by the shoulders and said, "You'll never know what your people did for these kids tonight. You'll never, ever know."

And as the bus pulled away, all the Gainesville players crammed to one side and pressed their hands to the window, staring at these people they'd never met before, watching their waves and smiles disappearing into the night.

Anyway, with the economy six feet under and Christmas running on about three and a half reindeer, it's nice to know that one of the best presents you can give is still absolutely free.

Hope.